The Complex Tales of Mer and Der
by Eliza.Cava.Shep
Summary: A series of stories from 1-5 chapters about Meredith and Derek and their various struggles. Many are AU and many are intense and/or dark.
1. Sun

**This is a MerDer shooting one-shot. What if Meredith had acted differently during the shooting? Fair warning: it's intense and dark. Enjoy and let me know what you think.**

Meredith leaned against the wooden door, panting as her heart began to race in her chest. Cristina paced back and forth in the supply closet, her hands resting stressfully on her head. She felt nausea wash over her and threw her lab coat off of her shoulders, grabbing a plastic bin from the nearest shelf and beginning to heave into it.

"Meredith, what's wrong?" Cristina asked her. She controlled her gagging for a moment and checked her watch.

"I've been throwing up around this time every day for a week now. I don't think this stress is-" She was cut off by another wave of nausea as she heaved once again above the bin, yet still didn't throw up.

"Oh, my god! Oh, my god, Meredith, get down! Get down!" Cristina whisper-screamed to her. The blonde surgeon dropped to a sitting position on the floor, leaning against the door for support as she held her stomach in an attempt to stop the nausea.

'What? What's happening?" She whispered, only earning a shush from Cristina as she peeked through the window in the door. Meredith covered her mouth with her hand to stop herself from retching all over the floor as Cristina's breathing kicked up.

"That's the guy from the elevator..." She whispered to herself Meredith shook her head at Cristina, confused and thinking that she couldn't hold herself back much longer.

"He asked for directions... to the chief's office... oh, my god..." Cristina's eyes went wide and she looked down at Meredith in shock. The blonde surgeon felt bile rising in her throat and began to heave once again over the plastic bin.

"Meredith... the guy with the gun is looking for Derek." Meredith was overcome with shock, and so she lost control of her body, heaving one last time and throwing up in the plastic bin in her lap. She reached into her pocket and pulled out the positive pregnancy test, clutching it in her hand as she threw up again and praying that the shooter couldn't hear her.

XxXxX

With golden string

Our universe was clothed in light

Pulling at the seams,

Our once barren world now brims with life

XxXxX

Derek heard sirens wailing in the distance as he ran down the catwalk, checking his pager and looking around to make sure everyone had gotten to safety.

"Dr. Shepherd?" He heard a man's voice behind him and turned, walking quickly towards the man, who was tall with grey hair and a mustache.

"Sir, you shouldn't be here, it's not safe." He said, looking around for anyone suspicious. The man walked towards him casually, his hands in the pockets of his brown coat.

"I know it's not safe here. That's the point. This hospital isn't safe." When Derek only furrowed his eyebrows at the man, he continued. "You don't recognize me, do you?" He asked. Realization crossed the surgeon's face and he smiled slightly.

"Mr. Clark. Sorry, I was... there's a lot going on here, I have a situation, you should go someplace safe. so you don't get hurt." Derek said softly. Gary Clark's blue eyes were cold as he stared at Derek.

"I'm already hurt." Derek's face changed as realization dawned on him and his eyes filled with fear. "You hurt me when you decided to kill my wife," Gary said coldly, raising the gun in his hand to point directly at Derek's chest.

XxXxX

That we may fall in love

Every time that we open up our eyes

I guess space and time

Takes violent things, angry things,

and makes them kind

XxXxX

Cristina held a firm grip on Meredith's hand as they walked quickly down the hall, their eyes scanning all around them for people and places to hide. Meredith's mouth fell open and she gasped as they rounded the corner, her eyes landing on a man pointing a gun at her husband. She felt Cristina's hands on her, pulling her back, but she couldn't focus on anything but Derek.

"Oh, my god. Oh, god." She said to herself.

"Mr. Clark." Derek started. He didn't know what he planned to say if he got the chance to talk, but he knew he wanted a chance.

"Shut up. No talking, you're not the man here. I'm the man. I'm the man. I told my wife I would be. I'm the man and a man looks after his wife. But I didn't. I let you decide that she should die. I wasn't a man then. But I'm a man now." Gary Clark said.

Meredith's hand covered her mouth and her eyes were wide with fear as she stepped forward towards the two men on the catwalk. She faintly heard Cristina urging her back, but the words didn't register in her mind. All she could see was the barrel of the gun and the fear in Derek's eyes.

"What kind of hospital is this? It isn't safe here. Somebody has to protect people from you. Handing down judgments like you're God. You don't get to be God. No talking!" He shouted when Derek continued to try to speak. Derek raised his hands and gulped, trying and failing to keep the terror from his eyes as he found the courage to speak despite the gunman's persistent orders.

"Mr. Clark, listen to me. I know your loss. I lost my father... when I was a kid. Two guys killed my father for his watch. Right in front of me. Right in front of me." His hands slowly dropped to his sides as he frowned at the man, filling slightly with anger. "I didn't become a doctor because I wanted to be God. I became a doctor because I wanted to save lives." He said.

"Look at me. Please, look at me in the eye." Derek said slowly. "I'm a human being. I make mistakes. I'm flawed. We all are." He continued, his eyes refusing to leave the blue eyes of his attacker.

"Today, I think... for you, it's just a mistake. You want justice. You want somebody to pay. You're a good man. I can see it in your eyes." He was silent for a while, allowing his speech to soak in for a few moments. "Can you see it in mine? Can you?" Derek asked, letting out a tiny sigh of relief as Gary slowly lowered the gun.

Meredith stumbled forward with Cristina behind her, breathing heavily in and out with tears beginning to pool in her green eyes.

Everyone in the room was silent for a moment, with the gun resting at the shooter's side and relief flushing over the three doctors. The moment was just that, a moment, as a second later, April Kepner walked onto the catwalk, drawing the attention of all of the room's residents.

"Oh, Dr. Shepherd. Thank god you're back." She said, not noticing the gun or the two residents across the room. Everyone seemed to move in slow motion as Derek turned around to face April, his mouth open and his eyes wide. Gary Clark raised the gun without him noticing, causing the frightened brunette to gasp.

Derek turned back around, coming face to face with a gun barrel. Meredith screamed at the top of her lungs, running over to him faster than she had ever moved before. Derek saw her just as the gunshot rang in all of their ears and the surgeons slowly opened their eyes to survey the damage. They were met with a horrible sight.

Both Meredith and Derek were laying on the ground in a heap. Everyone in the room stood in stunned silence as one of the grounded surgeons realized that they weren't the one that was shot.

"Meredith, no!" Derek screamed, jumping up so that he was kneeling over her. Cristina ran over to them, tears pouring down her face. April stared in shock and terror at the shooter, who was staring at the gun in his hand as if he was shocked it had fired.

Meredith had jumped in front of Derek at the last minute, throwing them both to the ground and getting herself shot in the chest. She felt her lung failing as she coughed up a mouthful of blood on her scrubs and looked up at Derek.

"D...Der-Derek... I- I.. I'm p...re-reg...nant.." She choked, failing to get air into her lungs and scrunching her face in pain. Derek was frozen for a moment in shock as Cristina reached them and immediately applied pressure to the wound, looking around for anything that could help her.

"She's pregnant... you're pregnant, she's pregnant.." Derek murmured to himself. Gary Clark stumbled over to the doctors on the ground, the gun hanging loosely in his hand. He heard what Derek was saying and fell to his knees.

"I shot a woman... a pregnant woman... for no reason... this wasn't supposed to happen... it wasn't supposed to be this way..." He sputtered. The hospital doors opened and a SWAT team rushed in, guns at the ready.

"I'm sorry Alison... that I couldn't protect you... that I hurt all those people... this isn't what you wanted... none of it was. I'm so sorry." He whispered to himself. Before anyone even had a chance to look at him, he held the gun to his temple and pulled the trigger.

XxXxX

We are the dust of dust

The apple of God's eye

We are infinite

As the universe we hold inside

XxXxX

Derek heard the gunshot and looked up, saw that Gary had shot himself, and turned his attention back to his wife. He didn't care what that monster did as long as he didn't touch his wife again. He kept both of his hands on Meredith's head, one of them stroking her hair and the other on her face.

"De- der... Derek... I l-love y...you" She managed. Derek frowned at her, wiping the tears from her cheeks as more blood spewed from her mouth and Cristina ordered April to get supplies.

"You're not going to die. You are not dying, do you hear me? Meredith, you're going to be fine, you're not dying. Promise me you're not going to die?" He said, tears drenching his own face.

"I... I'll try... not... to die." She said, her breathing becoming shallower as April came back with a crash cart and an armful of gauze and bandages.

"We need to turn her over to check if the bullet is still inside," Cristina said. Derek looked up at her sadly.

"Meredith, we have to lift you up for a second. I need you to hold my hand, this is going to hurt." Derek said. Meredith nodded weakly, gathering as much breath as she could and taking hold of Derek's hand.

Cristina and Derek reach under her and lifted her up quickly, searching her back for an exit wound. Meredith used the little breath she had to scream as pain cascaded across her entire body and tears covered her face. She squeezed Derek's hand so hard she thought she might break it as Cristina identified an exit wound and they set her back down on the ground.

Derek's hand shook as he cradled her face, encouraging her to breathe through the pain as Cristina began to pack the wound and bandage it.

"You're going to be fine, Meredith. You're going to be just fine. Just stay with us a little longer, you're going to be okay." Cristina said as she bandaged the wound hastily. April handed Derek an oxygen mask to put over Meredith's nose to help her breathe and he began to secure the straps around her head when she stopped him.

"Kiss me... please..." She said weakly. Derek leaned toward her, placing his lips on hers and letting tears drench his face. He tasted the blood that coated her lips and mouth but ignored it, placing the hand that wasn't holding hers on her pale cheek and wiping away her tears.

Moments later, her hand went limp in his. He sniffled and secured the oxygen mask over her face, nodding at Cristina to let her know that Meredith was unconscious. She placed a comforting hand on his back as he stroked her face and wiped the blood from her chin.

"You're going to be okay. You just keep our baby safe in there."

XxXxX

Infinity times infinity

Infinity times infinity times infinity

Infinity times infinity times infinity times infinity

Let there be light

Let there be light

Let me be right

XxXxX

Teddy pushed the bulky bed down the hallway inch by inch, with Owen on the other side helping her. They both stopped suddenly when his phone rang. He pulled it out to quickly silence it, but something caught his eye and he answered it. Teddy looked at him, asking him what was happening with her eyes. He just held his finger up to his mouth to tell her to be quiet.

"Derek? What's going on, what's the situation?" He asked quietly. He let out a sigh of relief and then put the phone on speaker.

"Can you repeat that? I've got Teddy here with me, and she should hear this from you." He said, smiling at her. She looked at him, confused. Derek sighed shakily from the other side.

"The shooter is dead, it's safe to come out.." He took a shaky breath that sounded more like a sob than a breath. Teddy and Owen exchanged worried looks.

"Derek, what's wrong? What happened?" Teddy asked. Derek sobbed softly into the phone.

"She was pregnant... she was pregnant... God, she was pregnant..." He muttered to himself. Owen and Teddy exchanged stunned looks as they began to roll their patient's bed faster down to the ICU.

"Who was? Talk to me, Derek, take a breath." Owen said. Derek took a deep and shaky breath from the other side of the line.

"Meredith. Meredith was pregnant." He said softly. Both surgeons were silent for a few moments as they reached the ICU. Neither of them moved, only staring at each other as Teddy finally spoke the one word they were both hung up on.

"Was?" She said. Derek sighed.

"Gary Clark came here to kill me. He was about to shoot me and she jumped in front of me at the last minute. The bullet went all the way through her lung and out the other side, and she's lost a lot of blood. Cristina's taking her to an O.R. now, but I need someone else to help. I don't do lungs. I just don't, I'm a brain surgeon, I can't help her." He explained slowly. Teddy and Owen stared at each other in shock for a minute before both breaking into a run back to the ORs.

"Derek, we're on our way, just hang in there a little bit longer," Teddy said, hanging up the phone and sprinting to the OR.

XxXxX

The dust of dust

We are the apple of God's eye

We are infinite

As the universe we hold inside

XxXxX

Derek insisted that Teddy, Owen, and Cristina allowed him to sit by Meredith's head during the surgery. He promised not to get in the way and eventually, they gave in. He positioned himself above her head the same way he had when she had donated her liver to her father, his hand absently stroking her hair and his eyes staying firmly planted on hers, despite the fact that they were closed.

He didn't notice the hours that passed. The only thing that broke him from his trance was Cristina placing her hand on his shoulder and telling him that the surgery went smoothly. He tore his eyes away from Meredith's face and looked up at Cristina.

"What about the baby?" He asked. She was silent for a moment and he was filled with anxiety. She slowly shook her head and his heart shattered in his chest. He covered his face with his hand and let everything that he had held back go.

Cristina rubbed his back softly as his body convulsed with sobs and he steadied his hand on his wife's head. His fingers ran through her hair and tears cascaded from his eyes as he sobbed.

"He... he killed... killed our baby... he killed it..." He cried, rocking back and forth in the chair. He sat and let all of his emotion and frustration and anger out for a few minutes, thankful for Cristina being there to comfort him and not judging him or trying to calm him down. He was thankful that she understood he just needed to get it out. When he finally calmed down, Cristina spoke softly.

"She's okay. She's going to be fine, and you can have another baby. You will have another baby. And she is okay. You will both get through this. Be thankful for that." She said. He nodded softly.

"She's okay."

XxXxX

With golden string

Our universe was brought to life

That we may fall in love

Every time we open up our eyes

XxXxX

 **Leave a review and let me know what you think.**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	2. Vows- 1

**Trigger Warning for this story: Heavy theme, major character death.**

 _"And if I get Alzheimer's and forget you..."_

 _"I will remind you who I am every day."_

They never expected it to actually happen. They had done the tests, they knew she had the gene, but everything else had gone wrong in their lives. This was the one thing they hoped didn't go wrong.

It started years after they had their third child. It was a simple day, not too sunny but not cloudy either. They were preparing for the day at work, getting dressed, feeding their kids breakfast, and getting them out the door to the bus stop.

Derek came in from sending them off and he saw the living room a mess. Meredith was kneeling in front of the couch, the cushions flung to the floor, looking flustered. He sighed, grabbing her car keys from their hook by the door.

"They're right here, honey." He said without asking what she was looking for. He tossed them at her and she caught them, startled.

"How- how did you.." She stuttered, and he sighed.

"This is the third time this week, Mer." He said softly. Her face fell. She looked up at him, tears rushing to her eyes.

"Oh, god..." she cried as realization washed over her. He was there in a moment, his arms wrapped around her as she cried into him.

"It's probably nothing, Mer. Let's not get worked up until we're sure." He said. She nodded and sniffled, wiping her face with her hand.

"Okay. Okay. Let's get to work." He said, helping her up and leading her to the car.

On the way there, it was silent. Meredith broke the silence as they pulled into the hospital parking lot.

"We talked about this. When we found out I had the gene." She said. He immediately knew what she was suggesting.

"No, Meredith. I am not going to put you down like a dog! The kids... they deserve more time with you. I want more time with you." He said, pulling the keys out of the ignition and pulling the door handle.

"I don't have any more time, Derek." She said. He heard her voice breaking and turned to look at her, a stunned expression on his face.

"Wh-what are you talking about?" He asked. She sniffled.

"This... has been happening for a long time. I've been forgetting things for months. It's just... gotten noticeable recently. I'm running out of time, Derek. I'm going to start forgetting bigger things soon, like names and faces. I don't... I don't want to forget you. I don't want to put our kids through what my mother put me through. I don't want them to look at me... and see a different person. I don't want that to be their last memory of me, Derek." She cried. He placed his hand on top of hers, tears in his own eyes.

"You didn't tell me." He said simply. Softly, gently, like if he spoke too loud the moment itself would shatter.

"I didn't want to believe it." She responded, unable to meet his gaze.

"We'll get the test. If it's positive... we will talk about this again." He started quietly, afraid if he said much more any louder he would risk the tears in his eyes falling onto his face. So, he stood, stepping out of the car and locking the door behind him. Meredith followed, walking beside him into the hospital and steadying herself. No one could know. She didn't want anyone to know.

"Don't say anything. To anyone. Not until we're sure." She said to him as they walked through the doors. He nodded, both of them walking in different directions to begin their daily activities.

XxXxX

Cristina was sitting in one of her patient's rooms, filling out a chart, when she saw movement down the hall. She was surprised, people didn't normally come around that part of the hospital that time of the day. She looked closer and saw that someone had just exited one of the exam rooms and had begun to walk down the hallway. It took her only a few moments to recognize her as Meredith.

She stood up, going to approach her friend, when Meredith suddenly turned and ducked into a supply closet. Cristina was beginning to get worried, so she stepped out of the room and approached the door, which had been hastily slammed shut. Down the hall, she saw Derek, sitting in the Exam room with his head cradled in one hand and a piece of paper in the other. She heard faint crying from behind the door.

Cristina slowly and gently opened the door to the supply closet. She saw her friend, sitting on the ground with her legs curled up to her chest, sobbing to herself. She immediately jumped down to sit with her, asking her what was wrong. It took Meredith a minute to compose herself enough to speak coherently.

"Do you remember... a long time ago, when I found out that I have the gene for Alzheimer's?" She said. Cristina's face fell. She felt her body deflate.

"Oh, no... Mer..." She felt tears in her eyes as she wrapped her arm around her best friend.

"Do you remember what I told you to do when I started forgetting my keys?" She asked, her voice weak from crying. Cristina closed her mouth tightly to stop herself from sobbing as Meredith's eyes met hers.

"I don't want to be Ellis Grey. I don't want my kids to remember me as the sad lady who can't remember their names. I don't want to look at Derek and not remember why I love him. I don't want to live in a nursing home with people feeding me and visiting me and sending me flowers. I want people to remember me for who I am. Not for who I'm going to become." She explained.

"Meredith..." Cristina started, not sure what she thought.

"I want this, Cristina. I want it more than anything else in my life right now. I want my family to be happy, even if I'm not there to see it." Meredith defended.

"But... they could find a cure tomorrow. Or the next day. Or in a week. Or a year. Then... this will all have been for nothing. You will have led you family with years of grief for nothing. Do you really want to do that?" Cristina asked. Meredith sighed.

"Cristina... I said that to my mom when she asked me to withdraw treatment. There haven't been that many new advances since then. Unless something miraculous happens-" Cristina interrupted her.

"Miracles do happen."

"Not to me, they don't." Meredith said bitterly. Cristina put her hand on top of her best friend's.

"Just... just wait. Wait a little while before you go. Give us a chance." Cristina argued.

"A chance to do what?" The blonde spat back.

"To... get used to the idea of saying goodbye to you." Cristina said softly. Meredith looked down at the ground, tears pooling in her eyes. Cristina laid her head on her friend's shoulder and they sat for a while together, neither of them daring to break the silence.

XxXxX

After she left the closet, Meredith went to the chief's office. She walked in and found Derek already talking to the chief. She looked at him accusingly and he only shook his head, giving her some relief.

"Dr. Grey. Are you here to ask for the day off too?" Richard asked. Meredith nodded, stepping further into the room and meeting her husband, who wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"And how can I be sure that you won't just spend the day messing around in an on call room?" The Chief narrowed his eyes at them. Meredith turned to Derek, giving him a meaningfull look with her eyes that he received and proceeded to leave the room.

Meredith took a seat in one of the chairs across from Richard.

"I got the results of the test I had done back today." She said. The chief's face lit up.

"You're pregnant again!" He shouted. Meredith shook her head.

"I got tested for Alzheimer's, Richard." She said suddenly. He raised his eyebrows.

"Well, what did it say?" He asked. She groaned.

"Do you think I would be asking for time off if it were negative?" She snapped. Richard deflated like a balloon. He ran his hand over his head and breathed slowly.

"What are you going to do?" He asked.

"I'm going to take today off and be with my husband. And tomorrow, I will spend the day with Cristina and Alex, most likely in a surgery. And the next day, I will announce it to everyone. And then, I will find a room in this hospital where I will surround myself with the people I love and take pills to stop my heart." She said calmly. Richard was shocked.

"You're going to do what?!" He half-shouted.

"I'm going to commit physician assisted suicide. I'm not letting myself become my mother. You may have loved her, but the pain that she put me through every time that she looked at me with emptiness in her eyes... I don't want my kids to remember me that way. So I'm not giving them a chance to." She explained.

"But, the disease hasn't even progressed yet! You've still got years of your life ahead of you!" Richard argued.

"I'm forgetting things already. All the time. So far it's only little things. Where I keep my keys, what time I need to wake up in the morning, and sometimes, patient names. Soon enough, I'll forget who my children are. And I will not do that to them, because I know... that the first time my mother asked me who I was... was just as painful as the last time... or any time before that." Meredith said slowly, trying to hold back her tears.

"So, Chief, I would like the rest of today off please." She finished. Richard nodded, refusing to look her in the eye as she stood and left the room, meeting Derek outside.

"I want to go home and spend the day with you and my children." She said, curling into his embrace. He nodded, placing a kiss on top of her head and leading her out to the car.

XxXxX

They spent the day playing with their children and spending time together, until they finally put the kids to bed and settled into their own bedroom.

"Derek..." She started, but he interrupted her by climbing on top of her and placing a kiss on her lips.

"Wait. Just wait, please. We need to do this first." He said softly, burying his face in her neck. Her laughter filled his ears and his heart, sending a shiver down his spine as he trailed kisses down her collarbone. He stopped suddenly and she looked at him worriedly.

"I just... I just realized that may be the last time I hear you laugh." He said softly, falling back down onto the bed. Tears filled his eyes as he looked at his wife.

"I want to hear you laugh. I want to hear you laugh every day of my life. I want to see you and touch you and hear you and smell you and taste you every day of the rest of my life. I don't want to lose you, Meredith. I don't want to say goodbye." He cried. She felt tears in her own eyes as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"I don't want to say goodbye either. But... I have to. I can't... I couldn't live with myself if I forgot why I love you. And if I don't do this... I won't be me. It may be my body, but it won't be me. In a way... I would be dead the moment I forgot who you were." She said softly.

"I'm not ready." He argued. She shook her head, placing her hand on his cheek.

"You never will be."

 **This is the first part of two.**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	3. Vows- 2

_"I'm not ready." He said._

"You never will be." She responded, entwining her hand in his. He placed his other hand on her face, wiping away the tear that fell from her eye and kissing her soft lips gently.

"I have Alzheimer's." She said softly to herself. Her eyes met his and filled with tears, the corners of her mouth dipping into a frown. The tears began to stream down her face and he moved closer to her, his hand staying firmly planted on her cheek.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. It's not your fault." He said softly as she began to sob quietly.

"It's just... that's the first time I've said it out loud and... I don't want it to be true." She cried. Derek rubbed her back slowly as she cried into his chest, placing his head on top of hers and kissing her scalp softly.

"You've still got time, Meredith. Lot's of time. You can't give up this... on us... yet. I'll find a cure. I'll find a way if it's the last thing I do." He said. She stopped for a moment, placing her hand on his chest and looking up into his eyes.

"What if you're too late?" She asked weakly. He sighed softly, cupping her face in his hand.

"I won't be."

XxXxX

Meredith stood in the hallway outside the main lobby of the hospital. Her head rested against the wall as she breathed slowly in and out and tried to get her heart to stop pounding out of her chest. She closed her eyes for a moment and was startled when she opened them again to see Derek, looking at her worriedly.

"I... I'm okay. Just... intimidated. Nervous." She said when placed his hand on her face the way he always did when she was upset. He clasped her hand in his and led her out of the hallway and into the lobby, where a large portion of the surgical staff waited anxiously for what she had to say.

"Don't worry. I can do the talking if you want." He said fear filled her eyes.

"No... I need to do this myself. Just... hold my hand please." She said, walking up the stairs to the first platform where the chief always made his speeches.

"If you need me to step in..." He assured her, and she nodded at him, her eyes lingering on his for a moment before she turned to address the crowd.

"Hello, everyone. Before I start, I want to thank everyone for being here. I know all of you have jobs you could be doing so it means a lot to me that so many people came." She said, smiling nervously as the crowd murmured to itself.

"Well, as hopefully everyone knows, my mother, Ellis Grey, died of Alzheimer's a few years ago. Now um... I..." She paused, struggling to find a way to get the words out as the crowd of surgeons and nurses became increasingly tense. Derek squeezed her hand to let her know he was still there. She locked eyes with Alex, who looked extremely concerned. Meredith sighed.

"Well, I'm just going to cut to the chase. I was diagnosed on Monday with early onset Alzheimer's. I inherited it from my mother and I started showing symptoms within the last few months. This may come as a shock to many of you. Well, it was a shock to me as well. Dr. Shepherd and I are choosing to restart our clinical trial in an attempt to stop this disease before it gets any worse, but I thought everyone should know." She said. Gasps washed through the crowd and people immediately burst into conversations.

"Thank you, everyone, for taking the time to listen. Have a nice day." She smiled fakely, clutching Derek's hand until her knuckles turned white. The crowd slowly dispersed, with the whole lobby full of stunned conversation. Meredith noticed a group of figures making their way towards her and looked to Derek for comfort. He placed a protective hand on her back as she prepared to face her friends.

Alex was at the front of the pack, his mouth open in shock and his eyes wide with disbelief. Behind him, Miranda Bailey, Callie Torres, and Arizona Robbins looked at her with similar expressions. There was a moment of silence when Alex just stood in front of her, staring at her, before he pulled her tiny body towards him and into a tearful and tight hug.

Callie, with Arizona by her side, immediately started talking with Derek about their trial and offered to help them if they ever needed an extra pair of hands or eyes. Derek thanked her and began to talk her through the logistics of the trial and the approach they planned to take.

Alex finally let go of Meredith after what seemed like an hour, both of their faces coated in tears. Meredith chuckled.

"I won't tell anyone you cried like a baby if you want." She said. He chuckled, pulling into a brief one-armed hug and placing a gentle kiss on top of her head.

"Alex?" She said softly. He pulled away and looked into her green eyes.

"Cristina and I are going to Joe's after work. You should come too. We'll get drunk and make inappropriate jokes about our problems and it'll be fun." She said. He smiled and nodded.

"Sounds like a blast. I'll see you then." He said, turning and walking back down the steps. Meredith looked up to see Derek staring at her.

"What?" She said when she noticed everyone else was staring as well.

"Should I be worried about him?" Derek said skeptically. Meredith sighed.

"Well, you're not worried that Cristina and I will leave you and Owen and run off to be lesbians together, are you?" She asked.

"Actually, that concern has crossed my mind more than a couple times. He looked at Callie and Arizona suddenly.

"No offense."

"None taken." She chuckled.

Derek, Callie, and Arizona went back to talking about the trial when Meredith noticed her mentor leaning on the railing of the stairs and staring at her.

"Do you have a speech? Because I could really use one of your speeches right about now." She said. Her son's namesake stood up and approached the skinny surgeon.

"You weren't always going to continue that trial, were you?" She asked. Meredith looked at the ground and slowly shook her head.

"What convinced you?" Bailey asked. Meredith looked up at Derek, talking enthusiastically about the upgraded virus. He didn't see her smiling at him, but she didn't mind. She turned back to Bailey.

"He... has a way with words. And I don't want to leave him, or anyone, just yet. If I've got a chance, I'm going to take it." She said. Miranda saw the way her eyes danced when she looked at her husband and smiled.'

"Well, you better not die on me, Grey. Not until I'm long gone from this hospital and you trouble-making interns." She said sassily.

"I can't believe there's only three of us left." Meredith shook her head. Bailey sighed.

"Just... don't leave me with the two mean ones. I can't handle that much backtalk alone." She sighed, checking her pager and walking back down the steps.

"Want to take a trip to the on-call room?" Derek asked after Callie and Arizona had left. She smiled up at him, allowing him to take her hand in his and lead her down the hallway.

"After you."

 _Two years later, Meredith and Derek concluded their clinical trial as a success. Their story traveled around the world and they were known as the couple who cured Alzheimer's. Meredith was relieved of her symptoms before they became life-altering and they both lived long, happy, Alzheimer's free lives._

 **I know the ending is cheesy and a little rushed but I really wanted to get this posted tonight and I didn't really know how to finish it. Happy New Year!**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	4. Shuffled- 1

**Trigger Warning: Violence, Some mild language, mature themes, major character injury and/or death.**

 **Cast: Season 8**

 **Premise: What if the roles were shuffled the day of the plane crash? What if Lexie wasn't the one crushed under the plane and Arizona wasn't the one with the injured leg?**

 **Enjoy.**

XxXxX

She had been asleep in his lap, the moment their world was shattered. Peacefully sleeping with no idea of the trauma she was about to experience. He had his hand on her hair, running his fingers through it absently as he stared out of the oval-shaped window. The clouds formed a barrier between them and the earth below, like a blanket covering the land.

There was a bump.

He thought nothing of it. Just turbulence, everything's fine. He went back to stroking her hair.

Another bump. Bigger.

A hint of worry buried itself in the back of his brain and he looked up at the other people on the plane. They all started looked around in the same confused manner.

The lights flickered.

He looked out the window and saw the peaceful blanket of clouds approaching fast. Meredith stirred in his arms. He made eye contact with Mark across the aisle.

A huge bump.

He was almost thrown from his seat as the cabin went dark. Meredith jumped up, looking around in confusion. Derek was frozen in fear as he saw the whites of her eyes glistening in the minimal light. She grabbed his shirt and clutched the fabric for dear life, staring out of the window in terror.

From the outside, it was almost graceful. The plane dipped slowly down and fell silently through the sky with no smoke or anything to show that something was wrong. The aircraft only plummeted downwards, breaking through the blanket of clouds in its dive towards the earth.

Inside the cabin, chaos reigned. Mark and Derek shouted for everyone to get down as Lexie, Cristina, and Arizona all dropped to the floor and covered their heads. Mark ran down the aisle to make sure everyone was okay. Meredith curled up in her seat and felt Derek leaning over her, shielding her with his body.

No one knew when the plane was going to hit the ground. They only sat in horrible anticipation as everything was silent. Lexie looked up and saw that Mark was still standing in the aisle at the back of the plane. She yelled at him to get down. Meredith clenched her eyes shut and focused on Derek's body against hers, feeling the ragged breaths going in and out of his body.

They heard crunching of metal and horrible crashing as everyone tensed up, feeling the heat of the fire as they were thrown from their seats. Lexie looked back to see if Mark had taken cover in time and saw that only the blue of the sky.

"The back of the plane! It's gone, Mark is gone, oh god!" She screamed, but no one heard her. Derek was only focused on Meredith's body under his. He felt her ripping from his grasp and held onto her for dear life, but she was sucked away from him. He looked up to find her but couldn't see anything in the chaos.

"Meredith!" He screamed, unable to hear his own voice. Cristina saw something fly past her as less of the plane became visible behind her, another chunk having broken off. She heard indistinct shouting and looked around her, seeing that Lexie and Arizona were still holding on for dear life. She clenched her eyes shut, her fingers digging into the carpeted floor as she prayed that everyone made it out okay.

What was remaining of the plane ground to a halt. Arizona slowly looked up to assess the damage. She saw that most of the front and back of the plane had detached, leaving just a small segment of the cabin where her, Lexie, and Derek all sat. She noticed the absence of Meredith, Cristina, and Mark, her stomach filling with dread.

Lexie was unconscious. Arizona almost envied her. Derek immediately stood up, stumbling down the aisle chanting Meredith's name to himself and searching with his eyes. He saw that she was gone and walked out the back of the plane, wandering through the forest and calling her name.

Arizona heard screaming, horrible, loud, feminine screaming as she slowly pulled Lexie out of the plane. Pain erupted from her left arm but she ignored it, dragged her wife's best friend's ex-girlfriend into a clearing in the forest.

"Lexie! Lexie, wake up! You don't get to sleep right now, wake the hell up!" She yelled, leaning over the brunette's face. Her eyes slowly fluttered open and looked around, becoming wide and filled with fear the longer she stared.

"You're not injured, just get up! We have to find Meredith and Cristina and Mark, come on, GET UP!" Arizona yelled. Lexie slowly sat up, grunting in pain as she looked down at the shard of glass in her thigh. She grabbed a piece of fabric laying on the ground a few feet away and pulled the shard out, wrapping the fabric around her leg to stop the bleeding.

"How long have I been out?" She asked, surprisingly calm as she looked up at Arizona, who had her arm dangling uselessly at her side.

"I...I don't know... I lost my shoe..." She said, almost as if she were drunk.

Screaming filled her ears and she looked around, her eyes landing on Cristina laying down near the front of the plane.

"I... I found Cristina.." She said, pointing towards the screaming surgeon. "But... but what about... Meredith and- and- and... and Mark? Where- Where are they? Did you... did you see them?" She asked, standing up slowly and scanning the forest for any sign of life.

"I... I don't know... I lost a shoe..." Arizona rambled, staring down at her definitely shoe-less foot.

"What happened?" Lexie asked, taking a few steps further into the clearing. She caught sight of Derek, wandering through the wreckage and calling her sister's name.

"The plane crashed! We were going to Idaho on a plane and it crashed. PLANE CRASH!" Arizona yelled.

"Where is Mark?! Where's Meredith, Derek? WHERE are they?!" Lexie screamed, tears in her eyes.

"I had her in my arms. I was holding her... and then she was gone. I... I think she fell into the back of the plane." Derek called from the other side of the clearing. Lexie's heart pounded in her chest.

"I DON'T SEE THE BACK OF THE PLANE, DEREK!" She screamed, tears running down her face.

"Shut up! Shut up, Shut UP!" Arizona screamed at Cristina, who stopped screaming and looked at the three of them.

"Something flew by my head. Right before the back of the plane broke off, something flew by me." She said. Just then, they heard a constant banging sound from the top of a hill behind them.

"Does anybody hear that sound?" Cristina asked. All four surgeons looked at each other for a moment before the three standing ones took off in the direction of the hill.

"Arizona! Wait!" Cristina yelled, grabbing hold of the pediatric surgeon's ankle before she could run past her. "Help me up. Hurry, help me up!" She ordered. Arizona grabbed her by the arms and pulled her away from the plane, stopping once they were a couple feet away. Cristina tried to stand but screamed in pain as her leg crumpled under her.

"Yang, your leg is broken. You can't go anywhere, I'm sorry." Arizona said. The heart surgeon dropped backward to lay on the ground, groaning in frustration as Arizona ran to go find her best friend.

Meanwhile, Mark woke up slowly. He heard Lexie screaming his name and raised his head, looking around, disoriented. He tried to get up but quickly realized that it was no use. Something was holding him down. He turned and froze, his eyes going wide.

His hand was stuck in a chunk of metal from the plane.

 **So... we've located every character but Meredith. Most of you probably know where she is by now. Don't give up hope yet, though. This story isn't going to follow the same path as the episode did. Buckle up, my friends. ;)**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	5. Shuffled- 2

**Here's Part Two, enjoy!**

 **XxXxX**

Derek ran through the forest towards the banging noise. It was either Meredith or Mark, he would be happy to find either of them alive. Lexie was behind him, limping slightly from the laceration in her leg. He stopped when he reached the top of the hill and saw only a huge portion of the plane, but no life.

The banging continued and he spotted a mangled arm reaching out from under the plane, slamming a seatbelt buckle against the metal over and over again. He ran towards it, diving to the ground to find the source of the arm.

"Meredith! Oh, god, oh no, no no no..." He shouted, seeing his wife crushed under the plane and covered in her own blood. Her eyes were barely open and her lips were slightly parted, showing off her blood-stained teeth. She breathed slowly and raspily, taking more than a few moments to recognize Derek sitting in front of her.

"Der... Derek..." She smiled weakly. Her hand slowly reached up and he took it in his, squeezing it tightly and trying to figure out how he could help her.

"What is it?" Lexie called, reaching the top of the hill. Derek turned around to look at her, his eyes filled with urgency. Her face fell and he shook his head slowly, turning back to Meredith with tears in his eyes as Lexie rushed over.

"NO! No, no no no no no no no no!" She cried, falling to her knees in the soil. Meredith looked at her weakly, a small smile forming on her face.

"You're both... alive..." She smiled. Derek reached forward and placed his hand on her head, stroking her hair as she looked past them to see if anyone else was coming.

"Cr... Cristina?" She asked worriedly.

"She's fine. Her leg is broken, so she can't come up here." Lexie said, having heard Arizona talking to Cristina on her way up the hill. Meredith let out a shaky sigh.

"What... What about Mark? And... Arizona?" She asked. Lexie looked at the ground.

"Arizona's okay. She lost a shoe and I think she dislocated her shoulder, but she's fine." She said. Derek looked at Lexie worriedly.

"Mark?" Meredith asked, concern filling her eyes. Derek looked back at his wife and squeezed her hand again.

"We... haven't found him yet." He said. Meredith's face fell. She slipped her hand out of Derek's grip and reached for Lexie, grabbing onto her sister's arm with her bloody hand.

"He's okay. I just know it, Lexie. He's going to be okay." She said softly. Lexie finally met her gaze.

"Run it down, Mer." She said. Meredith looked down at where her legs normally would be but instead only saw the plane.

"Both of my legs are crushed up to my thighs. I can barely feel my other arm, but I think it's bleeding because I feel liquid on my hand. I might have internal injuries because I've been coughing up blood. And... it really hurts." She said. Derek took her hand again, tears pouring down his face.

"You're going to be fine. Help is on the way, just hold on a bit longer. Please, Meredith, just keep breathing for a little while longer." He said. She looked up at him, a tear falling from her eye over her nose and down her cheek. A tiny amount of blood dribbled from her lips as she coughed, squeezing his hand and looking into his bright blue eyes.

"I love you, Derek." She said simply, another tear streaming down her face. He placed his hand on her cheek, the tips of his fingertips reaching into her blood-soaked hair.

"Meredith, you are not dying. Just hold on a little bit longer, please!" He cried, caressing her face like he was afraid she would slip away from him again. She coughed up a little bit more blood and let tears roll down her cheeks.

"If I'm not dying... why are you crying?" She asked, her breathing becoming more shallow as she sucked in as much air as she could with each breath.

"Don't die on me, Meredith! You're going to be fine, just don't stop fighting. Help is coming, just keep holding on." He avoided her question, focusing on holding her hand and wiping the tears from her face.

"Derek... I love you... more... than anything. Tell Cristina that she's still my person... even if I'm not... hers." She cried, ignoring him insisting she wasn't dying.

"Lexie... you're the best sister... I could've asked for... and Mark is... missing out... on a great girl. You tell him... he's an idiot... if he doesn't take you...back" She said, gesturing weakly with her hand, which was still clasped in Derek's.

Derek kissed her hand and let tears drench his face, having given up on convincing her she wasn't dying. He prayed that someone would find them soon before he lost the most important thing in his life.

"To love each other... even when we hate each other." Meredith started to recite. Derek looked up at her, his blue eyes meeting her green ones as tears soaked both of their faces. "No running. Ever." She continued, never breaking eye contact with him.

"Take care when old, senile, and smelly." She said, her hand beginning to go limp in his. "And... it's..." Her hand relaxed in his grip and her eyes fluttered closed.

"Forever." Derek dropped his head so it was laying on top of her hand. His body shook with sobs as Lexie cried next to him. His other hand brushed the hair away from Meredith's eyes shakily.

"No... no, no no... come back to me, please... don't leave me..." He sobbed into her hand. Just then, rustling in the leaves behind them caused both doctors to look up. They gasped when they saw Mark standing at the top of the hill, holding his hand to his chest.

"Lexie! I knew I heard your voice! I thought I was in heaven..." He said almost drunkenly before crumbling to the ground. Lexie looked between Mark and Meredith quickly, her gaze finally resting on Derek as if asking him to decide who she should help.

"Go! I'll stay with your sister, go save my brother!" He said, gesturing with his head towards the man that may as well have been his brother. Lexie reached under the plane and touched her sister's face for a moment as if she were transferring her strength through her hand. Then she jumped up, running as fast as she could with her injury toward the fallen plastic surgeon.

Slowly, he closed Meredith's mouth, which was hanging open. His heart leaped when he felt the tiniest woosh of air on his shaking hand.

"She's still alive." He said, still shocked himself. The neurosurgeon's eyes were wide as he reached under the chunk of the place and checked his wife's pulse.

"It's thready, but it's there. It's there, and she's breathing..." He said softly to himself. Derek chuckled shakily. He rested his head on top of his hands, clutched around her own cold one.

"She's alive." He whispered to himself.

XxXxX

Lexie was relieved to find that Mark's only major injury was his hand, which had turned a horrible shade of purple. She grabbed a blanket that had been strewn on the ground from someone's luggage and wrapped it around him, using it to slowly and carefully pull him back down the hill and towards the main cabin.

She saw Cristina sitting on the ground but couldn't meet her gaze. Looking around for Arizona, she grabbed a bag off of the ground a few feet away and unzipped it, pulling out a long pair of leggings and a roll of duct tape. She didn't question why the owner of the luggage packed duct tape because she was just thankful that they did.

"Did you find Meredith?" Cristina asked when Lexie didn't start a conversation. The brunette turned to look at her, trying to keep the pain out of her eyes. She nodded weakly, turning back to Mark so that Cristina wouldn't see her crying.

"Is she okay? Is she alive? Where's Derek?" Cristina urged. Lexie sighed, wrapping the leggings tightly around Mark's hand to form a makeshift cast and then wrapping a layer of duct tape on top of it to hold it tight. Mark slowly opened his eyes, groaning in pain as Lexie finished the wrapping.

"Cristina, where's Arizona?" Lexie asked.

"I'm up here! I found a flare gun and some water bottles!" Arizona called from the cabin. Mark became fully aware of his surroundings and sat up, looking around and identifying Cristina and Arizona's voice. He remembered seeing Derek at the top of the hill and looked up at Lexie.

"Where's Meredith?" He asked. Cristina looked at her as well, worry planting itself in the pit of her stomach. Arizona jumped down out of the cabin, three large water bottles and a bright orange flare gun in her arms.

"You haven't found her yet?" Mark asked when Lexie wouldn't meet his gaze. Lexie sighed.

"We found her..." Her voice broke and everyone was silent as a tear streamed down her face.

"No..." Mark said, looking back up at the top of the hill, where Derek lay with his head resting on top of a mangled arm reaching out from under a huge chunk of the plane. Cristina was shaking as her hand reached up to cover her mouth and tears flooded to her eyes.

Arizona decided that she had to keep everyone distracted if they were going to stay alive. She picked up the flare gun and handed it to Lexie.

"Here. Put the flare inside like... this... and then load it. If we hear a helicopter, we fire that straight up in the air." She said, placing a charge in Lexie's severely shaking hand. The younger Grey did as she was instructed, loading the gun and placing it down on the ground near the center of their small gathering.

"Oh, thank god! Matches!" Arizona said, grabbing the small box out of the bag that Lexie had opened. Again, no one questioned why whoever packed the bag had matches and duct tape. "We should start a fire. They'll see a fire and it'll be warm." She said.

"Derek! We need to start a fire! You have to help!" Arizona called. Lexie stood up, shaking her head and offering her hand to take the matches.

"Look, I'll figure out how to make it." She said. Arizona shook her head.

"No, he doesn't get to do this. He doesn't get to stop helping. I get that he lost Meredith, but she was your sister, and you're still helping. He has to help because we can't all die out here, Derek!" She said, stomping up the hill towards Derek, who hadn't moved since they started talking.

"Derek, get up! Get up and help, Derek!" She said, reaching the neurosurgeon and shaking his shoulder. Her heart dropped into her stomach when he didn't move and she noticed his eyes were barely hanging open and his breathing was raspy.

"Derek? Oh, no. Please be okay, please be okay..." She whispered, turning him over so that he was laying on his back. His jaw fell open loosely and he looked around groggily. Arizona used her injured hand to hold one side of her shirt and her uninjured one to rip it open, her eyes going wide.

Derek's chest had been colored in varying shades of dark purple from the blood leaking out of his heart.

XxXxX

 **So Meredith is alive but severely injured and Derek has internal bleeding... Will they be rescued in time? The next chapter should be up soon!**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	6. Shuffled- 3

**Two chapters in one day because I'm bored. This one's a long one. ;)**

XxXxX

Owen Hunt was sitting in the conference room working on paperwork when he decided to check his answering machine. It was the first free minute he had that day, with six of his best surgeons flying to Idaho to assist with a conjoined twin separation. He pressed the button to play the first message.

"Good morning, Dr. Hunt, this is Dr. Sheehan over at Boise Memorial, I was just calling to double check what time your surgeons were set to arrive today." The first message said. He pressed the button for the next message to play. It was the same number.

"Dr. Hunt... still no word from your surgeons. I'm going to check in with the airport to see if the weather held them up." The same voice said. He pulled out his cell phone and checked his messages to see if anyone had texted him about a delay. He had nothing from any of the surgeons since Cristina had texted him that they were taking off, over four hours ago. The next message played and he looked up to see if it was confirmation that his doctors had arrived safely.

"This is Dr. Sheehan again. We're starting to get a bit concerned here." He leaned forward, his eyebrows furrowed as he read what time the message was left. It was three hours after the text he had gotten from Cristina. They should've been at the hospital by then, even if the plane was delayed.

He quickly pressed the redial button and waited for the line to pick up.

"Dr. Hunt! I've been waiting for a call from you. Are your doctors coming or do we need to find someone else to assist?" The same voice said. His heart dropped into his stomach.

"Uh, Dr. Sheehan, I got a text from one of my doctors four hours ago that said the plane was taking off, are they not there yet?" He asked nervously.

"No, they haven't arrived yet. You should try calling them, make sure they made it here." She said, hanging up the phone. Owen ran his fingers through his hair. He didn't want to worry yet. Maybe they just stopped for dinner and forgot to tell him.

He dialed Cristina's number. It went straight to voicemail. He tried Derek. The same thing. Every one of their phones went to voicemail without ringing. He was definitely worried. Next, he called the airport in Boise, Idaho.

"Hello, this Owen Hunt of Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital. I was calling to make sure that a group of surgeons I sent made it to Boise on time." He said, trying to keep the worry from his voice. He heard the crackling and indistinct voices and then the line cleared again.

"I'm sorry, sir, but we haven't received any flights from Seattle today." A lady said in a kind voice. He sighed.

"Alright, thank you, ma'am. I will call the other airport and see if they were delayed." He said, hanging up. He didn't call the airport, though.

The next number he called was 9-1-1.

XxXxX

"Oh, crap. Lexie!" Arizona yelled as soon as the purple color of Derek's chest registered in her vision. She looked around for anything to help her and caught sight of Meredith, completely colorless and covered in blood under the plane. She closed her eyes and sighed, grabbing the nearest piece of fabric and reaching to cover the blonde's face.

Meredith stirred, groaning in pain as she opened her eyes slightly and curled her fingers into a fist when she felt that Derek's hands had left hers. Arizona gasped, dropping the fabric and jumping back from the body she thought was dead.

"Meredith! Oh, my god, you're alive!" She cried as Lexie came up to the top of the hill.

"What?!" She almost screamed, limping over to her sister. Arizona checked her pulse and laughed to herself.

"Meredith!" Lexie cried, falling to her knees when she reached the plane. She looked around for Derek and saw him laying on the ground with a severely discolored chest. Lexie took her sister's hand in his absence.

"Der... Derek?" Meredith slurred, still disoriented from the pain and confusion. Lexie felt tears in her eyes, but instead of tears of grief, they were tears of happiness.

"Meredith, it's me, Lexie, it's Little Grey." She said, seeing her sister slowly turn her head to face her. She smiled weakly.

"Little Grey..." She chuckled, choking on the blood in her mouth and sputtering for a few seconds.

"Meredith, help is on the way. Just hold on a little longer." Lexie said when Arizona stood up to help Derek. Meredith woke up a bit more and looked around confusedly.

"Where... Where's Derek?" She slurred. Lexie looked over at the man laying on the ground a few feet away and sighed.

"He's uh... he's building a fire. He's down there building a fire for Cristina and Mark. Yeah, they're all alive, everyone's fine. We're all going to be fine." Lexie assured her. A tear fell from her eye when she saw Meredith's smile.

"That's good. That's... so good." She smiled. Lexie nodded. Suddenly, Cristina's shouted caused her to look up from her sister. She looked at Arizona, who had the same worried look on her face.

"You have two arms. Go help. I'll stay here." Arizona said, taking Lexie's place holding Meredith's hand.

"Hey, Meredith. I know we don't talk much. I feel like that's going to change when we get out of here, though." Arizona said, doing anything to fill the confused silence. Cristina's words became clearer in her mind and she shot her head up to look down the hill.

"Chopper! Chopper, there's a helicopter!" Cristina screamed. Arizona was relieved to see Lexie grabbing the loaded flare gun and pointing it at the sky. She held her breath as she watched her pull the trigger. The flare shot up into the sky, exploding in a red burst of light hundreds of feet up.

"Fire it again, fire it again!" Mark was yelling as Lexie loaded another flare into the barrel. She aimed it at the sky again and pulled the trigger, watching as a mesmerizing burst of fire and light exploded like a firework in the air.

The sound of helicopter blades whirring came closer and closer until it was almost on top of them as the wind whipped their face. Meredith raised her hand weakly to shield her face and Arizona did the same as a helicopter came in to land on the ground not too far away.

"They're here, help is here! Meredith, they're gonna help us, they're gonna save you and you're going to be just fine." Arizona said, turning back to the other blonde surgeon. Her hand had dropped from her face and her eyes had closed.

"Meredith? Meredith?!" She said, reaching under the metal to check her pulse. Her fingers felt nothing.

"Help! Help, please! She's dying, please help me!" She screamed at the top of the lungs to the paramedics loading out of the helicopter. It dawned on her then that they had been looking for them. They were prepared, and they would save them.

The paramedics rushed up the hill and saw the two unconscious surgeons, motioning for the search and rescue representatives to come over there. One of them, a male with brown hair hidden under a helmet with a microphone attached to it, ran over to Arizona.

"Please help her! She's dying, her pulse is gone, you have to help her!" She cried. The paramedic placed his hands gently on her shoulders to get her attention.

"Ma'am, can you please tell me what happened?" He asked. She sighed, tears in her eyes.

"The plane crashed! It broke into pieces and it crashed! And Meredith got crushed, we thought she was dead, but then she woke up and now she's dying again!" She cried. The paramedic rubbed her shoulders calmingly and she breathed deeply.

"What's your name, ma'am?" He asked. She sucked in a shaky breath.

"My name is Arizona Robbins. We're all doctors, we were on the way to Idaho for a surgery." She said. The man nodded.

"Okay, Arizona, my name's Micheal. Is there anyone else here? Is anyone else injured?" he asked. She nodded.

"There's six of us. Meredith got sucked out the back of the plane when it came off. She's that one." Arizona pointed to Meredith, who search and rescue were in the process of pulling the plane off of.

"Okay, Arizona, and who is the man on the ground right there?" Micheal asked calmly.

"Derek. Derek Shepherd. He was fine, he was walking around, but we left him alone with Meredith when we thought she was dead, and I don't know how long he's been like that. Meredith's his wife, he loves her more than he loves himself." Arizona rambled. Micheal nodded, taking out a notepad and scribbling messy words on it with a pen.

"Cristina, Mark, Lexie, and the Pilot, Jerry, are down there. Cristina has a broken leg and Mark's hand is really badly injured, I think it got stuck in the plane. Lexie had a piece of glass in her leg, but she took it out and bandaged it. Jerry is bleeding from his head and he has a spinal injury but I gave him C-spine stabilization." Arizona explained, pointing to the clearing where the three surgeons waited anxiously.

Lexie had sat down next to Mark after she fired the flare, sighing in relief as they watched the helicopter land.

"Lexie..." Marl started, turning to look at her. She couldn't meet his gaze.

"Look, I put you in a really bad position the other day, and I shouldn't have. I made a fool of myself and I'm-" Mark cut her off by leaning in and placing his lips on hers. She gasped in surprise but quickly leaned into him, her eyes closing in pleasure. He pulled away a second later.

"I love you, too. I've always loved you. I've just been denying it because I thought I was bad for you. But, seeing Derek laying there with Meredith even when he was actually dying... it gave me a new perspective. We can't waste any more time denying ourselves, Lexie." He said, his face only inches from hers. She smiled at him.

"Thank god." She laughed.

"We've got three more non-emergent down there!" Micheal yelled toward the helicopter, which Derek had been loaded onto a stretcher and brought towards. Arizona heard shouting as the plane was pulled off of Meredith and paramedics rushed in to try to resuscitate her. Arizona heard Michael asking more questions but didn't understand him as she stared at the woman pumping Meredith's heart and the man holding to Ambu bag to her nose and mouth.

They quickly loaded her onto a stretcher and Arizona saw the extent of her injuries. Her legs were both completely purple and in some places turning black and she had a huge laceration on her left arm, not to mention multiple broken bones in the single arm alone. Arizona's heart pounded in her chest as they rushed to load her into the helicopter and hook her up to all kinds of machines that she didn't have the strength to remember the names of.

"Arizona? Arizona!" Michael got her attention and she shook herself out of her daze.

"What happened to your arm?" He asked. She looked down, having forgotten that her arm was even in a sling after Lexie had popped it back into its socket.

"I dislocated it... somehow, I think it was when I dragged Lexie out of the plane." She said. Michael nodded, turning and seeing that everyone else had already been loaded into the helicopter.

"Okay, Arizona, we're going to take you to the closest hospital now, alright?" He asked her. She nodded, following him into the helicopter, where Lexie, Mark, and Cristina were all freaking out.

"Meredith's alive?! Oh, god, Meredith's alive!" Cristina cried.

"What's wrong with Derek? Why can't I see him, he was fine, what happened?!" Mark was yelling.

"We can't fly! You can't make us fly, our freaking plane just crashed!" Lexie was arguing. A bulky looking man dressed in military attire closed the door and stepped into the middle of the floor.

"Everybody calm down!" He shouted. All of the surgeons stopped taking abruptly and looked at him. He sighed.

"I understand you're not comfortable with flying. Unfortunately, it's the only option if you want to save your friends here. We can offer anesthesia if you want it, but we don't have much else." He said. Lexie nodded when a paramedic asked her if she wanted to be sedated. Mark said no and continued trying to get through the thick crowd of people trying to help Derek and Meredith.

Cristina refused as well, turning over and burying her face in the pillow on the bed they had placed her in. Arizona asked to be sedated as they helped her onto a bed behind Cristina and someone began to inspect her arm.

The helicopter slowly lifted off the ground and Mark and Cristina both stared at each other, fear filling their eyes. Mark's mind flashed back to when he had stood in the middle of the aisle making sure everyone was taking cover and forgetting to protect himself. His brain told him it was useless because everyone had been taking cover anyway and Meredith and Derek were still hurt, and he could have saved his hand from the many surgeries it would most likely take to get him full function back if he had just worried about himself instead of everybody else for one second.

Cristina's chest jumped up and down as the ground moved further and further away and she remembered seeing Meredith's body fly past her head and not being able to help her. She remembered clawing at the carpet at the bottom of the plane but losing the fight anyway, getting pulled out of the plane just before it stopped and hearing the bone in her leg cracking even over the roar of the plane's engines and the fire.

Mark quickly ran over to a bed in an attempt to stop the unsteady feeling under his feet before he realized it was the movement of the helicopter and he couldn't stop it. He motioned wordlessly for the nearest paramedic to sedate him and found relief when they placed the mask over his face and he was plunged into sleep.

Cristina felt tears streaming down her face as she looked around for anyone to help her.

"SOMEBODY SEDATE ME!" She screamed, quoting herself from when she had a miscarriage years and years ago. A terrified looking paramedic rushed over and placed an oxygen mask over her face as she slowly breathed in the gas and waited for sleep to overcome her.

XxXxX

Hours later, all of the surgeons had been dropped off at Boise Memorial hospital and given their own rooms. Derek and Meredith were taken straight to the OR while the four other doctors had their injuries tended to and then were left to rest.

Cristina woke up to find Owen by her bedside, looking worriedly at the thick cast on her leg. She placed her hand on top of his and he jumped, turning to look at her and smiling. He kissed her forehead and she wrapped her arms around him, sobbing quietly into his chest.

"We thought Meredith was dead... We thought she was dead, Owen, and I told her she wasn't my person anymore..." She cried. He stroked her hair soothingly, letting her just get it out and thankful that she was at least talking about and not shutting him out.

Mark opened his eyes and saw Julia standing over him. Her face lit up when she saw he was awake.

"I had to fight them to let me in. They said I wasn't family." She said, grabbing onto his hand.

"It's not fair. You don't deserve... You deserve better." He croaked. She looked at him, confused.

"Stop it. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, Mark." She smiled at him. "I love you." She said. He sighed, feeling horrible that he was about to break her heart.

"I love Lexie. I'm sorry." He said. The smile on her face died and hurt filled her eyes. She ripped her hand away from him and jumped up from the bed.

"You mean the girl you told me not to worry about? The girl you told me you were done with? The girl you told me you were over?!" She shouted. He sighed.

"Julia..." She scoffed.

"I'm done. I'm cannot believe I flew all the way to dump truck, Idaho for you and this is how you thank me!" She yelled, storming out of the room. He closed his eyes and told himself over and over that it was the right thing, that he would be happy with Lexie. He knew he loved Lexie more than anyone else and he prayed that would be enough to get them through anything that was thrown their way.

Arizona was staring into the dark brown eyes of her wife when she woke up. She was flushed with relief as Callie wrapped her arms around her, careful not to disturb the sling around her arm. Arizona's eyes filled with tears of joy as she returned Callie's embrace, sobbing over her shoulder and smelling her familiar perfume.

"I was so worried. I thought I lost you..." Callie cried. They both comforted each other until eventually, Arizona fell back asleep in her wife's arms.

Lexie woke up and was surprised to see a familiar face sitting in her room, with Zola sleeping on his lap. She cleared her throat and got his attention.

"Alex?" She asked. He looked up at her, distracted from his staring down the hall and waiting for news from the ORs.

"Hey. You're awake." He said, getting up and walking over to her bed with Zola on his hip. She shook her head at him.

"Why are you in my room?" She asked. He shrugged.

"Because... Hunt's hogging Cristina and Mer's in surgery. Plus you looked pretty lonely in here, so I thought I'd sit here until you woke up." He said. She chuckled.

"Alex Karev, performing an act of kindness? I would never have guessed." She laughed. He shrugged again.

"Look, I'm honestly just here because your room's the closest to the ORs and Bailey and Webber took up all the extra space they had. If you want to get all sappy about it, I can go to the waiting room." He defended. She scoffed.

"Aaaand you ruined it. Just give me my niece." She said, reaching her arms out. Alex lifted the toddled and placed her on Lexie's lap, where she sleepily wrapped her arms around her aunt's abdomen like a Koala.

"Hey, Zo-Zo. Aunt Lexie's here. Yeah... mommy and daddy are going to be just fine." She said softly to the sleeping child. Alex half-smiled at her.

"Listen, uh, everyone else should be waking up soon, so if you want to see Mark..." He said. Lexie nodded at him.

"Thanks. For staying with me and all. And yes, I would like to see him when he wakes up." She said.

XxXxX

 **So, they're saved! Meredith and Derek are getting the care they need and everyone else is alive and awake! This will probably end up being a 5 chapter story unless I decide to make the next chapter really long.**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	7. Shuffled- 4

**Here's the next chapter :)**

XxXxX

"Derek? Derek!" Meredith's voice called out to him. He opened his eyes slowly. He recognized the room he was in. It was their bedroom in the dream house. He was laying on the bed, with Meredith on the other side. She was looking at him worriedly.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, reaching out to touch him as if she didn't believe he was real. He sat up and looked around. Everything was just as he had designed it and was in the process of building. It was exactly as he had imagined it.

"Derek?" Meredith asked. He turned to her. His eyes met hers. He felt his heart crumbling as he realized what was happening.

"We're..." He stuttered. She shook her head.

"Not dead. Just unconscious. Why... why are you here?" She asked again. He sighed, trying to think of the last thing he remembered before he passed out.

"Something in my chest. One second, I was laying there with you, I was fine, and the next, my chest started hurting really bad and I couldn't think straight, I felt light-headed. Now... I'm here." He said. Meredith clenched her eyes shut.

"What about Zola? What happens to her if we both die?" She asked softly. He sat up and moved closer to her, reaching out and placing his hand on her face.

"Hey, hey, don't think about that. That's not going to happen. We are both going to fight like hell to make sure that doesn't happen, alright?" He said. She nodded. He leaned in and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

She closed her eyes, resting her forehead on his chest. His hands played with her hair absently. Her hands wrapped around him.

"Meredith..." He started. She heard the tone in his voice and looked up into his eyes, which had filled with tears.

"No. Don't you dare feel guilty for this. You did everything. _Everything_. There was nothing you could have done to help me, do you hear me? _Nothing_. I will not allow you to think any of this was your fault." She said. He shook his head.

"I...I could have held on harder, I let you slip through my fingers..." He cried, staring down at his hands as if they were traitorous. Meredith placed her hands on his cheeks, forcing him to look into her eyes.

" _No one_ could have stopped what happened." She said firmly, failing to stop her voice from breaking as tears flooded to her eyes.

"It would hurt me more than any physical injury to know that you're blaming yourself for this." She said. He closed his eyes for a moment and nodded. He opened his eyes again and kissed her, inhaling her scent and trailing kisses down to the spot on her neck that he knew made her crazy.

"Derek!" She yelped as he licked her, a smile on his lips as he tasted her skin. She squirmed under him but did nothing to stop him as he moved to the other side of her neck, finding the crease of her collarbone and pressing his lips against it gently.

"I love you." He almost whispered.

"I love you too." She said, her voice strained as she lifted her head up to expose her entire neck. He brushed his nose against her skin and placed his arms on her shoulders as he shifted to kiss the middle of her neck. She tensed up, holding her breath as he bit her.

" _Derek_!" She screeched, erupting into giggles. He smiled against her, suddenly feeling exhausted. He rolled off of her and she sat up, looking at him worriedly.

"Derek?" She asked. He blinked groggily. "Derek?! Derek!" She called out to him, but her voice was distant and he was already being pulled into a sleep that he couldn't escape.

XxXxX

Derek slowly opened his eyes, feeling like an anvil had been dropped on his chest. He breathed deeply, looking around the unfamiliar room and searching his brain for any memory of her he could have gotten there. He registered Lexie and Mark standing over him and smiled at them. He saw the cast on Mark's hand and everything came flooding back all at once.

 _'Get down! Cover your head, everybody!'_

 _Meredith slipping out of his arms._

 _'MEREDITH!"_

 _Cristina's screaming as he stumbled around searching for her._

 ** _Bang, bang, bang, bang._**

 _The drumming of the seatbelt against the plane._

 _The mangled arm reaching for him._

 _Her green eyes, filled with pain, looking into his._

 _The blood dribbling down her chin._

 _'To love each other... even when we hate each other...'_

 _The sound of her sweet voice._

 _Lexie sobbing next to him._

 _'No running. Ever.'_

 _Her hand relaxing in his._

 _Seeing the color draining from her skin._

 _'Take care when old, senile, and smelly.'_

 _Her skin going cold under his touch._

 _Her eyes fluttering closed._

 _'And... it's...'_

 _Her hand dropping to the ground._

 _'Forever.'_

He felt hands on top of his as breaths jumped in and out of his body. His eyes darted around, wide with fear. Looking for her.

"Mer... Meredith..." He said, remembering his very-real-seeming encounter with his wife and pushing Mark and Lexie's arms away as they tried to stop him from sitting up. Mark pushed him firmly down on the bed, holding his shoulders against the mattress and forcing him to look into his eyes.

"Meredith is in surgery. You can't see her now because you've just had major heart surgery. Now, lay down on the bed and relax." He said in a commanding voice. Chills erupted across Derek's entire body and grief tied his stomach in knots.

He closed his eyes and tried to breathe. Alex Karev walked into the room.

"Is he still not awake yet? Zola's been asking for him for hours. She's getting really cranky." He said.

Derek's eyes shot open at the mention of his daughter's name and he saw her holding onto Alex's hand in the doorway. His heart melted when she saw him.

"Daddy!" She cried, running towards him as fast as she could on her stumpy little legs. Mark gave Derek a look that said _get up from that bed and I will break your jaw, heart surgery or not_ , leaning down and scooping the toddler up in his arms.

He placed the little girl in her father's lap, where she quickly wrapped her arms around him. He scrunched his face up in pain as she leaned right against his incision. Lexie noticed this and gently pulled the tiny tot off of him.

"Zola, daddy has a boo-boo in his heart, so we can't hug him too tight or we could hurt him, okay?" Lexie said in a soft voice. Zola pouted.

"Boo-boo?" She asked, turning to look back at where she had hugged him. Lexie nodded. The little girl placed her fingers over her mouth and kissed them, reaching out and touching Derek's chest lightly.

"Kiss-it-better?" She asked, remembering what her mother always did when she would fall. The doctors in the room all smiled at her. Derek grabbed her tiny hand and held it in his.

"Yes, Zola. I feel all better now."

XxXxX

Half an hour later, Miranda Bailey walked out of the OR and towards Derek's hospital room, where all of the survivors plus Alex, Owen, Callie, and Zola were gathered. She stepped in the door and all eyes turned to her, hungry for answers.

Zola was asleep on Derek's lap, having been tired out from the plane ride and the following chaos. Cristina's broken leg had been scanned and put in a boot and she was able to walk. Arizona's arm had been given a real sling and Mark had a full cast on his hand.

No one had dared to say anything about the crash. The only information they disclosed was that the plane crashed and Mark and Meredith had been separated, and they found Meredith crushed under the plane. The visitors didn't even know what kind of injuries Meredith had, only that they were severe.

"Callie... can I talk to you? In the hall?" Bailey said softly, unable to meet anyone's eyes. Callie looked at Arizona, who couldn't think of anything but the horrible color that Meredith's legs had been when she saw her. The blonde nodded, giving her permission to leave. She jumped up from the seat and joined her colleague in the hallway.

"The bones in Meredith's legs are... _pulverized_ ," Miranda said as calmly as she could. Callie sighed as sadness washed over her. She turned around and made painful eye contact with Derek in the bed, her heart breaking as she looked at the child in his lap.

"You are the _only_ person on this earth that I can think of that can save this poor girl's legs. _Please_ , if there is _anything_ you can do, _do it_." Bailey said. Callie opened her mouth to tell her that there was nothing she could do, but Miranda was giving her _the look_. She sighed.

"I'll scrub in and see if there's a chance." She gave in. Everyone in the hospital room looked at each other in confusion as she ran towards the OR and Bailey walked back in to update them.

"Dr. Torres is going to scrub in and see what can be done to save Meredith's legs." She said. Derek sighed shakily, his hand running through his hair. Cristina looked at Arizona.

"Thank you." She said. Arizona shook her head.

"For what?" She asked.

"You married her! She wouldn't be here if it weren't for you." Cristina said. Arizona chuckled.

"I just hope there's something she can do. She's good. She's one of the best but... if there's nothing there, there's nothing there."

Derek gulped.

XxXxX

 **This is going to be a long Author's Note because I have a _lot_ on my mind. Here goes.**

 **Watching season 11 is making me very angry. At the writers, at Shonda, at the show in general. It's honestly aggravating to watch. Derek is _way_ out of character with all of this DC stuff and it's throwing MerDer off entirely. Watching them fight is really painful for me and it's even worse when it's _every single episode._ This fight they're having is exhausting and honestly annoying at this point. Also, I love Maggie and all, I think she's great, but I really can't get over that fact that she's basically just a replacement for Lexie, and I loved Lexie and I feel like no one can replace her. Another thing, Cristina leaving BROKE MY HEART. I am a hardcore Twisted Sisters lover and I can't believe she chose winning a Harper Avery over Meredith. I know she has always put surgery and work before friends and family but COME ON! SHE'S YOUR PERSON!**

 **That is all.**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	8. Shuffled- 5

**Here's a very very long finale! (and very late, sorry!)**

XxXxX

It took Callie almost an hour to come up with a plan that could save Meredith's legs. She spent almost half of the time staring at them, looking at scans, asking questions. She had spent the rest of the time in an empty office, just thinking. Pros and cons. Risks and rewards. Benefits and deficits. Finally, she came to a decision.

"Bilateral Leg Cadaver Bone Graft." She said loudly as she entered the OR. Bailey and Webber both looked up at her skeptically.

"Like what they do with broken teeth?" Miranda asked. Callie nodded.

"Both of her legs?" Richard asked. Callie nodded again, eyes wide with excitement.

"You don't have enough salvageable bone left here. There'd be nothing for the new bone to hold onto." Bailey shook her head.

"Exactly. I'm proposing a full bone transplant." She said. Both surgeons raised their eyebrows, surprised.

"Has that ever been done before?" Bailey asked. Callie smirked.

"Nope."

 **(Disclaimer- I'm not sure if a full bone transplant has ever been done on two legs before. This is AU so we're saying it hasn't.)**

"But... the joints and the tendons... and the muscles... how would preserve leg function?" Richard asked.

"It would take a very... VERY long time, but I could do it. I would implant the bones over the course of multiple surgeries while the old bone is still inside. That way, the new bone would have time to grow with the old bone in there." Callie said.

"She wouldn't be able to walk for... weeks! Her muscles would atrophy and she would need months of Physical Therapy before she could even think about coming back to work..." Richard said. Callie sighed.

"This is her only option if she wants to keep her legs. It will be a long and painful recovery, but... in the long run, it could mean so much more for her." She said.

"You'll have to get Derek's consent. And we would have to airlift her to Seattle." Richard sighed. Callie smiled at him.

"I'll take care of it. You make sure she stays alive until we get there." She winked, turning and leaving the OR.

XxXxX

Everyone jumped up as soon as she entered the hospital room. Derek sat up as gently as he could with the sleeping baby in his arms. Their eyes all probed her for answers without anyone having to say anything.

"This is going to sound crazy, but just hear me out. I'm proposing we do a Bilateral Cadaver Leg Bone Transplant." She said. Derek shook his head.

"Slow down. That was a lot of words and I'm still on drugs. You want to do a what?" He asked.

"A Bilateral Cadaver Leg Bone Transplant. Over the course of multiple surgeries, I would implant pieces of cadaver bone where Meredith's bones were crushed or damaged. Then, I would give the bone time to heal and adhere to the existing healthy bone before I implanted the next piece." She explained slowly.

"How long would all of this take?" Derek asked. Callie sighed.

"It would take a four to six weeks to complete all of the surgeries, in the meantime, she wouldn't be able to bear weight on her legs. She would be allowed to go home in between surgeries while her bones heal but would be on strict bed rest until all of the procedures are finished." She said, trying to ignore the exasperated look on all of the doctor's faces.

"Well... how much physical therapy would she need after that before she would even walk again?" Cristina asked. Callie closed her eyes for a moment and tried to keep herself calm.

"Maybe a month. It would take up to two months for her to get back up to full function and maybe a week more before she could come back to work. It's a very lengthy process but-" Derek cut her off.

"No." He said. She froze.

"But, Derek, it's the only-" He cut her off again.

"There has to be a different way. She can't sit in a bed for three months. Find another way!" He said. Callie sighed, sitting in the chair next to his bed.

"Derek, it's either this or she loses the legs. We're running out of time. Yes, it will be a very long recovery, but just think of the bigger picture. Imagine, years from now, you two have another baby. You want to be able to work the night shift and trust that if your baby starts crying, it's not going to take her ten minutes to get her prosthetics on or lift herself into a wheelchair. She's a surgeon, just like you are, just like we all are. She needs these legs." She said.

"She's going to be traumatized enough already. This is three months! Three months that she won't be able to be a surgeon, she won't be able to be a mother... she can't have sex!" He whispered the last part, placing both of his hands over his sleeping daughter's ears.

"I promise you, it will be worth it in the long run. Just... keep thinking about the bigger picture. Keep your mind in the future." She encouraged. He sighed.

"Okay. Do it. But, do it in Seattle. I don't want to stay here any longer." He said. Callie smiled.

"You won't regret this! I'm going to go build some legs!" She shouted as she ran down the hall.

XxXxX

The ride to Seattle was cramped, to say the least. Cristina, Lexie, Mark, Arizona, and Derek were all sedated to avoid any anxiety. Meredith was kept under anesthesia so that she could be brought right into surgery as soon as they arrived. All of her internal bleeding had been fixed by Bailey and Richard, who stayed by her side to monitor her vitals. Owen, Callie, and Alex all squeezed on the helicopter as well, with Alex trying desperately to keep Zola asleep through the very loud ride.

A very long hour later, they landed on the roof of Seattle Grace Mercy West and unloaded, with Bailey, Richard, and Callie immediately heading to the OR with Meredith and everybody else being moved to a private room until they woke up. Owen had chiefly duties that he had to check on, so Alex stayed in the room with Zola.

April and Jackson appeared a few minutes after they arrived.

"Oh, my god! What happened?!" April shrieked. Alex shushed her, gesturing toward the baby on his lap. Both of the surgeons rushed into the room.

"What happened?" Jackson asked in a quieter voice.

"They haven't told us anything yet. All we know is that their plane crashed in a forest somewhere in Idaho." Alex said. April's mouth fell open as she looked around at all of the beds in the room.

"Wait... where's Meredith? Oh, god, is she dead?!" She cried. Alex shook his head.

"She's in surgery. Her legs were crushed under a chunk of the plane and Torres is doing some crazy three-month thing with cadaver bones to try to save them." He explained. Both surgeon's eyes were wide and jaws were dropped as they sat down in chairs next to Alex.

"Well, is anybody else hurt?" Jackson asked.

"Cristina's leg is broken, Arizona's shoulder is dislocated, Mark's hand got stuck in the plane, Lexie-" Jackson cut him off.

"Mark's hand was stuck in the plane?! Is he going to be able to operate?!" He asked. Alex shushed him again, gesturing at the sleeping child on his lap again.

"He's going to be fine. He didn't need surgery, it's just a simple break and he'll be in a cast for a few weeks." Alex assured him. Jackson breathed a sigh of relief.

"What about Lexie? And Derek?" April asked.

"Lexie is fine, she had a piece of glass in her thigh, but they're giving her antibiotics to hopefully stop any infection. Derek had a cardiac tamponade while they were-" A voice from the doorway cut him off this time.

"Tamponade?!" Teddy shrieked. All three of the surgeons shushed her and pointed to Zola sleeping peacefully in Alex's lap.

"Sorry. Derek had a cardiac tamponade?!" She asked much quieter. Alex nodded and she rushed into the room and over to Derek's bed, freezing when she noticed the four other beds in the room.

"What the hell happened? Owen and Richard and Bailey all rushed off suddenly and didn't tell us anything, why are five of our doctors hospitalized?" She asked.

"Six," April murmured. Teddy looked at Alex, exasperated.

"Their plane crashed on the way to Idaho. Nothing life-threatening except for Derek's heart and Meredith..." He trailed off, looking nervously down the hallway at the OR doors.

"Wait, what's wrong with Meredith? Where is she?" Teddy asked, looking up from Derek for a moment.

"She's in surgery. We don't know much, but she got sucked out the back of the plane when it hit the ground and they found her crushed up to her thigh under a chunk of it. Torres has some three-month plan to save her legs with cadaver bones." He said. Teddy's eyes were wide.

"Well, is she going to be okay?" She asked. Alex scoffed.

"Yeah, other than the fact that she may never walk again." He muttered. She let out a stunned huff, staring at the floor for a moment while it sunk in before turning back to Derek and examining him. She grabbed the chart off of his bed.

"Pericardial fluid drained at Idaho Memorial...?" She looked up at Alex.

"It was the closest hospital to where they crashed, so the helicopter went straight there because Meredith and Derek were critical," Alex explained. Teddy nodded.

"God, how does this happen?" April asked, her head in her hands. Jackson rubbed her back soothingly as Teddy's pager went off. She checked it and excused herself from the room.

XxXxX

One Month Later

The blaring of the alarm clock woke Derek with a start as he quickly reached to turn it off. Meredith stirred next to him but didn't wake up, so he rolled over so that his face was inches from hers.

"Meredith... Meredith, we have to get up." He said softly. She slowly opened her eyes and smiled when she saw him.

"Good morning, my love." He smiled, kissing her softly before getting up from the bed slowly. He walked around to the other side of the bed, grabbing the wheelchair from its position against the wall and pushing it over to the bed.

"Your throne, milady." He chuckled. She rolled her eyes and sat up, allowing him to help her into the chair.

"Just think, soon enough, we won't need this silly thing." He said. She sighed and nodded as he rolled the chair into Zola's room, parking it just inside the doorway and approaching his daughter's crib.

"Zola! Zola, it's time to get up! Yeah, we're gonna go to daycare now." He said in his baby-talk voice, lifting his sleepy daughter from her crib. She slowly woke up and yawned, her little arms stretching up as he carried her back to his wife and set her down in Meredith's lap.

He took them both out of the room and through the living room to the front door.

"No breakfast?" Meredith asked worriedly.

"We'll grab something on the way, we're going to be late if we don't hurry." He said, pushing his wife and daughter through the door and locking it behind him.

They all loaded into the car and set off towards the hospital, stopping at their favorite bagel shop on the way. Derek grabbed the delicious smelling bag from the teenager working the drive-thru and thanked him, handing the bag to Meredith as they pulled.

She handed him his hot bacon-egg-and-cheese bagel and two napkins and he took a huge bite out of it, checking the clock in the car to make sure they were on time.

"Perfect. We'll have plenty of time to drop little miss Zola off at daycare and make our appointment." He said, taking another bite of his bagel.

"Good. I do not want to be late on the first day." Meredith said. Derek chuckled.

"It's a physical therapist, Meredith, not a job interview." He laughed.

"Yeah, a physical therapist that I'm going to have to see every day for the next two months if I want to walk again! This is a big deal, Derek." She defended. He sighed, placing his hand on top of hers.

"You'll be fine, honey." He assured her, pulling into the hospital parking lot and looking for a place to park.

"Derek, just take the handicapped spot. That little wheelchair symbol means it for people with wheelchairs like... me!" Meredith sighed. He shook his head, pulling into an empty space three spots down from the handicapped one.

"The handicapped spots are for people that have... handicaps. And you don't. The wheelchair doesn't mean anything." He said stubbornly. She just laughed and shook her head as he got out of the car and ran around to the back, unloading the wheelchair from the trunk and setting it down on the ground.

Zola babbled indistinctly in the seat behind her and she turned around, smiling at the toddler as she played with one of her toys. Derek opened her door and opened his arms. She sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding on tightly.

"You know, we wouldn't have to do this if we parked in the handicap spot!" She nagged as he carried her between the two parked cars and set her down gently in the wheelchair.

"It's not a problem. Honestly, I like it. You're light. It's like lifting a bigger Zola." He smirked. She rolled her eyes as he placed her daughter on her lap next to the bag of bagels and locked the car. He whistled a lively melody and pushed them both towards the hospital as the sun peeked over the horizon.

XxXxX

"Dr. Shepherd, Dr. Grey! How nice to see you! And Zola, you've gotten so big!" The daycare lady said as they entered the room. Meredith and Derek smiled at her as Meredith handed her the bag with Zola's bagel in it.

"We didn't have time to feed her breakfast, but we picked this up on the way." She explained. The lady nodded and took the bag, placing it on the table and picking Zola up from her mother's lap. Both parents said goodbye to their daughter and Derek wheeled Meredith away from the daycare and into an elevator.

"Ah, the elevator..." He sighed, making her laugh. The bell dinged and the doors opened, revealing the surgical floor they had both missed so dearly. Richard was standing at the nurse's station and noticed them making their way down the hallway.

"Meredith! How are you feeling?" He asked, jogging to catch up to them.

"I'm ready to get these casts off." Meredith sighed, gesturing towards the thick casts on her legs. Richard chuckled.

"Well, best of luck to both of you." He smiled as they turned and entered the exam room where their first appointment was scheduled. Derek closed the door and drew the blinds and Meredith sighed, resting her head in her hands. He walked over to her and placed a comforting hand on her back.

"I know you hate this. It's almost over, just think of the-" Meredith cut him off.

"The bigger picture, I know. Babies and weddings and life's little moments. I just want it to be over already." She said. He rubbed her back and kissed her hair softly.

"I know. I do too."

XxXxX

There was a knock on the door a few minutes after her had helped her up onto the exam table. Callie entered the room, a smile on her face.

"Let's get these casts off, what do you say?" She beamed. Meredith nodded but kept her gaze glued to the floor. Derek made eye contact with Callie and she noticed his eyes were filled with worry and sadness.

"Dr. Torres, can I Uh.. talk to you in the hall for a moment?" He asked. Meredith looked up at him, asking him a million questions at once with her glare. He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, kissing her quickly and then joining Callie in the hallway.

"Callie, I'm sorry. She hates this. She hates not being able to work, she hates the pity and the flowers and the food and the fact that I'm missing work to help her, and she hates that wheelchair. Most of all, she hates looking weak in front of her friends. And she considers you one of her friends. So... just for today, if you could be more... I don't know... doctor-ly... instead of friendly, I think that would really help her." Derek said as soon as the door was closed. Callie nodded.

"Okay, Yeah, sure. I can do that. I totally get it. Arizona was the same way about her shoulder." She said. He sighed in relief.

"Thank you. I really hate seeing her like this... I just never know if I'm doing too much or not enough... I'm ready for it to be over." He said. She smiled at him.

"Well... after today... as long as you're careful, I'm pretty sure that she'll be cleared for sex... so, that should help." Callie chuckled. Derek tried to conceal his smile.

"Mmh-hmm." He said through his lips. They both entered the room again and Callie approached Meredith to examine her.

"Okay, I'm just going to check out the casts, to make sure they're ready to come off. Let me know if you feel any discomfort." She said, trying not to make eye contact with Meredith, who nodded silently and focused her gaze on Derek and her attention on holding his hand.

"Alright, it looks like the bones are fully healed, so I can take the casts off and you can start physical therapy." Callie declared, stepping over to her instrument tray and grabbing the saw. Derek stepped closer and allowed Meredith to bury her face in his chest so that she wouldn't see the cutting.

It only took about five minutes for Callie to get both of the casts off. Meredith's legs felt cold as the open air blew on them for the first time in weeks. She turned and looked at them, preparing herself for the worst.

There was some residual bruising and unsightly scars, but otherwise, she was surprised. They weren't mangled or bent the wrong way or held in place by huge metal frames. They were just legs. For a moment, she almost thought she could walk.

Derek helped her into the wheelchair again and thanked Callie, allowing her to cover her legs with a blanket because of the scarring. She held her breath and grit her teeth together as she slowly and gently bent her knees so that she was in a sitting position.

"Wow. That was impressive. Your physical therapist is going to like you." Callie chuckled. Meredith's eyes flicked up to her for a moment and she smiled just a little bit. Then her eyes glued themselves to the floor again and her face returned to its distant and indifferent expression.

"I'll see you guys soon for a checkup! Good luck!" Callie said as Derek pushed her out of the room. Meredith sighed as soon as the door was closed.

"Do you have a blanket for my face?" She joked, covering her eyes with her hands. Derek chuckled.

"It's okay, Meredith. Your friends understand what you're going through. Most of them went through the same thing, either first or second hand. We're at least going to start making progress now, so just think about that and try to be happy. We all survived." He assured her as they headed towards the elevator. She took a deep breath and nodded.

"Time to learn to walk."

XxXxX

One month later, Meredith was walking without the need for Derek or a walker to hold her up. She could only make it short distances, but it was progress. Her physical therapist, Andrew, told her that they would work on strengthening her muscles in the following month.

It had been two weeks since she got the news.

It started with a routine blood test to make sure she didn't have a post-op infection. The intern brought back the bag looking nervous but excited at the same time.

"Dr. Grey..." She said softly. Derek perked up next to her.

"What? What is it, is something wrong?" He asked. She smiled.

"No, um... nothing's wrong. You're uh... you're pregnant." She mumbled. Both Meredith's and Derek's eyes were wide.

"What?!" She cried.

"You're pregnant. Congratulations." The intern said louder. Meredith turned to Derek, who had a smile taking up most of his face.

"We're gonna have another baby!" He smiled. She mirrored his excitement and repeated what he said. Derek wrapped his arms around her and tears filled both of their eyes. The intern slowly left the room.

"Another baby..." Meredith marveled to herself.

XxXxX

Meredith tapped her fingers nervously on the car door. It was her first day back at work after three months of recovery. She was an fellow now, an attending general surgeon. She's missed three months of work, but Bailey and Richard had allowed it. They understood what she was going through.

She was afraid she was out of practice. Derek had given her hypotheticals and helped her so that she was ready, but she still didn't feel up to surgery speed yet. She hoped that would change when she actually got on the floor.

She walked next to Derek up to the doors, thinking of how much she took for granted her ability to walk normally. She finally had it back and it felt so good.

The automatic sliding doors opened and Meredith saw people gathered all around her in the lobby, smiling at her and cheering as she walked towards the elevator. Derek held her arm tighter, knowing that she didnt want the extra attention and thanking everyone for her.

The elevator doors closed and Meredith let out a loud sigh. Derek rubbed her back calmingly. He pressed the button for the floor with the attending's lounge. Meredith leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around her, his hands resting on the small bump on her stomach.

"Are you sure you're ready?" He whispered into her neck. She took a deep breath as his breath teased her skin.

"I've been ready for three months now. I need the rush of the OR." She sighed. He nodded silently and kissed the back of her neck gently. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. His hand intertwined with hers and they both stepped onto the floor.

They stepped into the attending's lounge and saw that it was empty. Derek closed the door behind them. Meredith looked around for a few moments and let it sink in. This was her lounge now, not just Derek's. She could come here whenever she wanted.

Derek looked at her with hungry eyes. She noticed and raised her eyebrows, approaching slowly with the same hunger reflected in her pupils. He flipped off the lights. Her hands gripped his lab coat and his found her hips, their lips meeting in a soft kiss.

She threw his coat to the ground, followed by hers as they both stepped toward the couch. Her hands lifted his shirt over his head as he pushed her down on the couch, never breaking their kiss for more than a moment. He gently lifted her shirt from her body and traced his fingers along the scar from the incision in her abdomen. She squirmed under him, her hands running up and down his back.

His hands had just found the drawstring of her pants when the lights jumped on and they both looked up. Miranda Bailey was standing in the doorway, looking mortified. Derek immediately dropped so he was laying on top of Meredith, making sure not to crush her but acting as a shield for her exposed body. Bailey finally found the capacity to speak.

"Does the word inappropriate mean anything to you two?!" She cried. Meredith laid her head back on the couch and covered her face with her hands in embarrassment.

"Children. Actual children..." She sighed as she turned to leave.

"Bailey!" Derek called after her. She turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised.

"Can you uh... turn off the lights?" He asked. She scoffed and flipped the light switch, her face full of disgust.

"I'm never eating on that couch again..." She mumbled.

XxXxX

Meredith's first surgery was an hour later. It was nothing major, just a Lap Chole. After she scrubbed, she entered the OR to loud applause. She smiled awkwardly and waited for them to stop, stepping closer to the table.

"Thank you, everyone... let's start now." She said, standing on the right side of the table and looking up at the gallery. All of her friends sat in the chairs, staring down at her encouragingly. Derek was in the front row, leaning forward attentively. She smiled up at him.

"10-Blade."

XxXxX

2 Months Later

Meredith clutched Derek's hand in hers as she stared at the monitor. Her mind kept running through every possible scenario. Every possible way that things could go wrong. Derek noticed this and he placed his hand on top of hers.

"It's going to be fine. The baby is fine." He said softly as the ultrasound loaded. They heard the fetal heartbeat playing over the monitor and smiled at each other. Derek looked up at the screen as it began to display an image of the baby's face.

"Hi, baby." Meredith smiled. Derek squeezed her hand as the OB moved the ultrasound around her growing baby bump. She stopped for a moment and they got a good view of the baby's whole body.

"I see... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 fingers! Wait... 11..." Meredith pointed to the screen. Derek tried to conceal his smile.

"That's... not a finger..." He smirked. She looked up at him, her eyes dancing with happiness.

"It's a boy!" She cried. He couldn't control the smile covering his face as he planted a kiss on her smile.

"It's a boy!"

XxXxX

4 Months Later

Meredith sighed as Jo walked down the stairs, her head covered with a hood and her eye surrounded with swelling and redness. She turned and saw a technician running down with a power saw.

"Hey, are they done with that in the OR?" She asked. The man didn't even look up at her. Jo stopped halfway down the stairs and listened to their conversation.

"Yeah, they were done with it a while ago." The man said, exiting through the door on the next platform.

"Then why aren't I back up there?!" Meredith grunted through gritted teeth. She started to run up the stairs. Her foot slipped and the next thing she knew, she was screaming and tumbling down the stairs. Her arms tried to protect her baby instinctively but she couldn't do anything to stop herself as she finally landed in a heap on the ground.

Pain coursed through her abdomen and her hands wrapped around her baby bump, praying that nothing had happened. She had already lost one baby. She was so close with this one, her son, and she couldn't lose him right before the finish line.

Tears filled her eyes as she tried to help herself up, feeling placed where she would bruise from the rough impacts. Jo ran back up the steps and saw her, gasping loudly and diving down to help her.

"Oh, my god! Are you alright? What happened?" She cried. Meredith barely noticed Jo trying to help her up. Her eyes were wide with fear as she turned to look at the brunette.

"Wilson... call my husband. Tell him it's urgent." She said as calmly as possible. Jo looked terrified.

"Wh-why? What happened, are you okay, do you need help?" She asked. Meredith grabbed her arm to steady herself.

"I need you to call him because I'm in labor."

XxXxX

"One more push, Meredith! You can do it, you're almost done! Just one more, come on!" The OB encourages her. Meredith squeezed Derek's hand so hard that her knuckles were white as he cheered her on as well.

She cried out loudly and leaned forward, sweat dripping down her face and her hands shaking. She was filled with relief suddenly as the sound of crying filled the room and the doctor picked up their son. She handed Derek a pair of scissors and nodded, smiling as he cut the umbilical cord with tears in his eyes.

A nurse swiftly took the crying baby and cleaned him off, wrapping him in a blanket and bringing him back to his parents. Meredith's face was covered in tears as she reached out for him, holding him tightly to her chest and looking down at his face.

"Oh, he has your eyes. And your hair, thank god!" She cried, looking up at Derek. He placed a hand on her head and kissed her softly, both of them looking down at their son full of pride.

"We don't have a name." Meredith said suddenly. Derek raised his eyebrows.

"Any ideas?" He asked her. She smiled.

"If Wilson hadn't been there when I fell, I don't know what I would have done. She saved our son's life." She sighed. Derek's eyes lit up.

"Will." He smirked. She breathed deeply and smiled up at him.

"I love it." She squeaked.

"I love you." He smirked.

XxXxX

 **Wow. I'm sorry this took me so long to post! It's really long because I wanted to fit all of my ideas in here and it's kind of choppy because I had a bunch of ideas for little scenes here and there. I actually didn't plan to have the baby born that way or named after someone other than Bailey, but I like the way it turned out.**

 **Look forward to another (very long and sad) story out soon!**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	9. Beautiful

**This is that long and sad story I mentioned in the last chapter. It's a story about what happens after Derek's death, but it is mostly from Zola's perspective. This is what I imagined happened, so it isn't all correct. Definitely AU and definitely very sad. Don't read if you don't like depressing or dead MerDer stories.**

Zola sat in the back seat of the car next to her little brother, who had dozed off. She couldn't see her mother's face, only that her hands were clutching the steering wheel so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

She turned and looked out the window instead. She didn't know how long they had been driving for, but it felt like forever. She saw only emptiness when she looked at the road. It was just a very long, lonely cement strip.

 _If daddy were here_ , she thought, _he would say something funny to make me laugh_. Her dad always made her laugh. She forced herself to stop thinking about him. She didn't want it to hurt all over again.

Zola leaned her head against the cold window and closed her eyes. She hoped she would have a good dream if she could ever fall asleep. Deep down, she hoped she would dream of her Dad.

XxXxX

She woke up to the sound of a car door slamming. Through the window, she saw her mother, with tears staining her face and bags under her eyes, walking over to her brother's side of the car. Zola unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the car door, jumping down onto the damp pavement below her.

Bailey didn't wake up when his mom plucked him from his car seat. He sleepily wrapped his arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder. That was when Zola noticed her mother was still crying. She had millions of questions on her mind but chose not to ask any of them. She knew her Mom didn't like people talking to her when she cried. Unless it was Daddy. _He always made her smile._

Zola looked around at the unfamiliar place as her mother grabbed the hastily packed bag from the front seat. The sign on the building they were parked in front of read _'MA's Finest Apartments'. What does MA stand for?_ _And why are we going to an apartment building when we have a house?_ She really wanted to ask her mother questions, but she knew that she shouldn't.

They walked into the building, which had a really pretty lobby with lots of art and even a fountain. The entire room looked golden in the shimmering light. But it was cold. Zola wanted to go home.

Her mother approached the long counter to the side of the room. She started to talk to the man behind the counter, who was dressed in a suit. Zola wondered why he was dressed so fancily. Maybe it was part of his job.

She tuned out their conversation. It was boring anyway. Instead, her eyes landed on the bag slewn over her mother's shoulder. She remembered watching her mother pack it before they had started driving.

 _Their car made the familiar crunching noise that signified they were home as it drove up the driveway. Zola stayed silent as their pack of three unloaded from the car. It was just like any other night. Except, tonight was different. Other night, Zola had hope that her Daddy would come home from work soon and see her. But tonight, she didn't. Tonight, her Daddy was dead._

 _She followed her mother silently as they entered the house. Normally, Zola and her brother would both go straight to sleep after they got home. But she already knew that tonight was not a normal night. Her mother placed Bailey down gently on the couch and then rushed into her bedroom. Zola followed her as quietly as she could, peeking in through the doorway to see what she was doing._

 _A big bag was sitting on the bed. Her mother was throwing clothes at it in a hurry. She ran into the bathroom and grabbed all three of their toothbrushes, a brand new tube of toothpaste, Bailey's favorite rubber ducky, and something off of the counter that looked like a weird toothbrush with no bristles. She threw everything into the bag on top of the clothes. Zola shrunk back as her mother looked around the room a final time._

 _The little girl had to stop herself from gasping when her mother climbed up on the bed. She knew she wasn't supposed to stand on the bed. Why was Mommy doing it? Zola watched her mother gently remove the little frame above the bed from the wall and place it in the bag. She knew that frame was important and she wasn't supposed to touch it, but she never knew why. It was just a sticky note._

 _Then, her Mom grabbed her phone off of the nightstand. She held it up like she was taking a picture of the wall that Zola couldn't see. She knew what was on the wall, though. It was the scribbly picture on the wall. Zola never knew what the picture was supposed to be. She remembered one time her_ Daddy _had told her it was someone's spine. She didn't understand why a picture of a spine was so important, but then again, she didn't understand a lot of things._

 _Zola jumped out of the way as her Mom grabbed the bag and rushed through the door and into her and Bailey's bedroom. She placed the bag on the floor and threw open the closet. The little girl watched her mother grab a few pairs of everything for each of them and stuff the clothes into the bag as well. She grabbed Zola's favorite dog stuffed animal from her bed and Bailey's favorite bunny from his crib. Then, she zipped the bag up and ran out of the room._

 _"Zola, we're going to go back out to the car now. We're playing Hide and Seek, okay?" Her mother said, scooping Bailey, who was still sleeping, up in one of her arms and slinging the bag over the other. Zola nodded and rushed over to the door. She knew they weren't actually playing Hide and Seek. In Hide and Seek, you're not allowed to leave the house. But, she listened anyway, because it seemed important to her Mom._

 _Zola opened the door and waited outside for her Mom, who held up the keys to her car and pressed a button. The car made a clicking noise and Zola knew it was unlocked, so she made her way towards it._

 _XxXxX_

 _Meredith stood in the doorway for a moment before she closed the door. Was she making the right decision? Would she regret this later? Before she could begin to answer the questions, a wave of calmness washed over her. She closed her eyes and inhaled slowly. She felt him. All around her, he was there. She smelled his cologne._

 _"Derek..." Just as soon as it had appeared, it was gone. She felt lonelier than ever. And she closed the door. She didn't bother to lock it._

 _XxXxX_

Her mother's hand on her back broke Zola from her trance. She looked up suddenly and saw that they were walking towards the elevator. Her mom pressed the button to go up and waited silently. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. But her mother didn't budge.

She stared at the elevator until the doors closed again. Her chest jumped up and down shakily and her eyes filled with tears. She steadied herself for a moment and then turned to the large and elegant spiral staircase beside the elevators.

"Stairs are good. We can take the stairs." Zola heard her mother whispering to herself. She wondered why they couldn't take the elevator. Was it dangerous? Maybe her Mommy was just trying to keep them safe.

They walked slowly and silently up the golden stairs until they reached the third floor. Zola walked behind her mother as they made their way down the dimly lit hallway. This was nothing like the extravagant lobby. Finally, they stopped in front of a door with the number 326 on it. Her mother stopped.

The hand that wasn't holding Bailey to her hip reached up and touched the golden numbers, which shined on the dark green door.

"Of course..." Zola heard her whisper. Then, she pulled out the key that the man in the lobby had given her and unlocked the door.

The apartment was a good size. It had a single king bed on one side, a full kitchen, a couch with a TV, and a table with four chairs. A door led into a bathroom with one sink and a bathtub with a showerhead. There was a small closet, which was the perfect size for the few clothes that they had packed.

Zola stepped into the apartment, looking around and taking everything in. The view from the window was of the parking lot, but she could see the stars in the sky clearly. The moon smiled down at her pitifully.

Her mother closed the door behind them and placed both the bag and her little brother down on the bed. He quickly curled into a ball on top of the covers and placed his thumb in his mouth. Zola offered to help her mother unpack.

She took both hers and Bailey's clothes out of the bag and hung them up in the closet neatly. Her mother did the same with her own clothes. She took the little bunny from the bag and wedged it tightly inside of Bailey's warm cocoon.

Zola was instructed to change into her pajamas. She nodded and grabbed the comfortable clothes from their hanger in the closet. She stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

When she finished changing and walked back into the main room of the apartment, her mother had completely unpacked the bag. She was surprised to see that the frame with the post-it note had been hung up on the wall above the bed. She assumed there must have been a nail there already for it to hang on.

Her mother took her pajamas along with all of their toothbrushes and toothpaste, Bailey's rubber ducky, and the strange toothbrush into the bathroom and closed the door. Zola slowly and gently pulled the covers back on the bed and scooted her little brother so that he was curled up snugly under them. She moved to extract herself from the bed, but the little boy's fist clenched her shirt tightly.

She eased herself under the covers and wrapped her arms his warm body. He snuggled up against her sleepily and her fingers played with his blonde hair.

"We're going to be okay, Bay-bay. You and me and Mommy are going to be okay." She said softly to him. She was telling herself more than she was telling him.

XxXxX

Meredith sat in the bathroom, having changed into her pajamas long ago but unable to find the strength to face her confused children again. She closed the toilet seat and sat down, taking the long, slim piece of plastic off of the sink.

She held it in her shaking hand and let tears fall down her face. She heard her daughter's soft voice from the other side of the door. _We're going to be okay, Bay-bay. You and me and Mommy are going to be okay._ Her heart melted inside her chest and she rested her head in her hands, staring at the words written on the end of the stick with watery eyes.

 _Pregnant._

XxXxX

Zola felt the bed sag behind her as her Mom climbed under the covers, thinking she was asleep. The lights turned off and it was dark. Zola let everything sink in for a moment. Tears filled her eyes and she turned to face her mother, who was staring at her and her brother with watery eyes.

"You're awake." She said shakily. Zola nodded and scooted closer to her mother, who sighed and wrapped her arms around her daughter.

"I'm sorry." She choked suddenly, tears running down her face. Zola looked up at her with innocent eyes.

"For what, Mommy?" She asked softly.

"You and Bailey must be so confused. I haven't told you anything, I just dragged you out here and put you to sleep. I'm sorry." She cried. Zola shook her head.

"It's okay, Mommy. You're sad because Daddy's gone. I'm sad too. It's okay." She said. Her mother pulled her closer.

"I know you have a lot of questions. You're a smart girl. You can ask them now. It's okay." Her mom said. Zola nodded. She tried to think of a question but her mind was blank.

"Where are we?" She asked. Her mother sighed and she knew that was a question she didn't want to answer.

"Somewhere very very far away from home." Was all she said. Zola nodded.

"How long are we staying here?" She asked. Her mother sighed again.

"Zola, do you remember when I had baby Bailey?" She asked. Zola didn't know why she was asking that question. It had nothing to do with her question.

"Yes." She decides to trust that her mother had a point.

"Well, do you remember how my tummy got really big right before he came?" She asked. Zola nodded, rubbing her head against her mother's chest so that she could feel it in the dark.

"Well, I found out tonight that I'm going to have another baby." Zola could hear that her mom was smiling by the way she talked, yet she still felt the shaking of her hands and the unsteadiness in her chest when she breathed.

"Really?" She asked. She felt herself smiling as well. Another baby! Maybe this one would be a little sister for her to have tea parties with. Bailey never liked to have tea parties with her.

"Yes. And we're going to stay here until the baby comes, okay?" Her mother said. Zola nodded again.

"Why couldn't we go on the elevator?" Her curiosity took over her brain. She felt her mom laughing.

"Daddy and I had our first real kiss in an elevator. We had a lot of important moments in an elevator. He asked me to marry him in an elevator." She smiled. Zola was only more confused.

"So... shouldn't the elevator be good?" She asked. Her mother sighed.

"The elevator makes me think of Daddy. It makes me think of how much I miss him. And missing him makes me sad." She explained. Zola nodded.

"Is that why you were sad about the room number?" She asked. Her mom chuckled.

"You pick up on a lot, don't you?" She asked. Zola nodded.

"No, honey. I was sad about the room number because it was 3-2-6. Just like 3-26, like the date. March 26th. That was the day that Daddy died." She said softly. Zola's face fell.

"Oh." Was all she said. They were both silent for a while. Then, Zola asked her next question.

"Why the frame above the bed so important?" She asked.

"That post-it note was our wedding. We sat down and wrote what we wanted to promise each other on it. Then we both signed it, and we were married." Her mom explained.

"But... don't you have to wear a white dress and walk down the aisle and say 'I do' and kiss the bride?" Zola asked. Her mom laughed.

"Traditionally, Yes. But, you don't have to. You can get married just by going to the city hall and signing some papers. That's what we had to do before we could adopt you." She smiled. Zola was silent for a few seconds.

"A post-it is a good idea. You can do it quickly and keep it with you all the time, just like you." Zola said. Her mom nodded.

"It's time to go to sleep now, okay? We can talk more in the morning." She declared. Zola nodded, turning and wrapping her arms around her brother again as her mother took both of them into a bigger hug.

"Mommy?" Zola asked.

"Yes?" Her mother responded.

"I love you." She said, feeling sleep beckoning her.

"I love you too, Zo."

XxXxX

Alex pulled up in the driveway of Meredith's dream house. There were no cars parked outside, which worried him. His footsteps crunched loudly in the darkness as he made his way up the gravel path towards the dark house.

The door was unlocked, which was even more worrying. Someone must have left the house in a hurry to forget to lock the door. He flicked on the lights and immediately, something was different. He couldn't figure out what it was until he inhaled.

The smell.

It always smelled like lavender in their house.

It was gone.

He walked cautiously into the bedroom through the open door and flipped the lights on. The room looked different. Something was off. He noticed Meredith's phone had disappeared from the nightstand. Her closet looked different. He approached it and began to finger through the shirts. Many of them were missing, including her Dartmouth sleep shirt that he didn't understand why she kept. There was a hole in the back of the neck, after all.

On Derek's side, most of the shirts had been cleared out because he was in DC. But Alex noticed the absence of one shirt in particular. Derek's red shirt. Meredith had pulled it out on multiple occasions when she felt especially lonely. Apparently, he had worn it the night he met her.

Alex knew something was wrong. He looked in the bathroom. All of the toothbrushes were gone. The single rubber ducky had disappeared from the bathtub. Had Meredith run away? Had she taken her kids with her?

The kids' room was the same way. Clothes were missing from the closets and the stuffed animals were missing from their beds. He pulled out his phone and called Meredith the same way he had when she hadn't shown up to work the past five days. It rang, and rang, and rang, and then went to voicemail.

He stepped into the living room with anxiety coursing through him and called Derek. It went straight to voicemail without even ringing. Next, he called Maggie, who picked up after a few seconds.

"Karev, why are you calling me? It's 10:30, I was about to go sleep." Her voice asked over the phone.

"I'm at Meredith's house. Her car is gone, some of her clothes are gone, the kids are gone, their toys are gone, Meredith is gone!" He said quickly. Maggie was silent for a moment.

"She's still not answering her phone?" She asked.

"No, and neither is Derek. I want to believe she just went visit him and they've been busy having sex this whole time, but... she would check her phone at least once. And she would've had one of us watch the kids if she planned to do that. And... oh, no." He trailed off when something caught his eye in the bedroom.

"What? What happened, Alex?" Maggie asked.

"The post-it is gone." He said.

"Post-it?" She asked.

"Meredith and Derek got married on a post-it. They wrote their vows on it and signed it and called themselves married for like two years before they actually got married. They've had the post-it hanging above their bed for years and it's gone." He explained quickly. Maggie was silent.

"So... she's gone?" She asked softly. Alex sat down on the couch, stunned.

"She... she's gone."

XxXxX

Days passed. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned to months. Everyone slowly but surely adjusted to life without Meredith and her kids. Alex, Amelia, and Maggie all called her every day for the first few weeks. Slowly, they called less and less until eventually, they would only call her every once in a while when they had a free moment.

Zola and Bailey adjusted to the spontaneous change in their life surprisingly quickly. Bailey was too young to even think anything of it and Zola did her best to make herself as comfortable as possible for her mother's sake. She did miss her friends and her home sometimes. She missed Amelia and Maggie and Alex and Jo and Callie and Arizona and Sofia. She even missed Cristina from time to time. But most of all, she missed her Dad.

Her mother bought her crayons and pencils and markers and all kinds of supplies for her to play with. Every day, she would write her alphabet out on a piece of paper in a new color. Her mom even taught her how to write dates and numbers so that she would write what day she wrote the letters on the papers. They kept a large stack of the papers under the bed so that they could look back at them later.

When she wasn't writing or reading, Zola liked to draw. At first, she drew simple things. Her house, her friends, her family. Then, she decided to draw her Dad. She didn't want to forget what he looked like. Zola found that it was fun to draw him. She liked thinking of him smiling and remembering his face.

She wrote down memories she had with him as well. Stories of times she had spent with him. She didn't want to forget them either. It helped with her writing as well. So, every day, she would wake up before her mom and her brother and she would write down a memory. If she had time, she would draw a picture. She got pretty good at drawing, experimenting with colors and things to find out what worked and what didn't. She kept everything she did a secret, though. She thought her mom might get upset with her if she knew about her drawings.

She used the dates that her mother taught her and wrote them in the corner of each paper. Then she made a different pile under the bed where her mother wouldn't find it. It helped relieve her stress and it helped her cope with her loss. Instead of being angry at her Dad for leaving her, she remembered all of the happy times she had with him.

Her mother's phone rang all the time. Many times a day, the screen would light up and it would vibrate, playing a ringtone softly. Zola noticed it ringing and she knew her mom did too, but she never answered it. Mommy said they were playing Hide and Seek. She obviously didn't want them to be found.

There were some days when her Mom didn't get out of bed. Those days were the hardest. She wouldn't talk, she wouldn't eat, and she wouldn't stop crying. On those days, Zola took the responsibility in the apartment upon herself. She made sure Bailey had enough to eat, she made sure that he went to the bathroom, (luckily, her mom and dad had potty trained him recently) she tried to teach him something new and she made sure to write her alphabet and read a book even though her mother didn't tell her to.

Around two months after they had moved in, her Mom was having one of her days. Zola got up early and did her drawing and her story, realized when her brother woke up that her Mom wasn't going to get up, and began her day. The phone rang a lot more that day. Maybe it was a special day. Zola was lonely that day. She wanted to hear one of her mother's stories, she wanted to know why she was upset, but she knew better than to disturb her mom when she was crying.

The phone rang around the middle of the day. Zola stared at it. She watched it ring for a few seconds. Her eyes drifted to her Mom, who had turned away and curled into a ball on the bed. She couldn't resist the temptation anymore. She grabbed the phone and stepped into the bathroom as quietly as possible, closing the door behind her and answering the phone.

"Hello?" She asked softly.

"Meredith?!" Arizona's voice asked, sounding shocked.

"Arizona?" Zola asked. Arizona let out a stunned sigh of relief.

"Zola! Oh, my god, you're okay!" She cried.

"Yeah. We're okay. Mommy and Bailey are here too. I don't know where we are, Mommy said we're playing Hide and Seek. I miss you. I miss everyone." Zola said quietly.

"Is your Mommy there? Can I talk to her?" Arizona asked. Zola sighed.

"She doesn't know I'm on the phone. She's having one of her... days. She's sad today, and she can't talk. Sorry." Zola said. Arizona let out a sigh laced with understanding.

"Zola, do you know if you're coming back soon?" Arizona asked. Zola thought for a moment.

"I don't know. I don't think so. Mommy says we can't leave." She said. Suddenly, there were indistinct voices on the other end and Zola heard crackling.

"Zola! You're okay! Is Meredith okay? Is your Mommy alright?" Alex's voice asked suddenly. Zola smiled at the sound of his voice. She missed him.

"She's okay. She's really sad today, so she can't talk." Alex made the same sound Arizona had when she had told her that her Mom was sad. What had happened today that made everyone sad? She thought back to her writing that day. The date was May 17th. What happened on May 17th?

"Zola, do you know where Derek is? Can you tell me if he's okay?" Alex asked. Zola was silent for a moment. She tried to think of a way to dodge the question. Her mom had been very clear about this: she did not want anyone to know about her Dad's death. Suddenly, Zola heard footsteps approaching.

"I have to go. Goodbye, Uncle Karev." She said quickly, hanging up the phone and looking up just as the door to the bathroom opened. Her mom was standing in the doorway, looking sadly at the phone in Zola's hand with a hint of disappointment in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Mommy. I just wanted to talk to someone other than Bailey. I didn't tell them anything, I promise. Just that we're okay." Zola said quickly. Her Mom approached her slowly. Zola gulped, overcome with unreasonable fear. Her parents rarely yelled at her, but when they did, it made her feel worse than anything else.

Tears filled her mother's eyes and she reached out her arms, wrapping them around a very surprised Zola. She returned the embrace, feeling her Mother shaking with quiet sobs.

"You're brave, Zola. Braver than I am." She said softly. Zola furrowed her eyebrows.

"You're not mad?" She asked quietly.

"No. I'm not mad. I was just scared to answer the phone." Her mom said.

"Are we going home soon?" Zola asked.

"Soon. They know we're okay. We just have to stay here until the new baby is born, okay?" Her mom said. Zola nodded.

XxXxX

Arizona walked out of her surgery, sighing in relief as she sat down on a bed. Her leg was killing her. She felt lonelier than ever that day. I'm the only one left. Lexie and Mark are dead. Cristina's in Switzerland. Meredith and Derek are gone. I'm alone.

Meredith.

It had become routine for people to call Meredith in every spare moment they had. They all knew she would never answer. They called her anyway. They left messages, talking to her as if she were talking back. Every time something happened, the first thing they did was call Meredith. They had all realized how much they depended on her for everything. They all realized how much they missed her.

She had her number on speed dial.

It rang four times.

The line picked up.

Arizona froze for a moment in shock.

"Hello?" A soft, quiet voice asked.

"Meredith?!" Arizona almost shouted. She couldn't believe her ears.

"Arizona?" She realized it was Zola's voice. The sweet, innocent voice that she missed so much.

"Zola! Oh, my god, you're okay!" Arizona cried. Relief flushed over her.

"Yeah. We're okay. Mommy and Bailey are here too. I don't know where we are. Mommy said we're playing hide and seek. I miss you. I miss everyone." Zola said quietly. Arizona was filled with worry.

"Is your mommy there? Can I talk to her?" She asked. Zola sighed and Arizona heard the pain in the simple sound. Something had happened. Something was different about the normally cheerful little girl.

"She doesn't know I'm on the phone. She's having one of her... days. She's sad today, and she can't talk. Sorry." Zola explained. Arizona sighed. She knew exactly how Meredith felt. She wanted to talk to her. Maybe they could make each other feel better. But, from how Zola sounded, Arizona had a feeling it was something more than the anniversary of the Plane Crash that was making Meredith upset.

"Zola, do you know if you're coming back soon?" She asked. Everyone in the hospital worried about them. They all missed Meredith and her kids. They all missed having someone to talk to when they needed it. Meredith had been through so much that she could relate to almost everything they were going through.

"I don't know. I don't think so. Mommy says we can't leave." The quiet voice said. Arizona was filled with anxiety. Why couldn't they leave? Were they there against their will? Had they been kidnapped?!

"Who are you talking to?" Alex walked up suddenly, pulling her out of her trance.

"It's Zola." She could barely get the words out before he had snatched the phone from her hand.

"Zola! You're okay! Is Meredith okay? Is your Mommy alright?" He asked. He was flushed with relief and happiness as he heard Zola's voice. He had never known how much he missed her until that moment.

"She's okay. She's really sad today, so she can't talk." Zola said. Alex glanced up at Arizona and sighed understandingly.

"Zola, do you know where Derek is?" He asked. The line was silent and he wondered if the call had been cut off.

"I have to go. Goodbye, Uncle Karev!" She said quickly, and the call ended. Alex stared at Arizona, stunned.

"She hung up." He choked.

XxXxX

Zola's mom worked really hard to keep both her and her brother educated. She did her best to teach Bailey one new thing every day and helped Zola with her reading, writing, and even taught her some basic math. Some days, when the silence in the apartment was overwhelming, Zola would ask her mother to tell her about her surgeries.

Her mom didn't just talk about surgery, though. It started out that way, but after a while, it transformed to stories of her life and her friends. Her mother told her all about her old friends George and Izzie and how George died in a bus crash and Izzie got cancer and left. She sugarcoated it at first, but eventually, she told Zola the whole truth. Zola knew she could handle it. She may have been young, but she was smart and she was tough.

Her mother's stories became one of the highlights of her day. She was infatuated with the crazy scenarios and it almost felt like she was reading a book or watching a TV show. She got attached to the 'characters' and almost forgot they were real people. She heard about Cristina's old boyfriend, Burke, and how she almost had a baby, and how not-so-perfect her mom and dad's relationship started out.

Zola was shocked when her mom told her that her Dad was married before and didn't tell her. She couldn't imagine her Dad loving anyone but her Mom. When she learned about how his wife had cheated on him, she felt bad for her Dad. Then her Mom mentioned Mark Sloan.

"She cheated on Dad with Uncle Mark?!" Zola had cried in disbelief. Her mother had smiled at her as if she were surprised that she remembered who Mark was. How could she forget him? He was Sofia's dad and he always played with her when she went to their apartment.

Her mom had told her the story of when she first met Mark and he had flirted with her (there was a long and awkward attempt to explain the word flirt) and how her Dad had punched him in the face.

Then, one day, she told Zola the story of the bomb. The little girl was shocked to find out her mother had almost died when she stuck her hand inside of one of her patients with a bomb in his chest. She was even more shocked to hear that the bomb had exploded not long after she had taken it out and handed it off, killing the man that she had handed it to. Her mom told her that was just the beginning and her mouth fell open. She was excited to hear about everything her Mom had accomplished in her life.

The stories were almost never-ending. New people were introduced, like Zola's aunt Lexie, and other people disappeared, like Burke after he decided not to marry Cristina. Her mother never failed to amaze her with her near-death experiences. It was almost frightening, how many times she had almost died and how many people died around her.

By the time they reached her Dad's death, Zola's Mom's stomach had grown to the size it was when she had Bailey. Zola assumed it was almost time for them to go home.

Zola smiled as she finished the final touches of her picture for the day. She leaned back and admired her work. It was definitely the best drawing she had done in a while. It looked just like him. Her Daddy. From his sparkly eyes to his soft, fluffy hair, to the crooked part at the end of his nose. It was perfect.

The memory she had written down for the day was a foggy one. She only remembered a little bit. It was a long time ago when she had first met her Dad. She had been in daycare and he had been sitting, watching her with Uncle Mark. Suddenly, he had scooped her up in his arms and carried her around the room, making whooshing noises and smiling from ear to ear as she giggled uncontrollably.

He had placed her down on a bean bag and tickled her until she thought she might die. The smile on his face and the twinkle in his eyes was an image she would never be able to forget.

Zola stood up and walked quietly over to the bed, placing the two papers on the top of the pile under the bed. A sudden voice made her jump.

"What are you doing?" Her mom asked softly, careful not to wake Bailey. Zola looked up at her with wide eyes and tried to think of an excuse.

"Um... I uh..." She stammered. Her Mom slowly got out of the bed, stepping around it to where Zola was standing. She fished the papers out from under the bed.

"What's this?" She asked curiously. Zola gulped as her Mom sat down at the table and looked over the top paper. The slight smile on her face faded as her eyes scanned further down the page. Zola stood against the wall, her face in her hands. Her mom was not supposed to ever find out about this. She would cry and it would be all Zola's fault.

"You drew this?" Her mom asked softly, holding up the drawing Zola had just finished. The little girl nodded, not daring to look up and see the tears in her Mother's eyes.

"Come here, baby." She said. Zola's eyes flicked up for a moment. Her Mom had both of her arms extended out to her, her eyes shining with tears. Zola walked slowly up to her. She felt shaky arms wrapping around her and returned her Mom's embrace, feeling tears in her own eyes.

She was lifted so that she was sitting on her mother's lap. They both sat for what felt like hours looking through the memories and the drawings. Zola's embarrassment slowly faded. Her Mom's arms around gave her comfort. She had become infinitely closer to her Mom in the past months. She loved her more than ever. Feeling her arms around her made her feel safe and loved.

"This is beautiful." She said, looking at one of the drawings. Zola smiled sheepishly.

"I miss him." She said almost too softly to be heard. Her mom nodded.

"I miss him, too."

They were both silent for a while. Sitting and staring at the picture of her Dad with watery eyes. Her mom finally spoke minutes later.

"What do you say we go home, Zo?" She asked. Zola looked up at her with wide eyes.

"I... I thought we were staying here until Baby Sister came?" She said. Her mom smiled.

"I think it'd be better if she were born at home, don't you?"

Zola nodded.

XxXxX

Alex handed Maggie the chart for their 7-year-old patient with Aortic Stenosis. He saw the elevator open behind her and froze. His breath caught in his throat and he stared in shock. Maggie furrowed her eyebrows at him and turned around. Her reaction was the same.

Meredith was standing in the middle of the hallway, her face was pale and covered in sweat and her eyes were scrunched up in pain. She looked to be at least 8 months pregnant. Her children were standing behind her looking terrified.

"Meredith?!" Alex screeched, running towards her. As he got closer, he heard her panting, but he didn't notice. His entire body had been overcome with joy.

"Oh, my god! You're alive, you're here!" He cried, throwing his arms around her as tears rushed to his eyes. He looked at Zola and Bailey behind her. They had grown so much since he had last seen them that it was shocking. Meredith clutched his arms tightly and pushed him off of her just slightly. He noticed her raspy panting.

"Meredith? Mer, what's wrong?" He asked as her grip tightened and she sunk slightly.

"I'm... in... labor..." She choked before she collapsed into his arms, much to her children's horror. Maggie rushed over and helped Alex carry her into a room and lay her down on a bed. He checked her pulse and she turned around to try to find a way to calm down Zola and Bailey, who had both burst into tears.

"Is she dead?! She can't die, you have to fix her! You have to save her and Little Sister!" Zola screeched. The little girl held her brother close to her and let him bury his head in her shirt so that only his blond hair was visible.

"Zola, let's go outside. Come on, we need to leave so Uncle Karev can fix her, okay? Let's go outside and talk for a little while." Maggie said in her calmest voice, trying to tame the infinite number of questions in her mind as she ushered the children through the door.

Meredith's eyes shot open and met Alex's almost immediately. He looked at her incredulously as tears flooded her eyes.

"Meredith... who's the father?" He asked. She looked at him like he was crazy.

"Derek! I would never-" She was cut off by a contraction as she groaned in pain and tensed her entire body up. Alex let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank god. It really looked like you cheated on him, got pregnant, ran away, and took your kids with you. What the hell happened?!" Alex almost shouted. She looked up at him, annoyed.

"I'M IN LABOR!" She shouted. He shook his head as if he had forgotten and pulled out his phone. She looked at him questioningly but he ignored her. The line picked up and he spoke without letting whoever answered even talk.

"I need to speak to Addison Montgomery now." He said urgently. Meredith's eyes went wide as she desperately gestured for Alex to stop but he didn't. Seconds later, Addison's voice entered his ears.

"Who is this, and what is so important?" She asked, annoyed. Meredith groaned in pain as she had another contraction. Alex checked his watch.

"Addison, it's Alex Karev. I need you to get to Seattle now. Its Meredith, she's been missing for months and she just showed up, she's in labor and we can't find Derek." He said. The line was silent for a moment before he heard crackling and indistinct voices.

"I'm getting a helicopter now, what's wrong with her?" Addison asked.

"Her contractions are seven minutes apart and she collapsed a few minutes ago, I don't know if the baby is healthy or not, I didn't even know she was pregnant. I heard Zola say something about a sister, so I think it's a girl and she must have been going to ultrasounds if she knows the gender." He said. Addison was silent for a moment.

"Why don't you just ask her?" She asked. Alex looked up at Meredith, who had tears coating her face and was looking at him with pain and guilt in her eyes. He quickly looked away and turned so that his back was facing her, whispering into the phone.

"She's been missing for nine months, Addison. She hasn't answered any of our calls and neither has Derek. She won't answer questions and I don't where she's been this entire time." He whispered. Addison sighed.

"Okay, Well, try to find out as much as you can. Tell her not to push until I get there, I'm getting in the helicopter now. I'll be there in an hour." She said loudly as the beating of helicopter blades played loudly over the speaker. The call ended. Alex put his phone back in his pocket and walked back over to Meredith.

"Mer... where have you been? What happened?"

XxXxX

Maggie stared silently at Zola, who refused to meet her gaze. Bailey sat in her lap in the waiting room chair.

"Zola..." She started, but the little girl shook her head.

"I can't tell you anything. I promised Mommy I wouldn't. I already broke the promise once. I'm not going to do it again." She said. Maggie sighed.

"Zola, you have to give me something here! You've been missing for nine months, we've had no idea where you were or if you were even alive until you answered the phone. Your mom's life is in danger here, I need you to tell me if the baby is okay." Maggie begged. Zola sighed.

"The doctor said that she's okay. She said it's a girl and that she's healthy. Mommy said she was ready to come back but she said something about breaking water before we got home and then we came here." Zola explained, careful not to give away too much.

"Why can't you tell me anything?" Maggie asked. Zola still wouldn't make eye contact with her. "Where's your Daddy?" Zola's eyes flooded with tears and she turned away so that Maggie wouldn't see. Her aunt grabbed her face gently and forced her to make eye contact. Zola kept her mouth shut, but Bailey was the one who spoke the two words that had shattered Zola's world nine months ago.

"Daddy died." The little boy said softly. Zola tried to cover his mouth, but it was too late. The words were out. They sliced into her like a knife and she let the tears fall from her eyes. Maggie sat, frozen, staring at the two children in shock.

"Wh...what?!" She cried. Zola let out a strangled sob and tried to explain what happened. There was no use in keeping the secret anymore.

"Daddy was in a car accident. Mommy went with the police officers and we stayed at home. She came back and told us that he died. Then she packed up a bag and we drove for a really long time. I don't know where we went. We got an apartment and Mommy told me she was having another baby. She said we were playing hide and seek and we would stay there until she had the baby. Her phone kept ringing and she never answered it, but she never turned it off. One day, I answered it and it was uncle Karev. I didn't tell him anything except that we were okay, but Mommy was still sad. We barely ever left the apartment. She would leave me with Bailey and go buy food and things every couple weeks. Then there were days that she didn't even get out of bed. She just sat and cried all day. She said she missed Daddy. I miss Daddy." Zola said slowly. Maggie was still frozen as grief washed over her like a tsunami.

"Derek is dead?" She still could barely wrap her mind around it. All this time, Meredith had been alone, and none of them knew it. Derek had been dead for nine months and they were just now finding out. They had been in pain for months and everyone had been busy hating Meredith for leaving.

"Oh, Zola." Maggie cried as the little girl wrapped her arms around her. They both let tears fall from their eyes and didn't notice when Alex stuck his head out of the room.

"Pierce! I've got help on the way, but it'll be an hour." He said, causing Maggie to jump and turn around. Alex furrowed his eyebrows when he saw the tears on her face.

"What's wrong? What happened?" He asked. She sighed and wiped the liquid from her face. She made eye contact with Zola.

"Oh, it's um... it's nothing. I just missed them so much, you know?" She smiled fakely. Alex scoffed.

"Women." He chuckled and stepped back into the hospital room.

XxXxX

An hour later and Meredith was screaming, her face bright red and soaked with sweat and tears. He sat next to her, her hand scooped up in his.

"Mer, its okay. You're going to be okay." He said. She stopped and caught her breath, looking at him with watery eyes filled with darkness and pain.

"You shouldn't... have called... Addison." She said weakly. He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head.

"If something's wrong with you, Mer, I want the best. You deserve the best." He said.

"You made the right call, Karev." Addison's voice behind him caused both of them to look up. Addison smiled as Alex jumped up to hug her. Meredith couldn't meet her gaze.

"What's the problem here?" Addison asked when Alex let go of her.

"She came in pale with shortness of breath, sweating, dizziness, and she fainted a few minutes before I called you," Alex said as Addison put on a pair of gloves and sat down at the end of the table.

"Meredith, have you been going to regular checkups and ultrasounds?" Addison asked. Meredith leaned forward and groaned in pain.

"Y-yes. It- it's a girl, I wasn't scheduled until next week..." She interrupted herself with a strangled scream and clutched Alex's hand.

"Do you have any idea where Derek is?" Addison asked as she examined the baby.

"I... need to push..." Meredith choked, avoiding the question. She did not want to be the one to tell her husband's ex-wife that he was dead.

"Okay, Meredith, the baby looks fine. Go ahead and push." Addison said, exchanging a worried look with Alex. Meredith squeezed his hand until they were both white as she screamed in pain, her entire body tensing up. Tears streamed down her face and pain shot through her body.

"You're doing great, Mer, just keep pushing. You can do it, you're almost there!" Alex encouraged, his brain telling him to pull his hand away before it got crushed but his heart telling him not to.

"I can see the head! You're almost done, Meredith, just a few more pushes." Addison said, looking up at the mess of a mother in front of her.

Meredith stopped for a moment, desperately trying to catch her breath. Alex rubbed her back.

"I... I can't. I can't do this, I can't! He's supposed to be here! I can't do it without him!" She cried.

"Yes, you can! You can, Meredith, you're so close! Just a little bit more and you can hold your daughter!" Addison encouraged. Meredith let out a strangled sob and used all of her remaining energy to push the baby out, her screams echoing in the ears of the doctors in the room.

Addison sighed in relief as the tiny girl started crying immediately. She grabbed a pair of scissors from the instrument tray and looked up at Alex.

"You... you want me to do it?" He asked, looking at Meredith. She didn't even notice what was happening, only focusing on catching her breath as tears flooded from her eyes. Addison nodded and handed Alex the scissors.

"Derek's not here and... it would be weird for me to do it. Just cut the cord, Karev!" Addison held out the baby to him. He quickly cut the umbilical cord and stepped to the side, cleaning off the little girl swiftly and wrapping her in a blanket.

He smiled as he handed Meredith's daughter to her. His friend's eyes lit up and filled with tears all over again. A smile took over her face as she held the baby close to her body.

"Derek would be so happy..." She cried softly. Addison exchanged a distressed look with Alex as Meredith smiled at her baby. Amelia suddenly rushed into the room.

"Is it true?! Meredith's alive?! She's back?" Amelia cried, not noticing the mother in the room. Meredith looked up at her, a wave of grief crashing over her. Now she would have to tell both her husband's ex-wife and her sister in law that he was dead at the same time.

"Oh, my god," Amelia said when she noticed Meredith on the bed. Her eyes landed on the baby in her arms and Addison sitting at the end of the bed and went wide.

"Oh, my god!" She repeated, stumbling further into the room. Her mouth had fallen open as her eyes darted around the room. Everyone could tell she was looking for Derek.

"How... what... what happened?" She slurred. Meredith sighed. She couldn't keep it a secret anymore.

"Sit down." She said softly. Amelia obliged, looking worried.

"Meredith, where is Derek? Did he leave you? Tell me he didn't! That son of a-" Meredith cut Alex off.

"He didn't leave me! Not on purpose, anyway." She cried. Amelia's eyes went wide as anxieties ran through her head. Addison was frozen in her chair, staring at the woman she had wished the worst upon for years. Alex was confused.

"What do you mean? What happened?" He asked. Meredith stared directly at Amelia, whose eyes had filled with tears.

"Derek... is dead." She said the words everyone had hoped weren't true. Amelia crumbled into sobs. Addison and Alex stared at Meredith in shock.

"How... when... where?" Alex stuttered. Meredith looked down at the baby in her arms, unable to watch her sister in law crying any longer.

"The day that I left. When Derek missed his meeting and I worried all day, I went home and I waited until 5:00. Right before I called 9-1-1, police arrived at my house. They took me and the kids to some tiny hospital and told me there had been an accident. He was brain dead when I got there. The hospital wasn't equipped for trauma and didn't do a head CT when they should have. The on-call neurosurgeon took an hour to get there because he was at dinner. They had me sign forms for withdrawal of care and I sat with him until he..." She trailed off, knowing that no one was listening anymore. They were all off in their own thoughts.

Amelia held her chest and sobbed quietly. Addison let tears run down her face but stayed silent. Alex couldn't take his eyes off of Meredith. He didn't know how to feel. No one knew what to say.

"That night, I found out I was pregnant. I packed a bag and took the kids to Boston. At first, I didn't plan to stay there for very long. Just long enough to clear my head. But then, I spent five days driving and reliving every moment that I ever spent with him, and I just couldn't imagine myself ever coming back here. I couldn't bring myself to answer anyone's calls and I didn't stop driving the entire time. By the time we got to the apartment, I had convinced myself it was only right to stay until the baby was born. A few days ago, it dawned on me that Christmas is coming up. And I realized... I don't want to spend my first Christmas without him alone. I missed everyone." She explained.

"You never answered anyone's calls. We thought you were dead until Zola answered the phone. And then it was so long after that, we thought you were dead for sure." Alex said. Meredith looked up at him with watery eyes.

"I'm sorry. I just... I couldn't. I couldn't." She cried. Alex nodded.

"It's okay, You're here now. You're alive. And I'm still your person, whether you like it or not." He smirked. She chuckled despite the tears on her face as Maggie, Zola, and Bailey all stepped into the room. Maggie and Zola looked like they had been crying.

"Mommy! You're okay!" Zola cried, running over to her mother and climbing up on the bed. She didn't even notice the baby in her mother's arms. Maggie lifted Bailey silently so that he was sitting on the bed on the other side of Meredith. She noticed Amelia crying in the corner and the tears staining every face around the room and assumed Meredith had just broken the news.

"Meredith... I'm so, so sorry." She said softly. Her half-sister looked up at her confusedly.

"Bailey told her accidentally. I tried to stop him, but he doesn't know any better..." Zola said to her mother. She had guilt in her eyes.

"It's okay, Zo. People had to know eventually." Meredith said. Zola finally noticed her sister in her mother's arms and gasped.

"Baby Sister is here?" She cried, tears flooding to her eyes. Meredith smiled at her kids.

"Yes, she is. Baby Sister is here."

XxXxX

Derek, Mark, Lexie, George, and Ellis stood at the end of the bed. Mark squeezed Derek's shoulder comfortingly. They all perked up as Meredith spoke, her kids sitting on either side of her and her newborn daughter in her arms. Derek's daughter.

"Alexandra Margaret Shepherd." She said softly. George, Mark, and Ellis looked at Lexie, whose eyes had filled with tears. Her hands shook as she covered her mouth with them. Mark wrapped his arms around her.

Derek couldn't take his eyes off of Meredith. He had never been able to. He felt horrible as he was forced to watch her run away from the people who loved her and suffer alone. He wanted more than anything else to hold her again.

Instead, he watched, with pride in his eyes, as the love of his life held their three children in her arms and kissed each of their heads. There was only one word on his mind. It was the only word he could speak through his tears.

"Beautiful."

XxXxX

Weeks later, Meredith knocked five times on the door to a cozy-looking house, her other hand occupied by her son's pudgy one. Zola stood on her other side of her, staring around at all of the snow in amazement. They were all swaddled in coats to keep them at least somewhat warm in the below freezing weather. A figure appeared in the doorway and the door swung open.

"Meredith?!" Cristina practically shouted.

"Aunt Cristina!" Zola cried, running up and throwing her arms around the stunned surgeon.

"Zola! You're so big, my goodness!" Cristina laughed. Meredith smiled as they shared a long hug. Cristina hadn't noticed the extra baby yet.

"What are you doing here?" She asked. He eyes landed on the stroller with the young baby in it. She gasped.

"Who is this?!" She cried, crouching down to look at the tiny baby.

"This is little Lexie Shepherd." Meredith beamed, sticking her finger out for her daughter to wrap her fist around. Cristina looked up at her in amazement.

"You and Derek had another baby? And you didn't call me?" She asked. Meredith's face fell.

"It's a long story." She said.

"Well, come in! I'm uh... I'm actually having dinner with Burke right now, but I'm sure he won't mind if you join us!" She said. Meredith raised her eyebrows.

"We're like... friends now... I guess." She shrugged. Meredith stepped into the warm house and looked around.

"This is nice. It's clean. You must not spend a lot of time here." Meredith gathered. Cristina laughed as she walked through a door into the dining room.

"Preston, I hope you don't mind if we have a couple more guests," Cristina announced as she stepped into the room where Burke, his wife, and their two kids sat at the table. Burke shrugged.

"Well, sure. I didn't know that you had other friends here." He said. Cristina smirked as Meredith stepped through the doorway.

"I don't." She chuckled. Her former teacher jumped up from his chair and walked over to them in surprise.

"Meredith! I haven't seen you in, what, 7 years? 8?" He said, giving Meredith a hug. Zola hid behind her mother, her hand clutching her shirt nervously.

"Who is this you have with you?" Burke asked, crouching down so that he was at eye level with the little girl.

"This is my daughter, Zola. And my son, Bailey, and the newest addition to the family, Lexie." Meredith said proudly. Burke smiled and extended his hand to the shy little girl.

"I'm Preston Burke. I'm a friend of your Aunt Cristina." He said. Zola looked at him, confused.

"My Mommy told me you didn't want to marry Aunt Cristina. Why not? She's really nice." Zola said. Meredith locked panicked eyes with Cristina as Burke laughed.

"Sounds like your Mommy tells you a lot." He said, looking up at Meredith, who had covered her face in embarrassment.

"We talked a lot while we played Hide and Seek." She said. Meredith inhaled sharply and changed the subject.

"Okay, Zo-Zo, let's go sit down." She said, reaching out her hand for her older daughter to take. Burke and Cristina exchanged confused looks.

"Um, Edra, this is Meredith Grey. She's in town to visit Cristina, I assume." Burke said as Meredith led her three kids into the dining room. His wife smiled.

"Well, Cristina talks about you all the time. Nice to finally meet you in the flesh." She smiled. Meredith smiled back and settled her children into chairs. Cristina and Burke took their chairs back.

"So, Meredith, how's Derek? Is he still in DC?" Burke asked. Meredith shot a warning glance over to Zola, who grabbed Bailey's hand and shook her head at him. Cristina watched the silent exchange and immediately, alarms went off in her head.

"Uh... Derek's fine. He's working hard, you know, barely ever home." She said with fake enthusiasm.

"Well, that must be difficult. Being a surgeon with three kids at home." Edra commented. Meredith nodded, looking down at her lap to stop tears from falling from her eyes.

"Yeah... Yeah, it's hard... without him, you know." She said. She couldn't stop her voice from breaking and took a sharp and shaky breath. Cristina looked up at Burke worriedly.

"Um, Meredith, why don't I show you my room upstairs? It has a minifridge!" Cristina suggested. Meredith sniffled and nodded, blinking back her tears and looking up at Zola.

"Will you be okay if I leave?" She asked, hoping that her daughter got the hidden meaning behind her words. Zola nodded and Meredith saw the understanding in her eyes. She knew Zola got the message.

Cristina led Meredith to the stairwell but stopped as soon as they were out of hearing range of the dining room.

"What's wrong, Meredith? Why are you here?" She asked. Meredith sighed.

"Did something happen? With Derek? Did he cheat on you? Did he leave you?" Cristina probed. Meredith let out a long breath and finally spoke.

"Derek is dead." The words still hurt her every time she spoke them. Cristina was silent as she stared at her best friend in shock.

"He quit his job in DC and came back. He had to back up there for one more meeting and he was in a car accident. He saved four other people before his car was hit by a semi-truck. The hospital he was in wasn't equipped for trauma and by the time the neurosurgeon got there... it was too late. He was brain dead when I arrived and then I sat with him while they unplugged him." She explained. Cristina was still frozen. She felt as if her heart had stopped beating.

"I found out I was pregnant that night and I fled to Boston with the kids. I didn't tell anyone where we were or what had happened. Not even Alex. Right before I went into labor, I went home. Addison came and I had the baby, and then I told everyone that he was gone. I came here as soon as I got out of the hospital." She continued, not sure if Cristina was even listening anymore. Cristina pulled her into a tight hug.

"McDreamy is dead?" She asked weakly. Meredith felt tears rush to her own eyes.

"McDreamy is dead."

XxXxX

Meredith stayed with Cristina for a week. She made sure to call Alex every day so that he knew she was still alive and didn't run away again. She slept in Cristina's bed because she still wasn't used to sleeping alone. Cristina took off work some days and they just talked, and other days, Meredith was alone with her kids. She didn't mind those days as much as you would think. She had gotten pretty used to those days after 9 months straight of them.

Eventually, the time came for her to go home. She left with promises to call her friend more often and not to get too dark and twisty. They had a tearful goodbye and then Meredith went home. She went back to work immediately, despite Owen's very clear orders.

People tiptoed around her at first, afraid that one day she might shatter like a fragile glass vase. After a while, though, things got back to a somewhat normal pace. Zola started kindergarten and Meredith got used to sleeping with the other side of the bed empty. She could never get comfortable sleeping in the middle, though. And she wouldn't dream of sleeping on the other side.

XxXxX

Zola smiled as she finished her drawing. It was a little bit hard to concentrate in the noisy classroom, but she was still proud of her work. The teacher looked over her shoulder.

"Wow, Zola! That's a really pretty drawing. Who is it?" She asked. Zola looked up at her.

"It's my Daddy." She said. Her teacher smiled.

"Well, we should show it to him at the end of the day, what do you think?" She asked. Zola shook her head.

"He can already see it." She said. Her teacher furrowed her eyebrows.

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"He can always see me. He's always watching." She said.

"From where?" The teacher asked.

"From Heaven!" Zola replied. The teacher's face fell. Her eyes filled with sadness.

"You must miss him." She said. Zola nodded.

"I do. All the time." She said. The teacher nodded and walked away.

XxXxX

Derek stood in the kindergarten classroom watching his daughter hard at work on a drawing. Lexie was by his side, smiling proudly.

"She's quite the artist, isn't she?" His sister-in-law chuckled. He nodded, a small smile on his face.

"She is." Lexie rubbed his back.

"She's beautiful."

XxXxX

 **Oh, my goodness.**

 **I've been writing this story for over two weeks now. 11,000 words. I'm honestly amazed at myself. Now for the real author's note.**

 **I knew this was coming. I thought I was prepared. I thought I was ready.**

 **I was not.**

 **Never have I been more heartbroken. Never have I cried so hard for so long. Never have I felt the pain that I felt in my heart when Derek Shepherd died. I cried for hours. I was shaking until the moment I fell asleep that night. I've had multiple emotional breakdowns in the past few days when everything came grinding to a halt and the reality of that episode was dumped on me like a pile of bricks.**

 **I had the idea for this story two weeks ago when I was half asleep. I hadn't even watched the episode yet, but I had an idea of what would happen in the aftermath. Now, I've seen what actually happened, and I was surprised at how close I was. I guess I know this show pretty well.**

 **Sorry that I haven't posted any new chapters on any of my stories. I've been working on multiple different chapters and this one was just the only one I could even think of writing the past few days. I've been in grief mode. Thank god for the extra-long weekend.**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	10. Toxic

Meredith Grey had never wanted to be the nervous girlfriend freaking out in the waiting room. That girl had always annoyed her. Yet, sitting in the gallery and watching Derek performing an emergency surgery on a girl with toxic blood in an airtight suit with less than 5 minutes of oxygen left... she understood that girl pretty well.

Izzie sat down in the seat next to her and she shook out of her daze.

"What's going on?" Izzie asked.

"The chief found out the anesthesiologist didn't have time to drop an N.G tube, so now they have to place one and decompress, and repack her intestines and close." Meredith explained. She saw the fog forming on the inside of Burke's suit and felt butterflies in her stomach.

"And they're about to run out of air." She added. Derek turned and looked at her. His blue eyes met hers and for a moment, they just stared at each other.

"Holy Crap. This so beats Tampon training." Izzie whispered to herself. Meredith heard the Chief giving them orders over the intercom but didn't want to listen to what he was saying. She needed anything to distract her from the worry that had overtaken her entire body.

"How's George?" She asked.

"Medically, he's fine. Emotionally? He's a little stunted if you ask me. You don't marry a rebound girl, am I right?" Izzie said. Meredith furrowed her eyebrows as she saw the breathless look on Derek's face as he helped Burke.

"You don't marry anyone on a whim." Cristina muttered.

"Well, he needs our support." Meredith defended.

"He doesn't need us. He's got his Vegas Show-Wife." Izzie said. All three surgeons laughed. Meredith was jerked back into her worried girlfriend state when she heard Mark's urgent voice.

"Chief, they're at 32 minutes, you've got to pull them out." He ordered.

"How are you doing on air?" Richard asked. Both attendings looked up, their faces pale and slack as they drew shallow breaths.

"I'm out." Burke said.

"You go. I'll wrap it." Derek offered. Meredith's eyes went wide. _Now is not the time for Dreamy. Get out of there._

"Alone? You can't." Burke countered. Meredith's breathing began to pick up as her brain counted off the seconds. She just wanted him to be safe.

Suddenly, Burke started coughing and sputtering. He dropped the intestines in his hand and began wobbling on his legs.

"Burke?" Derek asked. The surgeon coughed again and turned, collapsing to the ground and losing consciousness. The three interns sitting in the gallery shot up from their seats, mouths open in surprise.

Derek ran around the patient and kneeled beside the unconscious surgeon, trying to think of how to help him. His brain refused to function as he began coughing as well, with no oxygen entering his lungs. His vision started to fade and he looked up at the gallery once more, seeing Meredith's extremely concerned face before he collapsed on the ground next to Burke.

XxXxX

"Derek!!!" Meredith screamed, running towards the door of the gallery. Mark grabbed her by the shoulders and stopped her. She struggled uselessly against his grip.

"Let go of me, Mark! He could die! He's dying! Let go!" She screamed, tears flinging from her eyes. He kept his grip firm on her arms as she tried to rip them away, staying surprisingly calm and trying to get her to look at him.

"Calm down. Take deep breaths. Just breathe, Meredith." He said softly. She continued to struggle against him and try to force her way out the door but he was much stronger than her and his body way outmatched her tiny one.

"Let GO, MARK! HE'S DYING!" She screamed, ripping her arms from his grasp and attempting to push past him. He wrapped his strong arms around her and held her tightly, ignoring her protests as she punched him over and over with her tiny, ineffectual fists.

"He's dying!" She sobbed, slowly relaxing in his embrace. He felt her knees buckle and looked over her shoulder to see that Derek and Burke were being pulled out of the OR and hooked up to oxygen masks. Relief washed over him and he focused all of his attention to calming down the hysterical girl in his arms.

"Meredith, take deep breaths. He's going to be okay. He's not dying, he's okay." Mark said gently to her as she cried into his scrubs. Everyone in the gallery had rushed out to help, leaving the two of them alone.

"I can't lose him. It took me too long to find him. I love him!" She sobbed. He rubbed her back soothingly, not sure what to say. He had always supported Derek and Addison's relationship. He never imagined Derek with anyone else. He felt infinite guilt for tearing their marriage apart, but he had never seen the other side of the story. If he hadn't slept with Addison, Derek would never have found Meredith. And Mark had a feeling that Meredith was the one. _His_ one.

"He's going to be fine. Let's go check on him, alright?" He said gently, helping the hysterical intern to his feet. Two months ago, Mark would've laughed if someone told him that two months later, he would be helping Derek's perfect new girlfriend to her feet after he collapsed in the OR. He just wasn't that kind of person. But something about Meredith made his big brother instincts kick in, just like they had when any one of Derek's sisters had been hurt and he had teamed up with Derek to beat up the kid who did it.

Mark could see the way that Meredith made Derek happy. He saw the twinkle in his best friend's eye every time he looked at her. He was happy that she was there. She was perfect for him.

Before he knew it, they were in the hallway, where Derek and Burke were being wheeled out of the OR on gurneys. Cristina was beside Burke and Richard and Izzie were beside Derek, looking around for Meredith.

"Oh, god! Derek!" Meredith practically screamed as soon as the gurneys were in sight, rushing to the side of the gurney with Mark right behind her. Izzie and Richard jumped out of the way just in time for her to screech to a halt beside the rolling bed, reaching her hand out to stroke Derek's dark, sweat-soaked curls.

He opened his eyes and looked up at her, the oxygen mask over his mouth and nose fogging up as he breathed in and out. He smiled charismatically.

"Damn it, Derek! You idiot! Why would you do that to me?" She shouted, smacking the top of his head hard enough to hurt but not hard enough to injure him. He chuckled and coughed, grabbing her empty hand with his.

"I'm... a dreamy idiot." He smirked, staring up at her groggily. She narrowed her eyes at him and sighed.

"Yes, you are."

XxXxX

 **Yeah, it's short, but it's cute. I liked writing the Mark/Meredith and of course the MerDer. For some reason I'm writing a lot of early MerDer recently. Maybe it's because I've just been rewatching the series.**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	11. The Green Eyed Monster

**This is a season 2 AU one-shot about when Derek finds Meredith with Finn. Callie is also a major character. Trigger Warning- Violence and some mild language.**

 **Rating- T**

Derek rang the doorbell of the clinic, his very sick dog in his arms. A few seconds later, the vet appeared in the doorway. Derek quickly handed Doc to him.

"I got home, he was listless and hadn't eaten all day." He said, following Finn into the clinic. It was dark and no one else was there, but light entered the room from the stairwell.

Finn flipped on the lights and Derek looked up to see Meredith walking down the stairs. Her hair was wet and she was wearing a baggy shirt that definitely didn't belong to her. Her eyes met his and her mouth fell open in surprise.

"Hey..." She said. He shook his head and stared at the ground, trying to keep the anger out of his eyes. How could she do this to him? First George, and now their Vet?!

"Hey." He said almost mockingly, staring up at her with pain covering his face. He set his jaw and stared at the ground as she stepped closer to him.

"Is he sick again?" She asked worriedly.

"Yeah." Derek spat bitterly, stepping past her. She grabbed his arm and stopped him. He tried to rip it from her grasp but he saw the confusion in her eyes and stopped, gluing his gaze to the wood floors.

"Derek..." She started.

"Let go of me." He muttered softly, his eyes flicking up to hers for just a moment. "Let go of me!" He repeated, ripping his arm from her grasp and refusing to look up at her. He knew what he would see and didn't think he would be able to handle it. He didn't want to see the pain in her eyes. He didn't want to have to live with the fact that he had hurt her.

"Derek! Why are you so angry?" She asked. He closed his eyes and sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"First George and now our veterinarian? Who's next? Alex? I hear he likes to sleep around. You two have that in common." He spat, a wave of guilt washing over him as soon as the words escaped him. He shook his head and stepped into the room where Finn had taken Doc, not daring to look up and see the tears in Meredith's eyes.

XxXxX

He had treated her horribly the entire day, speaking in short, choppy orders and demands and never making eye contact. She had gotten progressively more frustrated as the day went on. She already had George treating her like crap. She did not want to deal with crap from McDreamy on top of everything else.

"I never should have told you about George!" She said as she followed him into the stairwell. He turned around to look at her, still not meeting her gaze.

"No, it's fine, I'm glad I know. About him. And the Vet. You really get around." He said bitterly, looking down at his pager.

"What did you just say to me?" She demanded, stomping up the steps toward him. His eyes flashed up at her and then back down at his pager.

"It's unforgivable." He muttered.

"You know what's unforgivable? Letting someone fall in love with you only to rip it away because you neglected to mention you have a wife! You want to know what's unforgivable?! Cheating on your husband! But you forgave her. She forgave you for being with me. I'm something that you have to apologize for. That's all I am to you, isn't it? A mistake? A bump in the road? A minor inconvenience?! I was in love with you. There are times when I think I still am. But if I mean that little to you, then I guess we never really had anything in the first place." She practically shouted, tears pooling in her eyes.

Derek finally met her gaze. He felt guilt drop itself in his stomach like an anvil as he saw the tears and pain in her eyes. He hated himself when he saw the way she tried to hide it when her lip began to quiver.

"Meredith..." He started, not sure what he wanted to say. That's a lie. He knew exactly what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that he loved her more than he had loved anyone else before. He wanted to tell her that he was angry because he didn't want her to be with anyone but him. He wanted to say that he had never been happy with Addison, not after he had met her. He wanted to tell her that she was the love of his life, but words escaped him.

"No, Derek! You don't get to talk anymore! You've done enough talking! I know exactly how you feel about me now. Every time you talk, you hurt me. Everything you say is painful. I love you, Derek. I know you will never love me back, but I love you. You can call me a whore and treat me like the gum on the bottom of your shoe and you can hurt me all you want, but I'm never going to stop loving you. I'll forgive you every time. I'm young and I'm stupid and I'm desperate and I know that I'm naive for thinking any of this means anything at all to you, but I love you."

"I thought I was all pieced back together. I thought I had moved on. I knit a sweater. I birthed a horse. I ate dinner with a vet. I showered in the vet's apartment. And for a second, just a second, I forgot about you. Then I walked down the stairs, and there you were, staring at me with your disappointed eyes and your angry frown. And you made me fall apart again. When you looked at me like I was dirty, like I was disgusting to you, I fell apart. And just now, when you called me a whore to my face and meant it. That's unforgivable." She said, letting the tears slide down her face. She stared into his eyes with so much passion that she didn't even notice them soften or even when they filled with tears and the tears flowed over onto his face.

His pager went off. He checked it and ran up the stairs, turning around to face her. She stared at him, her face covered in pain and her eyes begging him to say something. He met her gaze for a moment and almost ran down the stairs to her. But he ripped his eyes away from her and forced himself to leave the stairwell, wiping the tears off of his cheeks silently.

Meredith sunk down to the floor, wrapping her arms around herself and letting out a strangled sob. She felt her hands shaking as tears streamed down her face.

"Meredith?" Callie appeared in the stairwell and saw her on the ground sobbing, approaching her worriedly. "What happened?" She asked, sitting down next to the blonde intern.

"I... I'm a whore. I'm a dirty... disgusting... whore!" She cried, burying her face in her hands. Callie placed a hand on her back and shook her head.

"Meredith, I don't know much about you. Well, that's a lie. I know everything about you. From what George has told me and what I've seen for myself, you are not a whore. You're a beautiful woman who fell in love and got her heart broken. You're putting yourself back together, and you're moving on. Whoever has a problem with that doesn't deserve to be talking to you anyway." She said. Meredith looked up at her and sniffled.

"Why are you being so nice to me? I've been horrible to you ever since you got with George, and he isn't really talking to me right now." She said weakly. Callie sighed.

"You're George's friend. You may have hurt him, but I know that you're still his friend. The fact that you've stood by him this whole time tells me that you are a good person and that you care about him and your friendship. I know from when he does talk about you that you really did not want to hurt him. I know that you're a good person and a great surgeon and I know that I wouldn't be disappointed to have you as a friend. And when I see my friends crying in stairwells, I help. So, what happened?" She said, her eyes full of encouragement.

"Derek thinks I'm disgusting. He called me a whore. To my face. Because I'm dating the vet." She sighed. "I was just a mistake to him. A fling. He made me think he loved me and then he dumped me on my ass in the rain." She shook her head, wiping her cheek as a tear drifted down it.

"Where is he?" Callie asked, her voice shifting to something that made Meredith a little uneasy.

"Wh-why?" She asked.

"I'm an orthopedic surgeon, I break bones for a living, and he is in serious need of a broken bone right now. Where did he go?" She asked. Meredith furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head.

"Don't beat him up because of me. I'm fine." She said. Callie scoffed.

"You're crying in a stairwell. No one makes my friends cry in stairwells and gets away with it. And no one calls my friends whores. Ever. I'm not asking again. Where is he?" She said. Meredith sighed and gestured with her head to the door at the top of the stairs. Callie nodded and narrowed her eyes.

"Come on." She pulled Meredith to her feet.

"I'm coming with you?" The blonde surgeon asked. Callie smirked.

"You're gonna want to see this." She chuckled.

XxXxX

"Shepherd!" Callie shouted as she entered the research room. Derek lifted his head out of his hands and looked at her, wiping tears from his face. "What's wrong with you?" She asked sarcastically, narrowing her eyes at him. He looked past her and noticed Meredith hiding in the doorway.

"Meredith..." He called gently, looking at her with shame in his eyes. She stared at the ground, her arms wrapped around herself and tears threatening to spill from her eyes. He hated seeing her so hurt and knowing that it was his fault.

"Uh, no. You don't get to talk to her anymore. You don't get to break her heart and call her a whore for trying to fix it." She stepped in front of him, her arms crossed and her jaw set.

"Dr. Torres... I didn't-" He was interrupted when she grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him out of the chair with surprising strength.

"You are the disgusting one. Leading someone on and making her think you cared about her. Making her think she had a chance. Pulling the rug out from under her just because you can. You think because you're dreamy and have two hot women banging down your door that you're invincible. You think you can do whatever you want because you're this hotshot brain surgeon and you've got hotshot hair and a god complex to match. Well, let me tell you what, Dr. Shepherd. Meredith may let you kick her because she's used to being kicked, but I'm used to doing the kicking. And I'm going to kick...your...ass." She said through gritted teeth, a handful of his shirt clenched in her fist and her face within inches of his.

Callie brought her knee up and it made contact with his stomach, causing his entire body to convulse as he let out an "Ough!" And covered his abdomen with his arms. She pushed him back against the wall and he looked up to see Meredith cringing and staring at the ground. His back slammed against the wall and knocked the air from his lungs, leaving him gasping for breath.

"Dr. Torres, please..." He gasped as she approached him again. He grunted in pain as her fist collided with his cheek. Meredith let tears run down her face and her voice was barely a squeak when she spoke.

"Stop." She cried. Callie turned around to look at her confusedly.

"What?" She asked. Meredith shook her head.

"Just stop. Don't hurt him anymore." She said weakly. Derek slid down the wall, still clutching his abdomen and gasping for air with blood dribbling down his face. Meredith still had her arms wrapped around herself and she kept her eyes glued to the floor.

"Meredith, he hurt you more than this... he needs to be put in his place..." Callie argued. Meredith shook her head, another round of tears falling from her eyes.

"I can't watch you hurt him. This isn't right. I'm sorry, I know you're trying to be my friend, but... please. Don't hurt him anymore." She cried. Derek looked up at her in surprise.

"Fine. Okay. If you change your mind..." Callie nodded at Meredith, squeezing her arm before giving Derek one last glare and leaving the room.

Meredith stayed silent. She stood still and hugged herself, staring at the floor and feeling Derek's eyes begging her to look at him.

"Meredith..." He said softly, slowly feeling his lungs beginning to breathe normally again.

"Don't. Don't say it. I already know." She cried softly.

"But you don't know. You don't know what I'm going to say. You keep talking for me and I don't get a chance to say what I have to say. And what I have to say is that you're wrong." He insisted. She scoffed quietly.

"Yeah, you've been saying that for a while now." She snapped.

"No, Meredith. You're wrong about us." He said sincerely. Her eyes flicked up to him, full of tears and swirling with pain.

"What about us?" Her voice broke and she sniffled softly.

"I don't think you're a whore. I don't think you're disgusting. And you weren't a mistake. You're nothing I have to apologize for. I don't want to forget you. I don't want to live without you. I love you, I've loved you all this time. I was angry because it makes me sick to think of you with someone else. It makes me sick to my stomach to imagine someone else's hands on your body. I can't stand to be away from you. I hate myself for hurting you. I hate myself for saying those things. I hate myself for choosing Addison over you. That was my mistake. Not you." He said, his eyes shining with fresh tears. Meredith kept her arms wrapped around herself and let out a quiet sob.

"Come here." He said, opening his arms to her. She winced at the flick of pain that jumped to his eyes when he moved. Meredith stared at him for a second before walking over to him slowly, her eyes searching his for any sign that he was playing her and she was falling into his trap.

"Derek... if you're lying, if this is all some sick joke to you, stop now. If you're trying to get me to fall apart again because you get some sick pleasure out of making me miserable, now's the time to tell me before I let you in. Because if I let you in again and you hurt me-" He stopped her.

"It's not a game. It's not a joke. I'm not lying, Come here." He said, his eyes full of sincerity. She sat down slowly next to him, sighing as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Promise me you're not lying?" She whimpered into his chest.

"I promise."

XxXxX

 **So I decided to post this tonight because I've been working a lot on another story and I can't decide if I should make it a oneshot or a short story or an actual story. I've had this partially written for a while and decided to finish it and post it to give you something to read while I work on other chapters. I hope you enjoyed it and don't forget to review!**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	12. Perfect

**Here's a fluffy little one shot inspired by Ed Sheeran's _Perfect._ I know this has probably been done a million times but I couldn't help myself. I love this song. :D**

 **XxXxX**

Derek stood in the lobby of the hospital, waiting for Meredith. This was the most important night of his life. It was the beginning of his life with her. He wanted it to be right.

He shifted his weight and looked down at himself to make sure he looked presentable. His black shoes were meticulously polished to match the dark suit he was wearing. He wore a dark grey tie so that the blue rose in his front pocket would shine. Meredith told him that blue brought out his eyes once and he decided to take her advice.

She ran suddenly up to him, clearly out of breath. He smiled at her. She was still in her scrubs, her hair falling loosely over her shoulders.

"Derek! Oh, my god, I am so sorry. The surgery ran long and Bailey wouldn't let me leave no matter how many times I told her-" He cupped her face with his hand and captured her lips with his. She tensed up for a moment but relaxed almost immediately.

"It's okay, Meredith. Go. Take your time. Get ready. I can wait, I don't mind." She looked at him gratefully and kissed him again quickly.

"Thank you." She said softly. He smiled at her charismatically.

"Not that you're not just as sexy in scrubs..." He murmured in her ear. She gave him a devilish but flirtatious look and hurried away to the locker room. He watched her image retreat through the door down the hallway and found a seat in the lobby, pulling out his phone and dialing a number he hadn't called in a while.

"Derek?" A woman's voice answered and he couldn't help but smile.

"Hey, Mom." He greeted.

"Why are you calling at such a strange time? Don't you have a surgery to do or something?" His mom asked and he looked out the window to see the last remnants of the sunset.

"Different time zones, Mom. I just finished my shift." He reminded her.

"Oh, right. Well, did you call just to say hi?" He could tell she wasn't complaining by the excitement in her voice.

"Well, that and another thing." He said.

"Oh?" She questioned.

"I'm going out with Meredith tonight. I think I'm going to propose." His smile was beaming as he heard her excited gasp.

"Finally! That girl has been waiting long enough! How are you going to do it?" She sounded like a giddy teenage girl.

"Well, I won't disclose any details, but I think she's going to love it. Not too much that she freaks out, but not supermarket-cereal-aisle either." He chuckled.

"Oh, come on! You have to give me more than that!" His mom complained.

"I'm sure you'll hear all about it soon. I um..." He trailed off when he looked up and saw Meredith walking toward him.

"What? What happened?" His mom's voice was urgent, but he could barely hear her.

"I have to go... I'll talk to you later. Bye, Mom." He hung up and slipped his phone into his pocket, standing up and slowly approaching Meredith. "Wow... you... wow..." he struggled to find words to describe her beauty.

She was wearing a long red dress that hugged her body just right and showed off her red-heeled legs. Her hair was in loose waves that framed her face and flowed over her shoulders perfectly. Her face had barely any makeup on it and he knew she didn't need it. Her lips were the same red as her dress and glossy and her green eyes shone with excitement.

"Not too bad yourself." She smirked. He reached her and wrapped his arm around her waist, leading her out to his car. "So where are you taking me?" She asked as soon as they pulled out of the hospital parking lot.

"Somewhere... exciting. I reserved it just for us." He smiled. She raised her eyebrows.

"Wow. I feel special." She joked. He looked over at her.

"You are special." He said sincerely. She blushed and smiled awkwardly at him. She'd never been good at taking compliments... she never knew what to say.

"Your property? We've been here a thousand times!" She was surprised. He smiled and shook his head.

"This time is different." He said cryptically, taking her hand and helping her jump out of the car. He led her slowly over to the clearing on the cliff behind the trees where she had built him the house of candles. She gasped when she saw that he had recreated it perfectly.

"Derek! How did you..?" She cried. He smiled at her and led her to the middle of the house, where he grabbed both of her hands in his.

"You built this house of candles for me one year ago today. I have loved you... every day of that year. I loved you the moment I saw you sitting in that bar. I loved you even when I wasn't supposed to. I loved you every second of my life. You make me happier than words can describe. You give me the strength to live my life." He stared down at her. Both of their eyes had filled with tears.

"Derek..." She cried.

"You complete me. You're my better half. You give me the courage to do things I never could do on my own. You support me no matter what. You amaze me with everything you do. You're beautiful, inside and out. I love you, Meredith Grey." He rested his forehead against hers and stared into her eyes.

Slowly, he released her hands and reached into his pocket. She held them immediately up to her mouth and gasped as he pulled out the tiny box and opened it to reveal the beautiful ring. He eased himself down onto one knee in the grass.

"Please, will you give me a chance to make you as happy as you make me? Will you spend the rest of your life with me? Will you, Meredith Grey, marry me?" He asked, staring up at her tear-filled eyes and smiling.

"Yes! Yes, Derek, Yes!" She cried. He slowly slipped the ring onto her finger and stood up, wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.

"I love you so much." He whispered, their faces still inches apart.

"I love _you_ so much." She said softly. He brushed the hair out of her face and wiped the tears from her cheeks, smiling at her with his sparkly eyes.

"One second." He said, walking a few feet away and turning on a music player she hadn't noticed was even there. He slipped his shoes off and placed them in the grass next to it. She followed suit and he pressed play, gathering her in his arms and placing both hands on her hips. She wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into his chest.

They swayed silently to the music for a few minutes, enjoying each other's presence and feeling the breaths entering and exiting their bodies. Meredith pulled back slightly and looked up at him, her face stained with tears and smeared makeup.

" _Derek!_ You made me cry and now my makeup is ruined. I'm a mess." She whined. He pulled her closer to him, kissing her softly for a few seconds. He held her there and stared into her eyes.

"You're perfect."

XxXxX

 **Leave a review to let me know if you liked it!**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


	13. Fairy Tales

**Title: Fairy Tales**

 **Cast: The Shepherd Family and Meredith**

 **Premise: Meredith has been a part of the Shepherd family since kindergarten. Amelia is her best friend of 15 years and they tell each other everything. Correction- _told_. What happens when Meredith's secrets are revealed? How will the Shepherd family react when one of their own could be gone forever?**

 **Pairing: MerDer/MeredithxAmelia friendship**

 **Hope you enjoy!**

XxXxX

A knock on the door had Amelia rolling out of her bed and bounding over the open textbooks and dirty clothes on her dorm room floor to open it. She sighed in relief when her best friend Meredith appeared on the other side of it.

"Oh, my God, Mer!" She cried, exasperated. The blonde med student stepped into the room and jumped onto the bed, sighing loudly.

"What did you do this time?" She asked unamusedly.

"I completely spaced on our cardio exam tomorrow! We have to cram." Amelia practically shouted as soon as the door was closed, her hand in her hair stressfully.

"We have a cardio exam tomorrow?!" Meredith cried, her eyes wide and her mouth hanging open.

"You forgot too? Oh, thank God I'm not the only one." Amelia responded as Meredith grabbed one of the textbooks off of the floor and began reading it frantically. "I'm going to go get us coffee and snacks. It's going to be a long night. I'll be back in an hour. Get some flashcards going!" She announced, slipping out of the door and not noticing the mixture of excitement and mischief flash across her best friend's eyes.

Meredith waited until she heard the elevator doors ding and close from the hall to run out of the room and across the hallway, her hand instinctively reaching up and knocking on the door right in front of her. It opened a few seconds later to reveal Derek, Amelia's older brother, and his surprisingly clean dorm room.

"Hey! Is Amy...?" He looked behind her and down the hall to see if his sister was watching them.

"She left to go get supplies for a study session. She won't be back for an hour." Meredith said excitedly. She had barely finished her sentence when he grabbed her by the hips and pulled her into his room, kicking the door closed with a small slam. They both giggled as he carried her over to his bed and set her down on it, kissing her almost immediately.

"I could do so many things to you in 60 minutes." He whispered gruffly, rolling over onto the bed next to her and making her giggle.

They'd been secretly meeting up for almost two months, any time they had a spare minute and no one was watching. They especially kept it a secret from Amy, who had always told Meredith her brother was off limits. They assumed they would break up before anybody found out.

Half an hour later, Meredith was sitting on his lap, her legs wrapped around his back and the sheets tangled around them. Even with the added height that she gained by sitting on him, he still had to angle his head down to kiss her as she hadn't grown since high school and he was just outside of a growth spurt.

Neither Meredith nor Derek heard Amelia's voice across the hallway calling her name. They were both oblivious as footsteps made their way across the hallway toward them. It was only when the door swung open and Amelia appeared in the doorway that they both looked up in shock.

"Hey, Derek, have you seen Mer..." She trailed off when her mind registered the scene in front of her, a mixture of disgust and betrayal painting her face. She was silent for a few tense seconds as her expression transformed to anger. "I guess you found her." She said bitterly, leaving the room before either of them could get a word in edgewise.

Meredith turned back to Derek, her face still slightly shocked but mostly concerned. Derek mirrored her expression, his eyes jumping from Meredith to the open door where Amelia had been standing as if still trying to comprehend what had just happened. Meredith was the first to speak.

"Crap."

XxXxX

Meredith and Amelia met in kindergarten and immediately hit it off. They were always partners for the two-person coloring sheets and they went home to Amelia's house almost every day after school. Amy's mom, Carolyn, treated Meredith as if she were her own daughter but often questioned where Meredith's mother was and why she never showed up at school events and recitals and the girls never asked to go over to Meredith's house.

It took her almost two years to find out why the young girl, who never liked talking about her home life, almost always cried when it came time for her to go back to her own house and begged for a sleepover even though they already had one the night before.

The girls were in second grade when Carolyn first met Meredith's mother at a mandatory school recital and instantly realized what the problem was. The girl's mother was _the_ Ellis Grey, a world-renowned surgeon and recipient of three Harper Avery Awards. She knew that as a surgeon, Ellis must never have been home. By the annoyed look on the woman's face, the fact that she checked her watch every five minutes throughout the entire recital, and the fact that she barely even looked up when her own daughter had a solo, Carolyn deducted that this woman didn't care very much for her daughter at all. And by the utter lack of a Mr. Grey at the recital, she assumed Meredith's father had either walked out or never been there in the first place.

From that day forward, Carolyn made it her duty to take care of the young Grey. She always made sure to feed the girl when she came over just in case her mother forgot to that night and she waited until she knew Meredith had gotten inside of her house safely before driving away when she brought her home so that the girl wouldn't have to sit outside in the cold waiting for hours until her mother got home to unlock the door.

Amy's siblings treated Meredith as if she were their sister, gossiping with her and giving her advice when she needed it. By the time the girls were in third grade, Kathleen, who was eight years older than them, was a junior in high school, Nancy, who was six years older, was a freshman, Lizzie, who was four years older, was in seventh grade, and Derek, the only brother and two years older, was in fifth grade.

Meredith looked at Amy's dad as her father figure in her life. He had jokes that made her laugh until she felt dizzy and he even had a nickname for her like he did for the rest of the Shepherds. He made her and Amy chocolate chip pancakes on mornings when she slept over and he loved to embarrass them when they were in public together. Meredith even called him 'Dad'.

The girls were in fifth grade when Christopher died and Meredith was just as devastated as the rest of the family. She was invited to the family-exclusive funeral and Carolyn had bought her a black dress because when Meredith had come home crying and asked her mother for a dress to wear to Amy's dad's funeral, Ellis had asked who Amy was and why she cared.

Meredith had developed a badly-hidden crush on the only male Shepherd sibling around sixth grade. Amy had made a rule as soon as she realized this that Derek was off-limits to her. Meredith had awkwardly played it off and murmured that he was like a brother to her and they never spoke of it since. Though a plethora of boys at their school had liked Meredith and some of them even had the courage to ask her out, she never stopped liking Derek.

Amelia and Meredith both decided that they wanted to become surgeons like everyone else in their families and applied to all of the same med schools. They were elated when they both got into the University of Washington, which Derek and Lizzy were currently attending and Nancy and Kathleen had graduated from.

Their second year of Med School they had the dorm across the hall from Derek and Meredith finally confessed her feelings for him. He told her that he had felt the same way about her ever since high school. They decided that they would be together in secret to avoid awkwardness and disapproval from the family. Derek was the only other person that knew about Ellis's Alzheimer's.

He _had_ been the only other person that knew about their relationship.

XxXxX

As soon as Amelia caught the two of them together, she had run into her dorm room and locked the door, speed-dialing her mom to complain. She quickly learned that Carolyn hadn't known about them either and assumed she would be enraged. Instead, she seemed pleasantly surprised and commented that she was glad that the two of them were being taken care of by good people. Amy had frustratedly hung up and called each of her sisters in turn, becoming even more frustrated when they all expressed the same opinions.

"Am I the _only_ person who thinks this is wrong?!" She had screamed into the phone before hanging up on Kathleen without getting an answer. She threw her phone onto her bed and collapsed next to it, hiding her face in her pillow and wishing she could erase the sight from her memory.

About twenty minutes later, there was a knock at her door. She groaned angrily. "Go away, Meredith!" She shouted, covering her ears with her pillow.

"Amy..." Meredith said quietly, begging her best friend to let her in. Amelia heard her sniffle and had to remind herself why she was mad.

"Go _away_!" She repeated, cringing when her voice cracked and blinking back tears in her eyes.

"We still have to study..." Meredith whimpered, wanting a chance to explain herself face to face.

"Get Derek to help you. I'm sure he wouldn't mind." Amelia spat, almost instantly regretting it as she heard more sniffles through the door followed by retreating footsteps and she realized she had scared her best friend away.

Meredith knocked weakly on Derek's door, holding in sobs, and collapsed into his arms as soon as the door opened. He carried her into his room for the second time that day and kicked the door closed again, but this time he just sat on the bed next to her and comforted her while she cried.

He'd spent twenty minutes discussing what to do with her and helping her work up the courage to face Amelia, knowing how harsh his sister's wrath could be. Now he regretted it deeply, seeing how much pain Meredith was in just from a thirty-second interaction with her.

Meredith spent days trying to talk to Amelia. She slept in Derek's bed because Amelia made sure that she knew she was not welcome in their dorm. She used every available opportunity to try to talk to her friend but the youngest Shepherd would either ignore her or walk away every time. She asked Derek for advice but he didn't know what to do either and Amelia ignored him as well.

Finally, after a week of avoiding Meredith, Amelia opened the door when she knocked. Her best friend seemed shocked but didn't waste the opportunity.

"Amelia, _please_ , can you just give us a chance to explain? Just listen for a little while?" Meredith begged. Amelia stared at the ground, silent, for a few moments.

"Fine." She practically whispered, following Meredith across the hall and into Derek's room. Her brother was surprised to see that Amelia was with Meredith but quickly noticed how tense they both were and realized that they were anything but reconciled.

Amelia sat in a chair at the far end of the room, as far away from them as possible. Meredith sat on the bed and Derek sat next to her, his hand just barely touching hers. They both looked from Amelia to each other, waiting to see who would speak first. Derek finally spoke up.

"Listen, Amelia, we know that this is... hard... for you..." He started, not really sure where he was going.

"I had one rule. _One. Rule._ How could you do the only thing I told you not to do?" Amelia cried, talking to Meredith as if she hadn't even heard what Derek said. She looked up at Derek for a moment and he saw her take a deep breath, wondering what she was going to say.

"I'm sorry that you had to see what you saw. And I'm sorry that you had to find out about us that way. And I wish I could tell you that I'm sorry it happened but... I'm not." Both Shepherd siblings were taken aback and Amelia finally looked up at her friend and saw that she had Derek's hand clasped in hers tightly. "This wasn't just a one-time thing. It's been going on for two months. We never... expected anyone to find out. It wasn't supposed to get serious but... it is. It's serious." Meredith continued, which left Amelia even more shell-shocked.

"Two months?!" She practically screamed, her eyes wider than either of them had ever seen them. Derek finally found the capacity to speak.

"I know that you don't necessarily... approve... of us, but, I don't want this to ruin your friendship with Meredith. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at me, but don't take it out on her." Derek said, squeezing Meredith's hand and looking at her proudly. Amelia sighed and finally made eye contact with Meredith.

"I miss you." She admitted softly. Meredith smiled and jumped out of the bed, running over to her friend and embracing her.

"I miss you too." She cried. Derek smiled and watched them for a few seconds until Amelia finally pulled away and looked between Meredith and Derek skeptically.

"I guess this could be kind of cute... but if you hurt her, I will _have_ to strangle you," Amelia said seriously, narrowing her eyes at Derek. He grinned and slid off of the bed, walking over to them and wrapping his arm around Meredith.

"I guess I can call you my girlfriend now." He whispered, making her giggle. Amelia stood up, pretending to be disgusted.

"Get a room, you two." She scoffed, shoving Derek lightly and leaving the dorm with a smirk on her face.

 _Maybe this isn't so bad after all_.

XxXxX

A week later, all of the Shepherds had their monthly dinner at Carolyn's house. Meredith traded seats with Amelia so that she could sit in between her and Derek. They held hands the entire time.

Meredith had convinced Amelia to let her move in with Derek, promising to make the journey across the hall every day, at least to say hello on her way to class.

Meredith took Derek to meet her mother a few days after that since he was still the only other person who knew that she was sick. As soon as they entered her room, Meredith knew that she wasn't lucid. Ellis was pacing back and forth in front of her bed, playing with her fingers nervously.

"Mom? It's me, Meredith." She announced, nodding at Derek and stepping into the room. The former surgeon looked up at her and then at Derek confusedly.

"Where am I? Why am I here?" She asked.

"This is your home, Mom," Meredith said.

"Where is Richard?" Ellis cried. Her daughter subconsciously squeezed Derek's hand tighter.

"Who's Richard?" Derek whispered when Meredith didn't respond.

"The man she cheated on my dad with." She replied, leading him further into the room. "Mom, this is Derek. He's my boyfriend." She said, ignoring her mother's question entirely.

"Meredith, I don't have time to meet your friends, and frankly, I don't care. I have a surgery and I need to find Richard. Have you seen him or not?" Ellis growled. Derek saw that his girlfriend was holding back tears and took a step closer to her to remind her that he was there.

"No. I haven't seen him. I'll leave you alone." Meredith said flatly, allowing Derek to lead her out of the room. As soon as they were sitting in his car, he turned to look at her.

"Is she always like that?" He asked, cringing when it sounded harsher than he meant it to.

"No, not when she's lucid. We caught her at a bad time." She said softly.

"Are you okay?" He questioned, placing his hand on top of hers. She wiped the frown off of her face surprisingly quickly and intertwined her fingers with his.

"I'm fine." The corners of her mouth turned up just slightly in a fake smile and then she turned to look out the window and was silent the rest of the drive.

XxXxX

Meredith woke up and rolled over groggily, confused when she felt that the other side of the bed was empty. She looked up and saw Derek getting dressed.

"Where are you going?" She asked quietly. He hadn't realized she was awake and jumped slightly in surprise.

"I have a class. It's only an hour, I'll be back before you wake up." He said, not too happy about having to wake up early himself.

"But it's the weekend!" She whined. He finished getting dressed and walked back over to the bed, sitting down next to her.

"I know. It sucks, but we still have our date tonight. I'll be back soon." He kissed her forehead and disappeared out the door.

A little over an hour later, Derek returned and was relieved to find Meredith still asleep. He kicked his shoes off and slid into the bed as quietly as possible, wrapping his arms around her. He nuzzled his face into her neck and smelled her hair, feeling instant serenity as he quickly fell asleep.

That afternoon, Meredith knocked on Amelia's door on her way to her only class of the day. It opened almost immediately.

"Hey, Mer!" Her friend seemed surprised to see her and she realized she hadn't come over the day before.

"Hey, Ames. Sorry I didn't come over yesterday. I had back-to-back classes and completely crashed by, like, 5:00." Meredith said, walking into the room and sitting on the bed.

"Ugh, I hate that. Med School sucks." Amelia cried, closing the door and laying down on the bed. "You want to watch something? We haven't had a movie night in a while." She suggested.

"Uh, I can't. I actually have to be on campus in fifteen minutes." Meredith said, checking the time.

"Oh. What about tonight?" Amelia asked.

"I have my date with Derek." Meredith sighed, about to walk out the door.

"You always have a date with Derek! Why not a date with me?!" Her friend shouted.

"I'm sorry, Ames. Maybe we just have to plan these things in advance." Meredith said.

"I don't want to have to check my calendar every time I want to watch a movie with my best friend!" Amy cried.

"Can we please have this talk later? I have to go." Meredith whined.

"You always put everything else before me! Sorry, Amy, I have a date with my boyfriend. Sorry, Amy, I have a class to go to. Sorry, Amy, I was too tired to say hello to you yesterday. When am I going to be your first priority?" Amelia yelled, completely ignoring Meredith's plea.

"I'm sorry." Meredith sighed, opening the door and slipping out into the hallway. Amelia shouted a final accusation the froze her friend instantly and sent her blood running cold.

"I guess 15 years of friendship mean nothing to you!" Amy screamed, slamming the door the rest of the way and leaving Meredith shell-shocked in the hallway. Her watch displayed that she had about ten minutes to get to her class and she broke into a run down the hallway, blinking back tears threatening to spill from her eyes.

As soon as Amelia heard the elevator doors close, she stormed out into the hallway and threw open Derek's door without knocking. He looked up from his textbook in surprise.

"Do you need something, Amy?" He asked when he saw the flustered look on her face as she walked into the room and stood in front of his bed.

"I need you to give me my best friend back." She demanded.

"What?"

"Give her back!" Amelia shouted, clearly having a mental breakdown.

"Slow down, Amelia. What do you mean?" Derek asked, trying to remain calm and disguise his concern.

"You took her! She left me every chance she got to be with you! And then she moved in with you and I only saw her once a day! And now I never see her! You took her away! GIVE HER BACK!" Amelia screamed like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Derek stood up and walked over to her slowly, afraid to make any sudden movements.

"Amy, you know as well as I do that Meredith loves you. She's not leaving you." He said slowly, wrapping his arms around her.

"Give her back... please..." She cried, gripping his arms tightly and hiding her face in his chest.

"Shhh... it's okay. She's not leaving you. Meredith loves you, Amy." Derek soothed, rubbing her back as she cried into him. He wondered what had happened to make her so angry and hoped she hadn't yelled at Meredith.

After a few minutes, Amelia finally calmed down and sat next to him on his bed, comforted by his arm around her. He suggested that they watch a movie together and she agreed. Near the end of the movie during the most exciting part, his phone rang. He didn't recognize the number but decided to answer it anyway.

"Can you pause it for a second?" He asked.

"Aw, come on! This is the best part!" Amy whined, pressing pause none the less and waiting for him to finish the call.

"Hello?" Derek said when he answered the phone.

"Derek... is Amelia with you?" He was surprised to hear his mother's voice.

"Mom? Where are you? Yeah, she's with me." Derek said, looking over at Amelia confusedly.

"I'm at the hospital. There was an accident." Carolyn said, her voice weak and scared.

"What?! Are you okay?" He cried.

"It's Meredith." She choked. Amelia watched Derek's face transform from realization to shock and then the saddest look she had ever seen his display. "Derek?" Carolyn asked when he was silent for a few seconds.

"Is she..." He trailed off, unable to allow himself to say the word he feared the most.

"No, she's in surgery. The doctors said she has a serious brain bleed that they need to evacuate." His mom explained, her voice slightly relieved.

"Which hospital are you at?" He asked. Amelia, having only heard his side of the conversation, immediately became alarmed.

"Seattle Grace. Are you okay to drive?" Carolyn asked.

"Yeah... I'm okay. Keep me updated." He said, hanging up and jumping out of the bed.

"What happened? Who is it?" Amelia asked, following him as they ran down the hallway.

"It's Meredith." He said as they stepped into the elevator, confirming her worst fear.

"Is she alive?" She cried when they reached the bottom floor. He glanced at her and started to run to his car.

"For now."

XxXxX

Derek and Amelia burst through the doors of the hospital and charged toward their mother, who immediately spotted them and stood up to meet them. Carolyn noticed a determination in her son's eyes while her daughter's eyes seemed to be filled with guilt more than anything.

"Where is she?" Derek cried almost instantly, his pace hastening. The two students reached the older woman and she got a chance to study them more in depth, observing that both pairs of eyes before her were red from stress and suppressing tears.

"She just got out of surgery. They said we can see her in a few minutes." Carolyn said as calmly as possible. Derek and Amelia both let out relieved sighs.

"So she's alive? She made it?" Amy asked, her eyes swelling with hope and relief.

"I think we should sit down." Her mother suggested, her voice dropping suddenly and her eyes unable to meet those of her children. They obliged despite their alarm, finding a corner to sit in and exchanging worried looks between each other. Derek sat and intertwined his hand with his sister's in support.

"Mom? What happened?" Derek asked when she was silent for a while after they sat down.

"We don't know exactly what happened. Meredith was driving through an intersection when her car was hit on the driver's side. The police couldn't find the car that hit her so they think it was a hit and run. Probably a drunk driver as well. She had a bad brain bleed when they found her and it only got worse in the time it took for them to get to the hospital and get scans. The surgeon said that he did his best to evacuate the bleed but her brain swelled a lot. He says she may never wake up." Carolyn said softly, watching her children carefully for their reactions.

"She's... not going to wake up?" Amelia repeated, attempting to wrap her brain around what was happening.

"He said there's a chance, but it's very slim. Even if she does wake up, she could have serious deficits and brain damage." Her mother explained. Derek let go of Amelia's hand and covered his face, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

"Have you called Kathleen and Nancy and Lizzie?" Amy asked, her voice breaking with emotion. Carolyn nodded.

"They're on their way. Kathleen won't be here until tomorrow morning but Nancy and Lizzie should get here before midnight." Her mom nodded. Amelia nodded and stood up suddenly. Carolyn looked at her confusedly but Derek barely noticed, staring straight ahead as tears leaked from his eyes. "Where are you going?" The older woman asked.

"I can't be here. I can't do this. I just can't." Amy cried, unable to meet her mother's eyes and instead running out the door of the hospital just as a nurse approached the two remaining Shepherds.

"You can come see her if you'd like." The nurse said softly, placing a gentle hand on Derek's shoulder. The touch was enough for him to break out of his trance and stand up, wiping the tears from his face and running down the hallway, his eyes darting from room to room searching for Meredith.

He finally spotted her just when he was preparing to turn around and ask the nurse for help. Derek stumbled into the room, his eyes already shedding tears at the sight of her, and rushed to her side.

"Meredith!" He cried, swiping her hand up in his and placing his other hand on her face gently. His fingers shook as he felt how her normally soft skin was bloody and tiny cuts from shrapnel covered her cheek. "I'm so sorry. I'm so, so, sorry, Meredith." Derek sobbed, his forehead dropping to rest on her shoulder as he held her as tightly as possible.

Her head was wrapped tightly in bandages and only a small amount of her hair poked out. Her eyes were closed peacefully, as if she had just fallen asleep on a cloud. She was almost unrecognizable because of the amount of cuts and stitches and bandages not only on her face but on most of her body as well.

It was hard for Derek to fathom that she could be dead. She was laying in front of him, breathing. She couldn't be gone. He held on to the sliver of hope that the doctors had given them.

 _There's a chance_.

XxXxX

Derek sat by her bedside, unmoving, for 6 hours. Carolyn came in periodically in between desperate phone calls to Amelia, checking in on Nancy, Kathleen, and Lizzie to see when they would arrive, and talking to Meredith's doctors.

Lizzie was the first to arrive. She charged into the room and froze a few steps away from the doorway. Her eyes were fixed on Meredith for a few seconds, and, having not known the extent of her injuries, almost immediately filled with tears. "Oh... Derek..." She cried softly, seeing him hunched over her, his eyes red and puffy and his hair a tangled mess.

"Liz, you were supposed to call me when you were outside." Carolyn nagged, having wanted to explain the situation to her daughter before she saw Meredith.

"I had to see for myself. It's really true?" Lizzie sighed rhetorically to herself, taking a long, shaky breath before stepping further into the room and dropping her bag on the nearest chair. She stood at the end of Meredith's bed, staring down at her sister's tiny, mangled body sadly. "Is she going to wake up?" She asked her mother hopefully, knowing full well the answer was probably no. She may have only been an intern but she had seen patients in much better shape never wake up. Carolyn gave her a look of sadness that answered her question for her and she hung her head, allowing the tears in her eyes to leak onto her face.

"She'll wake up," Derek spoke for the first time in hours, surprising both Carolyn and Lizzie. "She's strong. She's stronger than me." He said, his eyes never leaving Meredith's face.

"Derek, she..." His mother started but trailed off, deciding not to argue with her son. The doctors had said that there was a chance. She didn't want to destroy his hope. If she really never woke up, it would destroy him anyway.

"Where's Amy?" Lizzie asked, noticing her sister's absence.

"We don't know. I've been calling her for hours. She left right after I told her what happened." Carolyn said, her worry evident in her voice.

"What did happen?" Her daughter probed, scanning over Meredith's injuries with her eyes.

"She was in a hit and run, most likely a drunk driver. They t-boned her in an intersection on the driver's side and drove away. Her doctors think the car flipped and she was crushed by debris. Her windshield was shattered and the car is completely totaled." She explained. Lizzie set her jaw and shook her head.

"Damn."

"I know why Amelia left," Derek said suddenly. Lizzie and Carolyn looked at him expectantly. "I heard her yelling this morning. I think she and Meredith had a fight. I didn't see Meredith after that so I assumed she ran off. Amy ran into my room and started yelling at me, saying I stole her best friend. She seemed really flustered. I think she blames herself for this." He explained, running his fingers through his hair and sighing audibly.

"Why would she blame herself?" Liz asked.

"I don't know. She probably thinks if Meredith wasn't distracted she would've seen the driver coming." He speculated.

"And what? Swerved into oncoming traffic? Gotten herself killed? Yeah, like that's a better outcome." His sister scoffed sarcastically. She frowned when Derek's eyes darkened and he looked down at the sheets, holding Meredith's hand a little tighter. She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly.

"She's gonna wake up. I know she will."

XxXxX

Derek never left Meredith's side for two days after that. He refused to eat, shower, sleep, or do anything but take a sip of water every few hours. Nancy and Kathleen arrived as soon as they could but there was still no sign of Amelia. At the dawn of the first day, the Shepherd family were surprised to find someone else in the small hospital room with them when they woke up. Carolyn recognized her as Ellis Grey, being pushed in a wheelchair by a lady wearing a beige sweater. Derek was in the process of arguing with the lady.

"She has no right to be here!" He shouted angrily, standing from his chair for the first time in three days.

"I'm sorry, sir, but the chief of surgery-" The woman started, but Derek interrupted her.

"I don't care what the chief of surgery says, I don't want her in this room!" He thundered.

"Derek!" Carolyn cried, appalled at her son's outburst.

"No, Mom, you don't understand. She'll only hurt Meredith more." Derek argued in a slightly less infuriated tone.

"What seems to be the problem in here?" A low voice asked from the doorway. Everyone looked up to see Richard Webber entering the room from the hall, his hands on his hips.

"Richard!" Ellis cried, jumping up to hug him. Derek's eyes glazed with realization and it took him a fraction of a second to decide he definitely did not like this man. This was _the_ Richard. The one who had broken up Meredith's parents and left her with no father and an absent mother.

"It's so nice to see you, Ellis. You look great. I'm sorry we had to meet in such unfortunate circumstances." He said, looking over at Meredith in the hospital bed. Ellis turned to look at her daughter and Derek saw in her eyes that she had no idea who the patient really was.

"Well, I'm always available for a consult whenever you need me, Richard." She smiled. Everyone but Derek exchanged confused glances as Ellis sighed and smiled suddenly. She chuckled and leaned into Richard. "She reminds me of Meredith." She whispered, gesturing to her daughter in the bed. Everyone stared at her with wide, concerned eyes as she looked at Richard for confirmation.

"Ellis, that is Meredith." He corrected her. She raised her eyebrows and laughed.

"Don't be stupid, Richard. She's five years old." She scoffed. Derek sighed and ran his hand through his hair, gesturing at the representative from the nursing home to take Ellis out of the room. As soon as the door was closed, the room erupted into questions.

"What the hell was that?" Liz cried. Derek motioned for everyone to quiet down.

"Meredith's mother has Early Onset Alzheimer's. Ellis told her not to tell anyone because she wanted to keep it a secret. I only know because she took me to meet her once. It's progressed extremely fast to the point where she doesn't recognize people anymore. I didn't want her coming in here because it seems like every time she's around, Meredith's life just gets 10 times worse." Derek explained.

Richard placed his hand on top of his head in shock. Derek's mother and sisters stared at him with wide eyes and jaws dropped. "Why didn't you say anything?" Carolyn asked.

"She told me not to. I wasn't going to betray her trust." He argued. Nancy huffed loudly and Carolyn sighed, still shocked by the news. Richard left the room without another word and the Shepherds resumed their positions in chairs and beds.

"I guess that's why she never wanted to talk about her mother." Kathleen sighed, earning a nod from Derek. Lizzie sat with her head in her hands and Carolyn stared at the girl she considered to be her daughter sadly.

"Hasn't the poor girl been through enough?"

XxXxX

"Another round, Joe." Amelia shouted louder than necessary, gesturing to the bartender to pour her another drink. He looked at her worriedly.

"Are you sure you don't want me to call you a cab? We close at midnight." He asked. Amelia stood up from her barstool and wobbled on her feet for a few seconds before clumsily shushing him.

"Just pour another drink for your new best friend." She persisted. He shrugged and obliged.

"Don't you have your own best friend to drink with?" Joe asked as he slid the glass across the bar to her.

"Yeah... she's in the hospital across the street." Amelia sighed.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Did something happen?" He asked.

"My best friend's dead. Well, not dead-dead but in a coma she will probably never wake up from." She said flatly with a chuckle. "And this morning I yelled at her because she kept ditching me for my brother, who happens to be her boyfriend and is like, totally in love with her, even though he hasn't had the courage to tell her yet. I guess he never will." She said and burst into laughter, slamming her drink down on the bar and almost falling off of her stool.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Joe said sincerely.

"Derek's probably sitting there holding her hand, telling everyone she's gonna wake up, that she's _strong_ and she'll _power through_. It's a load of crap, Joe. A load of crap!" She cried, finishing her drink and wiping her face. "One more and then you can call me a cab." She agreed. Joe sighed and poured her a final drink.

"Derek's your brother, right? The one that's dating your best friend?" Joe asked, having gotten decently good at understanding stories told by drunk people.

"Yes. He's the only brother out of four sisters. Five if you count Meredith. I've known her since kindergarten. _Kindergarten_ , Joe. And for what? For her to die and leave me alone? What's that all about? I mean it was bad enough when my dad died but now her? _Really_? Did God _really_ have to screw me over that bad?" She huffed, taking a long sip of her drink and setting it down again.

"Sounds like you've had it tough." Joe observed, grabbing a glass from under the counter and drying it out with a towel.

"Not as tough as Meredith. Her mom never wanted her and her dad walked out when she was five because her mom cheated on him. We had to feed her all the time because her mom forgot to and had sleepovers like, every other night. She was basically a part of our family except that she's allowed to date my brother. I don't get it either.

"You know, it took me almost two weeks of avoiding both of them to finally accept that they were together after I walked in on them making out in his dorm. Right now I'd give pretty much anything for another two weeks with her. I guess that's just how the world crumbles. Wait... what's the saying?" She looked up from her drink at Joe.

"That's just how the _cookie_ crumbles." He corrected. She nodded.

"Right. Cookie." She sighed. Joe saw in her eyes that she was somewhere else entirely.

XxXxX

 _"Girls! Breakfast is ready!" Christopher called up the stairs at his daughter and her new best friend. Meredith had spent the night for the first time the night before and he already loved the girl to death._

 _Amelia and Meredith came charging down the stairs giggling, still dressed in their pajamas. They each took seats at the table and Christopher placed a plate in front of them. Amelia immediately dug in but Meredith was looking confusedly at her plate._

 _"Is something wrong, Meredith?" Christopher asked, worried that she might be allergic to chocolate._

 _"What is it?" The girl asked innocently. Amelia and Christopher both looked at her, shocked._

 _"What do you mean? It's a pancake, Meredith." He said. She looked even more confused._

 _"What's a pancake?" She asked. Amelia's mouth fell open and struggled to keep her half-chewed food inside._

 _"You've never had a pancake for breakfast?" She cried incredulously. Meredith just shook her head._

 _"What_ do _you eat for breakfast then?" Christopher asked._

 _"Sometimes days I eat cereal in the mornings but I don't as much anymore because my Mommy has work." She said. Amelia's father exchanged an exasperated look with his wife, who had looked up from the newspaper, shocked._

 _"Try it. It tastes like a cookie!" Amelia said, gesturing with her fork to Meredith's untouched plate._

 _"Am I supposed to know what a cookie is too?" Her friend asked._

 _"Now you're just being silly. You've never had a cookie?" Carolyn cried. The young girl just shook her head._

 _"Amy, are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Christopher asked. Amelia looked up at him excitedly._

 _"WE'RE BAKING COOKIES!" She shrieked loudly. Derek, who was in the process of coming down the stairs, covered his ears._

 _"Do you have to be so loud? Some of us are trying to sleep." He groaned, pushing his long, messy black hair out of his face._

 _"Derek! Did you know Meredith has never had pancakes_ or _a cookie?" Amy asked, completely ignoring his request. He raised his eyebrows for a moment and looked at Meredith in surprise._

 _"What, do you live under a rock?" He asked. Carolyn smacked his arm lightly with the back of her hand._

 _"Derek! Don't be rude." She ordered._

 _"Sorry." He shrugged and took a seat at the table. Meredith finally took her first bite of her pancake and gasped loudly._

 _"It's good, huh?" Amy asked. Meredith nodded, her face covered with a smile._

 _"It tastes like..." She trailed off, trying to find a word to describe the foreign taste in her mouth._

 _"Sugar?" Christopher cut in, making everyone but Meredith laugh. Instead, the little girl's eyes went wide with fear._

 _"What?!" She cried._

 _"Sugar. There's a ton of it in pancakes. That's what makes them so good." Derek said. Meredith threw down her fork and jumped up from the table, tears in her eyes._

 _"I'm going to get_ FAT _!" She screamed and broke into sobs. Everyone stared at each other in shock._

 _"What are you talking about, honey?" Carolyn asked, running over to the hysterical child._

 _"My... Mommy... won't... let me have... Sugar... because... it... makes you... fat!" She gasped in between sobs. Carolyn looked up at Christopher in shock._

 _"Meredith, Sugar doesn't make you fat if you only eat it every once in a while." She said softly, rubbing the little girl's back soothingly._

 _"I'm going to be in trouble!" Meredith sobbed, her eyes full of fear that Christopher hoped he would never have to see in his own child. Carolyn pulled the little girl into her arms and held her tightly, surprised when she calmed down quickly._

 _"You're not going to be in trouble, honey, I promise. I won't let that happen. It's not your fault." She said soothingly. Derek and Amelia watched incredulously, shocked by the fact that not everyone got to eat the same things that they loved._

 _"A-are you sure?" Meredith whimpered. Carolyn nodded._

 _"I'll make sure your Mommy knows it wasn't your fault." Christopher said. Meredith nodded and Carolyn wiped the tears off of her face._

 _"Okay. Why don't you girls go get dressed and then we'll bake some cookies for lunch?" She suggested. Meredith and Amelia nodded and headed for the stairs. Meredith turned around suddenly._

 _"Mrs. Shepherd?" She asked, "Do cookies have sugar in them?" Carolyn looked over at her husband, not knowing how she should answer._

 _"Um... they do, but... we don't have to tell your mommy you ate them." He said._

 _"You mean... lie?" Meredith asked, surprised._

 _"But Daddy, lying is bad!" Amelia cried._

 _"Well, girls, sometimes lying is okay if it's for the greater good." Christopher explained._

 _"And cookies are the greater good?" Derek said skeptically. Carolyn bopped him on the head with her newspaper and they all erupted into laughs._

XxXxX

Amelia smiled as she recalled the memory of baking cookies with her new best friend, when Meredith tried mixing the flour too fast and it flew everywhere, and when she started eating raw cookie dough because she thought they were done.

Her father's words repeated in her mind. _Sometimes lying is okay if it's for the greater good._

"You know what, Joe, I'm just going to walk across the street to the hospital and spend the night with my family. Thanks for everything." She said, paying for her drinks and stumbling out of the bar. Joe watched her leave, wondering if she would actually go to the hospital.

She didn't.

XxXxX

It was the fourth day of Derek sitting at Meredith's bedside when it happened. Lizzie and Nancy were home showering and sleeping. Kathleen was out getting food. Carolyn returned from a talk with the doctors and placed a hand on her son's shoulder.

"Derek, we need to talk." She said. He looked up at her for a moment and saw the look in her eyes.

"No." He stated immediately, knowing what she wanted to talk about.

"The doctors say it's time." She said sadly.

"No. It's not time yet. She can still wake up. She will." He cried.

"We're going to wait until Liz, Nancy, and Kathleen get back. I'm going to go find Amy. Now's your time to... say goodbye." Carolyn said, squeezing his shoulder and exiting the room. Derek was left alone with Meredith and he spent the first two minutes just crying over her. Finally, he calmed himself down enough to speak.

"Meredith... you have got to fight harder. They're going to give up on you, baby. They're going to take you away. You can let them take your life away from you. Please... if you're in there... if you can hear me at all... just fight. Fight a little bit harder. All you have to do is move a finger. Buy us some more time. We need more time." He begged, staring at her hand for a few seconds to see if she moved.

"Do _not_ leave me, you hear me? Don't even think about giving up. You don't get to leave me. Not now. You don't get to leave Amy and Lizzie and Kathleen and Nancy and Mom. You have to stay. For us." Derek stood up from his chair, placing his hand on Meredith's face and stroking her cheek gently.

"I love you. I do. I love you more than you could ever imagine. You changed my life. You lit up my world. You brought out a new person in me. You made the low points in my life... higher. You made me happier than I have ever been. I don't want to lose you, Meredith. I can't lose you. I love you." He cried, tears staining his face. He leaned down slowly and kissed her as gently as possible, his hand holding her cheek like a lifeline.

Derek pulled away for a few seconds and stared down at Meredith, his eyes sparkling with unshed tears and glowing with love. The light on his face slowly dimmed and he sat in the chair, defeated.

"Damn. I really thought this would be like the movies. True love's kiss wakes the sleeping maiden from her eternal slumber and they live happily ever after..." He mumbled, grabbing her hand again and laying his head on the side of the bed.

"Maybe we weren't meant to be after all." He sighed sadly. Carolyn watched from the doorway, her face full of sympathy for her son, being left by the woman he loved. He looked up at her suddenly, his face covered in surprise. "Mom." He said.

"What?" She asked.

"Go find Amy. Now." He demanded, his voice full of urgency.

"Why?" She asked. Derek turned and looked down at his hand, wrapped around Meredith's the way she always liked it. Since their hands were such drastically different sizes, the classic locked fingers didn't work for them. Instead they opted for Derek to just clasp her small hand in his, with his thumb stroking the top of her hand comfortingly.

He opened his hand so that his mother could see and she stepped closer, looking at the small fingers laid out on his palm.

Both Shepherds gasped when they saw the fingers slowly move one by one.

XxXxX

Carolyn called Kathleen, Lizzie, and Nancy and told them to find Amelia as soon as possible. She left Derek alone in Meredith's room and took her car to search for her daughter.

Lizzie went to the dorm to check if Amelia had slept there, Nancy went across the street to the bar to ask if she had gotten a drink, Kathleen was at the store but promised to finish up as quickly as possible, and Carolyn drove through the street hoping to see her wandering somewhere.

Kathleen finished her shopping extremely quickly and threw her bags in her car. She looked around and recognized the area she was in. The building across the street from her used to be a gas station. The gas station, in fact, that her father had been shot in. The bench outside was a memorial for him. She decided to go and pay her respects for a few minutes.

When she approached the bench, she noticed someone was already sitting on it. The girl was curled into a ball, with her head resting on her forearms which were folded and sitting on her knees. Kathleen sat next to her, sighing softly.

"Do you come here often?" She asked, not wanting to sit in the awkward silence much longer.

"All the time." The woman replied, not looking up. Kathleen nodded.

"So do I. I knew the person this bench was dedicated to, so..." She trailed off, a slight smile on her face.

"You did?" The woman asked, finally looking up. Kathleen turned to make eye contact and realized she was face to face with her youngest sister.

" _Amy_?" She asked, not registering the face in front of her. "Amy! You're okay!" She cried a second later, throwing her arms around the dark-haired student. Amelia sat uncomfortably for a few seconds before pulling away from her sister. "We've been looking everywhere for you!"

"Why?" She asked, her voice hostile and cold.

"You need to come to the hospital. Now." Kathleen replied.

"No, I don't. Me being there isn't going to make Meredith any less dead." Amelia scoffed, standing from the bench.

"She's not dead, Amy! She's waking up!" Her sister interjected.

"Oh, God, Derek got to you too. She's not waking up, Kathleen, no matter how much you _hope_ and _love_ , we all know a brain dead person never wakes up." She said patronizingly, holding Kathleen by the shoulders.

"No, you don't understand. She's waking up right now. We have to get to the hospital." The older Shepherd shouted, slightly frustrated. Amelia's face transformed into one of shock.

"W-What?" She cried.

"Meredith's _alive_! And we have to go if you don't want to miss her waking up!" Kathleen finally said, grabbing Amelia's hand and running toward her car.

"Wait." Amy stopped, pulling her hand out of her older sister's grasp. "Meredith doesn't want to see me." She said, staring at the ground.

"Of course she does, Amy," Kathleen said.

"No, you don't understand-" Amelia started.

"I know you guys had a fight. But that doesn't matter. She almost died, Amelia. She's not going to be mad at you over a dumb argument." Her sister interrupted.

"I said some really bad things." She shook her head.

"And she'll forgive you for those! Now come on, we have to go!" Kathleen rushed, grabbing Amelia's hand again and running toward her car. "You should be excited! You're going to see your best friend again!"

"Yeah... I guess I am." Amy smiled.

XxXxX

Derek sat by Meredith's side, talking to her quietly and stroking her hand. Nancy burst into the room, catching him by surprise.

"Did you find Amy?" he asked.

"No. But Kathleen did. Everyone's on their way. Did she wake up yet?" She asked, out of breath.

"See for yourself." Derek smiled, turning to look at Meredith. Nancy gasped and ran over to the bed to see two green eyes opening slowly to look at her. Meredith swallowed.

"Hey." She croaked. Derek grinned pridefully at her as Nancy let tears of joy flood onto her face.

" _Hey_." She laughed, holding her sister's hand tightly. Meredith turned to look at Derek, reaching out to grab his hand weakly. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, his hand resting in her hair.

"Is she awake yet?!" A voice cried from the door. Derek and Nancy turned to see Lizzie and Carolyn out of breath in the doorway. Derek nodded and they sprung into the room, gathering around Meredith's bed as well.

"Oh, my god!" Lizzie cried, her face covered with a smile. Carolyn walked over to Derek and hugged him, hoping he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes.

"Here comes Amy," Nancy announced. Everyone stepped away from the bed, not sure what the youngest sibling would do. She stopped in the doorway for a moment and stared at Meredith, her eyes filling with tears. Both girls were smiling ear to ear.

"Meredith!" Amelia cried, running up to the bed and throwing her arms around her best friend. Meredith returned the embrace, both of them crying softly. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so, sorry." Amy gasped. "I didn't mean it. I promise I didn't mean it. I didn't."

"It's okay. I know. I'm sorry too." Meredith whimpered. Neither of them moved for a few more seconds and then Amy pulled away, wiping her face and standing next to Derek.

Meredith gestured for Carolyn to come closer. The mother obliged and Meredith pulled her head down like she was going to whisper in her ear. Instead, she kissed her cheek gently. When Carolyn looked at her confusedly, the corners of her mouth turned up just slightly.

"From Dad." She whispered. Carolyn couldn't keep the smile off of her face as her eyes sparkled with fresh tears. Derek stepped forward and placed his hand on his mother's back.

"Mom." He said softly. She turned around and looked from him to Meredith, a proud smile on her face.

"We'll give you two some privacy." She nodded, gesturing for the rest of the family to clear out, much to their dismay. They left reluctantly, standing outside and acting as if they weren't blatantly watching Meredith and Derek through the window.

Derek approached the bed slowly, suddenly extremely nervous. "Listen, um, I don't know what all you heard..." He started, feeling like a shy toddler refusing to shake a stranger's hand.

"I heard everything," Meredith replied. Derek looked up at her like a deer in the headlights.

"Oh... um... _oh._ " He stammered, blood rushing to his face. He stared down at his hands and hoped she couldn't hear his heart pounding in his chest.

"Derek." She said.

"Hmm?" He finally made eye contact with her as she reached out to grab his hand.

"I love you, too." She grinned. A smile slowly spread across his face and he kissed her passionately, to the disgust of their onlooking family. Neither of them cared much. They were only focused on each other and the beauty of the moment.

She loved him and he loved her and that was all that mattered.

XxXxX

 **Hello readers. I posted this in honor of my one year Grey's Anatomy Anniversary. (it was actually yesterday but I spent the whole day writing this and didn't finish in time) Now,** **I know what you're thinking.**

 ** _Psssh. Since when do I update my stories?_**

 **I know I suck at updating and I'm sorry. I'm having a super busy summer and have zero time to write.** **Now I know what you're also thinking.**

 ** _Excuses, excuses. What good is a story if you never update?_**

 **I know it's really annoying when authors never update but I want to assure you that I'm doing my best here. I've got three or four new stories/one-shots in the works and I've got one chapter finished that I'm just trying to find the courage to upload. It's really difficult to please everyone but I try to and sometimes that's why chapters take so long to come out because I end up changing the storyline and I'm not as excited about it and therfore not as motivated to write to the best of my ability.**

 **I'm going to try my hardest to get something else up but it will most likely take me a few days to finish anything and be happy with it.**

 **I hope you all enjoyed this story and please leave a reviw to let me know if I should write a sequel/prequel because I actually really love this AU even though the ending was kind of cheesy and there are a lot more ideas I have for it.**

 **Kisses!**

 **-E**


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